How to "get out of your own head" and quit overthinking?

[scislandsprite]

I second the therapy suggestion! It has helped me overall, not just while riding.

I also found that having a nice little w/t/c ride in a halter on a very steady packer has been incredibly beneficial. Sounds super odd but as someone who has grown up riding hunters & dressage, the pursuit of perfection has become my demise. By plopping around the arena in a halter on a long rein, I can’t fry my brain over trying to micromanage the ride. It does require having access to a safe horse that’s comfortable doing this though! Do not recommend trying it on a greenie or anything flighty/spastic

[JB]

@Equestrian24

way too much of a perfectionist

Perfectionism always leads to lack of confidence. Always. Jon Acuff talks about perfectionism a LOT in everything he writes and speaks.

the voice saying “I don’t know if I can do this” is trying to keep you from “failing”, or not doing it “right” (according to what standard?) and is making you think everything is all or nothing. You’d rather get an F for not trying, than a C for trying and getting some things wrong (even if that means you get some things RIGHT)

Adopting the “I’m a perfectionist” has become a badge of honor that’s killing our lives.

When it comes to most things in life, perfect doesn’t exist. Anyone who makes it look perfect isn’t doing it perfectly. Not doing something perfectly (which doesn’t exist anyway) doesn’t mean it’s a failure.

Learning to enjoy the process of learning and getting better and getting curious about why something didn’t work, that’s what we need to embrace. And yeah, it’s hard sometimes!

[peedin]

Another vote for therapy. I’ve done EMDR for over 3 years (graduating soon!) and it has helped with confidence, with overthinking, with anxiety, with anger. Another things that has helped immensely is trusting my horse and building a relationship with her. She is a former schoolhorse but a red headed TB mare. She is steady and I don’t have to think about her over reacting.

[Herbaceous]

Another suggestion for therapy! I’ve found cognitive-behavioural therapy to be quite useful for me, and it’s really helped me to get some confidence back. I am an extremely anxious, fearful rider, and the slightest setback can sometimes effect me for months.

You don’t necessarily need a therapist who specializes in sports psychology or who knows horses - my therapist doesn’t know the first thing about horses (I had to explain to him that different horses have different personalities!) but it’s still been very helpful for me.

I would also recommend Jane Savoie’s book It’s Not Just About the Ribbons. I have found it extremely helpful as well.

[Clemfandango]

EMDR has changed my life…in addition to taking my time with building my relationship with my mare. Both took work and patience, and I knew it would not be instantaneous. I’m so very thankful I was able to take that time, and can live and ride without crippling anxiety.