How long to stick with horse I don't enjoy riding

[NO-CTRL]

Hi COTH Collective,

Hoping someone can offer some advice or perspective or something on my current situation.

I have had my current pony almost 18 months. On paper he was everything I dreamed of and is easily the nicest / fanciest pony I’ve ever owned. I purchased him sight unseen from the other side of the country. Friends who know him speak highly of him and his results speak for themselves.

He is a hot guy, quite tense and spooky and forward. I much prefer a cool cucumber type being quite a mellow person myself. If I can get him to relax and listen he works the house down and is almost unbeatable in his classes. However everything is on his terms, he is not a very generous horse. He is a quick to take advantage the second you give him an inch. I’m sure some riders can work this into some flashy work and I have at times but it really stresses me out and I don’t like operating that way.

Other riders have ridden him and he works well for them (though is never a yes ma’am pony!) And they seem better able to work with his personality.

Is it possible that no matter how hard I work nothing is going to make this pony and myself a good fit? Have you ever had a horse that you just couldn’t get the best from?

I adore him on the ground. He is cheeky and personable and quite easy to work with.

I am an adult rider with this as my hobby (that I invest a lot of time and money in!) And whilst I’ve go no problems working with greenies or breakers, I just can’t seem to gel with this guy (and he’s neither of the above…he’s been there got the tee shirt and sent a postcard home).

He is my dream pony. But I hate riding him…

[ladyj79]

Get rid of him. Find something you enjoy riding. Life is too short.

[Countrywood]

If he is young and sound to sell, get rid of him, now while you can. Once a horse you dislike riding ages out of prime sale market you might be stuck with them, literally, forever. Find him a home with a rider right for him, and find a horse right for you.

If not, then take serous lessons about riding and training and put aside the idea of riding as a relaxing hobby because this is not a horse that works with that attitude. It’s much harder when we do enjoy their personality on the ground to get rid of them so you need to think long and hard about all aspects.

[msj]

You’ve lasted 6 months longer than I did with one I bought that seemed fine initially but the longer I had him the more I realized I was getting to really dislike him.

I donated him to local school and they loved him to death. I was fortunate in that when the school closed their riding program they didn’t contact me to take him back as I learned that’s what happened to several people who had also donated horses there. He was probably an easy horse to sell as he was quite young when I donated him (7 yrs) and quite nice looking so they probably had an easy sell.

I had him exactly 1 yr from the day I brought him home to the day he left for good.

[msj]

oops, double post therefore deleted.

[DoodlesMom]

I would find him a new home and get something you really click with. Ladyj is right, life is too short.

I was given a TB mare several years ago. I loved her on the ground. But she had several issues (specifically mental issues) that were discovered after I started working with her, and it took a long time for us to trust each other. But she was sweet and pretty, and exactly what I had wanted. When I started riding her, something just wasn’t right. She went off for training, and I rode her a few times, but we never clicked. It took me a LOOOOONG time to figure out she just wasn’t the horse for me, as much as I wanted her to be. Eventually, I sold her, and never looked back. I ended up with a yearling gelding, and now that I’m riding him (he’s 4), it’s like night and day.

[Nezzy]

Not one more day. Riding is expensive, and life is short. find the right match.

[Tiffani_B]

I bought a horse sight unseen in April three years ago. In the videos he was my dream horse. Movement to DIE for. Perfect conformation. Naturally gifted athlete. Young. He passed the vet check with flying colors. I paid more money for him than any other horse I’ve ever bought and waited breathlessly for his arrival. The first day I saw him was heaven. My trainer rode him and I was in awe. Then I got on him and it was a disaster. He was SO LOFTY I couldn’t stay with him. I tried and tried to ride this horse, for months upon months. But his loftiness killed my back. I’d try to ride through the pain but that caused all kinds of trouble. I couldn’t use my hands or seat or legs effectively and we just could not team up. He threw my back out multiple times to where I couldn’t ride at all, and I spent more time watching the trainer and other people ride him than anything else. I tried driving him, and that went very well, but I wanted to ride! So a year almost to the day after buying him, I traded him for a horse that was a conformational mess and was twice his age, but he’s become the horse I will never, ever sell for any price. From the first ride on him I was in love (and it doesn’t hurt that he’s got the sweetest personality!). I just celebrated my two year anniversary with this new horse and couldn’t be happier.

