Just noted on a post someone calling their horse a “turd,” and have seen others on here call their horse a “jerk,” etc. Do people get away with that at your barns? I was raised to never use those kind of negative words about horses (or other animals), including “stupid,” “stubborn,” etc. At most, we sometimes critique behavior, like “he came out rank today” or “she was a little naughty in the corner,” but we would never be allowed to say negative things about the character of the animal, who really did not volunteer for what we do to/with them.
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I think this is one of those “when you know better, you do better” things. Not all of us were raised by true horsemen, and I would bet that a fair few of us are guilty of thinking and saying things like this.
When I started riding, I had no instruction. We had some land in Oregon, my parents bought some horses and off we went.
It’s not until you really internalize a bunch of things about horse behavior, and your mindset shifts to seeing things through their eyes, that you will stop thinking and saying such things.
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One of the horses I’m currently riding is essentially an overgrown pony—with all the pony-tude you can imagine, I sing a little song to him when we flat, and yes, the word turd is in it, but truly it’s a love song to an awesome, never easy school horse. I dislike rude, unflattering or derogatory words applied to horses. It’s says an awful lot about the human involved and little about the horse. (One of the reasons I hate that “shiteventers” FB page…so many bad humans on good horses).
My beloved mare is Princess Buttercup, because she is awesome…even when she isn’t.
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I say my horses are being insert naughty word today. Sometimes they are, they have personalities and they can behave in ways that are rude to others (though, it’s usually to other pasture mates).
I called my pony a butthead tonight because he keeps ripping apart all the blankets the other horses are wearing. One of my horses is truly not mentally blessed; I called her a dork last week because she stood with her head in the run in but not the rest of her, so she got soaked but didn’t think she was getting wet at all….
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It is a way of blaming the horse rather than taking responsibility for the behavior. It also shows a lack of understanding of the equine brain to attribute human emotions and motivations to horses. It is often just a way of excusing their own deficiencies.
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It’s often just a joke. I’ve called my horses all sorts of names, and yes I’m well aware of how their brains work. But I’m not going to feel bad about calling my geldings “Tweedle dee and Tweedle dumb” because one day the garbage can is scary and the next it isn’t. I’m not going to feel bad about calling one of them a jerk for walking up to the other while he’s napping and giving him a nip on the butt.
You can still be a good horse person and use choice words.
Are some people totally oblivious and blame the horse for everything? Of course. But that isn’t the same as jokingly calling your horse a name when you know he’ll be fresh for your first ride outside in six months (this will be me this afternoon 
)
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The mare gets a “good morning, beautiful.” The gelding gets a “back up, doofus.”
In my defense, the mare is mine. She’s loyal, feminine, and personable.
The gelding belongs to our son, who has taught him to fart when you walk behind him. There’s enough Appy to make him smart and give him a sense of humor. Our son calls him doofus as well. He knows he’s loved, so it’s fine.
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My horse is a two-year old and a pony (Fjord), but sometimes when she’s out in the pasture she will do things that just baffle me in a purely comedic way. The barn dogs were chasing the horses, but my kid wanted to get to me so she was hiding (I have a picture; it’s adorable) and waiting. After a spell, she would try to trot to me, but the dogs would run after her. So I call her “silly,” “goofy,” “funny” and when she rolls, sleeps, lives in poop, then I call her “poophead” because it’s true.
When I get frustrated with her when I fail her, I’m really frustrated with myself. I don’t deliberately call her mean names, but my affectionate names may sound mean? Like “poophead,” but she just loves poop so much. When I saw her yesterday, she was completely covered in manure.
Her main nicknames are “kid” and “baby” because I bought her when she was six weeks old and I’ve had her since she was five months old. She even thinks she’s my baby; if she gets upset in the pasture, she’ll look for me for solace or comfort. I’m trying to break her of that since she’s a big girl and I tell her that.
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Words matter, whether talking to yourself, your horse or anyone else. It takes years sometimes to realize it. It takes time to be in a contemplative state of mind enough to sift through the endless offerings of the brain. I agree with “when you know better, you do better.” Bending Line be glad that you were raised in a forward-thinking barn and keep being a lighthouse.
