This is where I struggle. I personally don’t like dropping them because… cross country. It’s such an unfamiliar and uncomfortable feeling to me but Miss Mare does not want her mouth touched under any circumstances at all.
I’m thinking she was maybe yanked in the mouth before you had her and is very untrusting of the hands now. She will need to have some contact tho-even the fanciest hunters have to have some contact-with the appearance of no contact. Work on the light connection hand to bit more before looping the reins-you are probably alarmed by the feeling because it’s alarming and not balanced! I think you should trust your spider senses and if it ever feels like you are “barreling” or out of control, take it back a notch and refocus on that connection. Shorter reins, following elbow, loose knees, heels down, no twisting etc should be on the mental checklist. I often liked the visual of sucking my stomach into my spine-it brought my shoulders back but with out tension.
The loose rein or looped rein is really the pinnacle of training, the vast majority of us have to have some, albeit light, contact. Good luck-tb mares are the best. They force us all to be better!
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I am a fellow baby TB owner that I’m attempting to make up to a hunter so I’ll give it a go! I have only ever ridden hunters and equitation. FWIW my horse sounds like a little different type as I wouldn’t necessarily describe him as sensitive.
We’ve done a fair amount of small courses so I’ll share what has worked for us. I canter in a half seat most of the time except when we’re a couple strides out from the jump, or when I feel like I need to sit and re-balance. For the actual jumps I try to stay light, but support him by widening my reins so he has a little bit of a chute to stay between instead of sitting and driving (although sometimes that’s necessary.) On the back side I’m always landing in a half seat to encourage him to canter away and then back to sitting as needed to rebalance in the turn.
ETA: I think it’s very normal to feel unbalanced come off a line from time to time! Or some days our general state is unbalanced 
Hopefully that helps some! I’m still figuring it out myself. I’ll post a video of one of our more recent courses for a visual if that would be helpful. Or maybe it’s an example of what not to do 
My horse is 3 and I’m very much an amateur so I understand the struggle!!
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Your horse looks very cute and fun. And also very relaxed. Good for him!