You spend the same amount of money and time on a horse you love as you do for one you don’t enjoy. It’s not worth it to have one that isn’t a good fit, particularly in the riding department. I can deal with an ornery personality or one that’s hard to handle on the ground, but for me they have to be rideable to be worth my time and money.

[saultgirl]

[QUOTE=ladyj79;8651254]
Get rid of him. Find something you enjoy riding. Life is too short.[/QUOTE]

Agree!

[fordtraktor]

Sell. Sounds like he will make someone VERY happy. That someone is NOT YOU and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Find one you have fun riding! This is supposed to be fun.

[NoSuchPerson]

Somebody out there is looking for a horse exactly like him. Make them, and you, and the horse happy. Sell him and buy yourself a horse more to your liking.

How long to stick with a horse you don’t enjoy riding? Just long enough to figure out that you don’t enjoy riding him and that the issues aren’t going to go away once the two of you get to know one another better. 18 months is way too long.

[crosscreeksh]

“Different horses for different courses”!! A horse that “some” people love…but you don’t…still isn’t the right horse for YOU!!! As stated previously…get rid of him and get one YOU enjoy!! Life is too short to own a horse you don’t LOVE!!!

[Foxglove6]

I agree with others. Sell him now while he’s still marketable and will be a good fit for someone else. Maybe even have someone else ride him for a sale video.

Just because something fits on paper doesn’t mean you will mesh as a riding team. I looked at a pony that was more than perfect for me on paper (right height, right price, right age, right color, right NAME even!) but when I tried him I was petrified. He had too much pony motor and I could barely find my balance. He was a horse I would never feel comfortable riding alone. I rode him twice in two days under the guidance of my trainer and just could not make it work. So I passed on him. I’m still sad about it some days but I love my current boy so much that I don’t think about the pony very often.

Get a horse that you love to ride. The right match is out there.

[Kwill]

Sometimes it’s good to stick with a training issue, or perhaps a health issue.

It is never good to stick with a personality issue. You will never like this horse.

Sell him for big bucks to all the people who love riding him!

[RodeoFTW]

Sell him and buy the pony you really want (hopefully by test riding him first).

[BeeHoney]

Not very long. Sell him, find one that fits.

[PNWjumper]

I’ll chime in with the rest. Sell him now and find something you love.

I’ve had that horse and it was a “best worst-case-scenario”. A horse who is a great player, just not from your play card. IOW, your horse is someone else’s dream horse. Mine certainly was. So I sold him, and I’ve loved every minute of watching his new owner discover every way in which he is a rock star.

So to answer your question, yes, I’ve had several horses over the year that I just never connected with. I’ve never stressed much about it because during the same time period I’ve had several horses who I connect with deeply. So the ones I don’t connect with turn into sales horses, and the ones I do connect with stay with me.

It’s a harder thing to deal with when the horse in question is your only horse, but the process is no different. Don’t beat yourself up over the fact that it hasn’t worked out, you’ll both be happier when you find him the person that does fit him perfectly.

[AirForceWife]

You don’t, you sell him as soon as you can.

[SuckerForHorses]

I bought a 3 year old, kept him for 7 years…he was supposed to be my forever horse. But like you, I just did not enjoy riding him. He was also quite like you describe your pony and I am like you.

I just sold him mid-April to a nice lady who loved him. Even though he bucked and bolted during her ride :lol: ok then!

I’d say I kept him about 4 years longer than I should have. He was young when I got him so I did want to give him a fair shot to mature. But when he hit 6…7…8…9 years old and never changed, I had to make the hard call. Life is too short, I ride for fun, and it was no longer fun.

To put it into perspective, this is the first horse I’ve EVER sold…and it was particularly hard since I bought him with the intention to keep him forever and I really did love him. But, I couldn’t go anymore trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

If this horse isn’t what you enjoy riding, find one that is. It’s an okay decision to make. I promise!

[Wonders12]

You’ve gotten plenty of good answers here.

If your question is more of “How long do I stick with the horse I don’t enjoy riding to see if eventually I enjoy riding him?” My answer is 1 year max. I think a lot of pairs go through some growing pains. Some loff their pony when they try then, but after a while they just stop clicking. Others buy a horse that works well, and over time form great partnerships. But either way, most of that is hashed out within a year.

You’ve given it a good try, but he’s just not right for you. It sounds like someone else will enjoy riding him a lot.