I’m looking for advice on the proper amount to tip grooms for individual services. My mom leases a horse and does all the grooming, tacking, etc except for bridling, which she has trouble with. The barn’s groom helps her get the bridle on, which isn’t something the barn is charging her for. She wants to tip him but doesn’t know how much. They’re in the SF Bay Area so cost of living is high and she doesn’t want to be insulting by tipping too little. Thanks for any advice!
Back in the old days of 1990 I saw that the groom who was responsible for my horse taking extra care, she was bringing her apples or carrots. I asked her about this and she said she liked the horse so much she wanted to do something special for her.
I asked the barn owner before I started sending the groom $100 per month as a stipend. (base board then was $450). so each month I sent her a check directly. (Also since I was a remote owner -horse was in Kentucky, I am in Texas… My horse had “her” own credit card held by the trainer, so I OKed a take the grooms to lunch outings for the staff ever so often… “this meal is on the Foxie horse” )
This groom was doing all the care for my horse since the horse was in full training. I believe this groom’s over the top work was one of the reasons we ended up with a horse that everyone wanted to own.
So, putting on a bridle … how often?
You mentioned SF area… everything there appears to quadruple of the real world… I was thinking an over the top tip would be $20/$25 here in the flyover country…so $80/ $100? … A fifty dollar bill might work as well as a hundred dollar bill.
The amount just really depends, it is the thought that really counts.
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Like a one time tip or something re-occurring? If it’s like a Christmas tip, I’d probably give the groom $100. Or if more regular, maybe $20-25/month. I agree that it’s very nice and helpful for you mother but it literally takes like 2 mins or less to bridle a horse so I wouldn’t go overboard.
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Agree with @tabula rashah
Maybe a McD, DQ or Starbucks gift card in a token amount - $5 or so - and not every time, maybe once a month?
I don’t care if SF COL is high, everyone likes a treat.
And perhaps groom could help Mom learn to bridle this horse? 
Is the problem physical (Mom’s) or is horse just difficult?
OP is in SF… The median rent for a one-bedroom apartment stands at $3,460 a month.
$5 once a month is pretty darn close to getting a dime elsewhere
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I think she ought to be doing more than a token.
I grew up in the Bay Area. I worked side-by-side with professional grooms there (I was a free-lance rider and a show groom). Those guys work hard, they are skilled, their cost of living is way out of line with what they are paid). In addition, I will bet that they aren’t getting paid to do this little bit of help for your mom. Plus, it probably means that one of the guys is around and watching her, making sure she’s doing OK with the horse and ready to interrupt what he is doing to help her when she’s ready to bridle.
IMO, all of those things need compensation. I like the idea of a $50 slid into the hand of her usual groom with a “Thanks. I really appreciate your help” each month.
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I don’t think the groom is expecting anything. I am sure they are doing it as a kind gesture. I think a token is nice. Doesn’t have to be anything crazy. I think it’s a simple gesture of “Thanks for your help. I appreciate what you do”
OK then.
So COL in SF is redick.
But unless Mom is incapable of learning to bridle by herself (my arthritic hands are gonna speak to me some day about teeny buckles) this should be a temporary assistance.
If ongoing, then yes, $50/mo would be a decent gratuity (= $12.50/wk)
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Thanks so much to all who’ve responded. My mom says she appreciates the thoughtful & helpful replies. The grooms in the Bay Area do work exceptionally hard in an area with a ridiculously high cost of living so being able to tip appropriately for a service he’s not being paid extra to do seems especially important. Thanks again
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your mother reminds me of one of my former clients, I was trying talk him out of spending another $50,000 on his home’s access control system… he laughed at me… told me he made $180,000,000 last year and he can afford it.
Then he looks down to see he did not have his briefcase… picks up phone to call his pilot… you have not put the Falcon away yet I hope. No. Good I need you go back down to the Caymans I left my briefcase in the lounge
He looks at me. Ok Paul how much will that cost… oh about $5,000 …the crew needs the airtime anyway.
So we ended up agreeing to get this system working just the way he wanted, but I did it without spending another $50,000 … just a few thousand was all that was required.
Your mother will do something that is appropriate for the groom I am pretty sure
Yanno, those guys will like the cash (trust me, they need it though you will never, ever see them letting you know that). But they also like the appreciation from clients. Remember that they are mentally taking care of your mom and looking out for her. So if she didn’t give them a $50 one time, but brought them some homemade cookies or other homemade food that made them feel like she had been thoughtful for them, they’d feel appreciated, too. And sometimes if they are really underpaid, you might notice something like a guy without a good enough jacket in the winter. I have given more than one really heavy Carhartt jacket to a groom or stall cleaner as a Christmas present… and seen them worn for years afterwards.
If your mom just keeps her eyes peeled for her groom’s needs and tastes, just the way he is keeping an eye out for her, it she will know how to make him feel appreciated.
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