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Well I do have one who I do call a bit of an arsehole sometimes. Like all my horses, he is home bred, and home raised… but for SOME REASON, he has developed a “nose shove”, where he bunts the human with his nose when they least expect it, while grooming, leading or tacking up. And the person who receives the nose bunt is ME. And I’ve never had a horse who does this before, and I’ve owned and raised many horses for many decades. And this is a lovely horse, very talented and great to ride. But that nose shove is a real PITA, and when you least expect it, expect it. I don’t know why he does it, or what he gets out of it. I know what I get out of it, and it’s not fun. I don’t stand near his head often, unless I have something to do that requires my presence in that spot. And I watch him like a hawk… because I know that if I don’t, he’ll nail me. If I whack him on the nose when he does it, he doesn’t even flinch. His mission was accomplished. He’s a tough horse.
It’s a power thing I think… he’s a dominant horse, and it’s his way of dominating me… just letting me know that he thinks that he’s in control, at least to some extent, some of the time.
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Been guilty of some of this myself, in years past. As I’ve gotten older and (hopefully) wiser, I decided that is not me, at all. I prefer to talk to my horses as tho they are my friends (which they are).
I dote on them, baby talk them, laugh at their antics.
My current mare is a flat-out drama queen. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s not. Most of the time I call her “sister”. I have no idea why, it just came out one day and stuck. I also call her “missy moo” altho I have no idea why, she is an OTTB and very slender built.
Mostly I think it’s tone of voice. Every morning when I feed I call her name to come in, and I say "good morning darlin’!
As to the OP’s statement, I remember once either reading or hearing, child psychology, the difference in these statements: I hate you vs. I hate what you are doing. One attacks the person themselves, the other the behavior.
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@Bending_Line These words that seem rude to you, said in an affectionate way, are not hurtful to the horse who can’t speak English. Tone is more important than the word itself.
When my mini is being his Ponytude Self & ignoring my command to “Get in your house(stall)!” I can growl “Genius” at him & it has as much meaning as “Dumbass”, but my tone tells him I mean business & getting in that house is a good idea.
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Its a pet peeve of mine for horse’s to call their horse’s “Jerks or buttholes.” I know some good horse people might do it, lovingly. But everyone I know that does it is a lack luster horse person. Not abusive but not great. They tend to blame the horse more than not. Just in my experience, in my own life.
Funny story, I was describing my horse as “Uncomplicated and unemotional, just happy go lucky” and my daughter, who has a wicked dry sense of humor said, “Oh so he’s the opposite of you, mom?”
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Devil’s Advocate here
One very accomplished horsewoman I know goes on & on about how handsome & awesome her mini is. Never misses an opportunity to use the HeartEyes emoji in posts.
Then proceeds to overbit him - Butterfly on the last loop - & use a harness saddle with zero gullet relief or padding & she is a Big Girl driving him to a cart, so all shaft pressure is on his back.
All the Kind Words don’t negate the misuse.
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Ah yes I know people like that too. I know some that go on and on about abuse and such in the horse world and meanwhile from what I’ve seen behind the scenes I wouldn’t want to be one of their horses either!
Still, It’s just a pet peeve with me. One person in particular always “lovingly” calls her horse a butthole. And I do believe she loves her horse. But she also blames every mistake on him and doesn’t really work on herself. If she ever admitted fault and really worked on changing something I would fall out of my chair! It just doesn’t happen. And yes, I’ve ridden the horse myself as well. A lot of his antics that she considers in inherent trait of the horse is actually handler/rider caused.
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i find it impossible to even think of any of my horses in that way. Each and everyone of them is precious to me. And perfect in their own way. Same with my dogs. And the cat…even the chickens i adore. Now…sheep do get under my skin somewhat…and i do call them some fairly horrible things whenever they do. One of these days i need to move them out of our home yards and into a pasture. If they were not outside my front door and if i didn’t have to work so hard to get through any single gate i might start liking them better. 60 or so sheep underfoot (and they are quick…and alert!) my life would be a little more pleasant. They’ve been here 5 months…
In all my life i’ve adored horses. I think of them in the most lofty terms. I’m that completely horse-crazy girl that grew up and had a farmfull of my dreams come true.
i think if i heard someone degrade their horse (or dog) even sheep actually, i would feel quite sorry for that animal. Oh…last dressage lesson my coach called my baby standardbred a ‘jughead’ and i corrected her. Quickly. She may call him a domey head, but not a jughead. Not MY baby!
edit: i LOVE his domey forhead. I put my hands on it all the time…feel it gaze upon it caress it. I find it quite beautiful, and distinguished.
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I’ve noticed other ways people talk about their horses/themselves too.
I’ll even use myself as an example. I have a spooky horse. He’s a very good boy and not dangerous but if left his own devices is always kind of looking around at anything suspect. I totally could call him a jerk or a dumb@#$. But instead, I focus on my riding him. This is the horse that I have and it’s up to me to rise to the occasion to ride him through it. And we are. But, I also had trainers tell me that I almost take the blame too much. Not that they want me to vilify the horse. Just recognize that yes the horse is exhibiting a behavior that is not okay so then I need to rise to the occasion and just nip it in the bud. Not worry about how inadequate I feel or whatever, just take action. It’s definitely a fault I have sometimes.
Then there are the people that claim their horses are so special! And I’ve seen this go one or two ways. For some the horse can ever do any wrong and they basically just walk all over everybody while the owner claims they are just misunderstood.
In another reminds me of someone I’ve came across. It’s a trainer that has a perfectly awesome amateur horse. I’ve ridden the horse as well. I’ve seen the horse out and about in different situations. He has just one of those awesome personalities. And they are always going on and on about how difficult this horse is! And that he’s a pro ride and very special and could really only get along with this one person. They even ranted once on Facebook that they are tired of people coming up to them and telling them how easy and wonderful their horse seems! That people don’t understand the journey or how hard he can be just because they never see it. Only does it when people aren’t around so they can’t understand. In reality I think this trainer feels very inadequate about herself and a little embarrassed that she’s not very confident on the hot horses anymore. Or something.
We all have our things, I suppose. Like I said I don’t let my horse walk all over me but sometimes I’m so worried about correcting myself and taking all the blame that I’m not as effective as I need to be. So opposite end of the spectrum.
i glorify horses as animals… i love them above all others. And mine most especially.
I feel each one of my horses is perfect. And my job is to bring a shine to the splendid jewel that is them…to give them a direction in life and confidence.
I cannot think of any time except once …in the past 20 years or so, that a horse has caused me to be angry. When my mare balks she does some pretty outstanding things, that make me laugh. I allow her to be concerned, i allow her to investigate, i allow her to balk. But we don’t move on until the crisis is diverted. Once she moved a bit as i was dismounting and we had a little chat about things. The way it is for us, the agreement we have, is that i take care of her and she takes care of me. It’s a contract. a binding contract.
I doubt my coach would consider me anything remotely close to glossing over missteps or abiding disobedience. I am no horse’s doormat. But that is well established before i put even a foot in the stirrup. We all agree about this early-on.
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Agree with this so much. I adore my horse, I totally understand that his miss-steps are due to my shortcomings, but I often call him words that sound derogatory, why? I don’t know have always done it. If I am actually trying to correct him I use Buddy, or Mister, they are my ‘growl’ words. If we are just ‘chatting’ then tone and feeling is so much more important than words. Horses do not speak English, they speak body language, and I believe ‘read’ more than that. So for me, how you act, tone used, and internal belief, far more important than words uttered.
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Same. I’ve never been very angry expect once. My horse did multiple things at a show that were kind of unbelievable and almost comical in rediculousness. I felt my anger and I went and put him away. I don’t want to chance having bad judgment. And later I reflected that it was probably standing out in the hot sun for too long that caused the said behaviors. It was a long and boring day.
I also have a pet peeve about horses standing at the mounting block. Or rubbing their heads on people. Or nipping! None of those behaviors are okay in my book.
Still, I fall on the too soft side of the spectrum. But I’m aware and I always working on it. It’s a journey.
Yesterday I had a lesson and I think some people might have called him a jerk. But the truth of it is he’s been getting some training rides and is starting to become very particular and how someone uses aids. He’s not allowed to throw a straight up fit but it is up to me to now ride better. He’s not being a jerk, he’s telling me “Hey, you are sitting a little crooked!”
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