The other person is NOT a friend, she’s the older (in her late 30s/early 40s) sister of my previous barn owner. The PBO is also on the bandwagon (only since leaving that barn) that I’m going to cripple my horse because he doesn’t go around with his nose cranked to his chest and flinging his front legs everywhere -rolls eyes- Older sister is supposedly an “accomplished eventer and jumper” and PBO is supposedly a high-level dressage rider, but I have never seen anything to prove those claims. That whole family turned out to be a bit nuts in the end, but there’s still a barn full of people who think the sun shines out their rear 
Since someone brought up the hunter under saddle group, I notice two very distinct groups of HUS riders. The first group is made up of riders who compete in the hunter jumper ring and do the HUS flat classes that their series of shows offers. The second group consists of the quarter horse style HUS rider with the peanut rollers and 4-beat lope/canter. Note, this is just what I see locally, I’m not saying that’s how it is everywhere! The two judges who told me my pony is what they call a true hunter are from two different worlds, one from a fox hunting background and one from a western HUS background, but both people described him the same, which makes me think that both groups SHOULD be riding/moving the same, things have just evolved and diverted into these two distinct ways of going. But, as several people said, all sports have evolved to be different than they were originally created to be, so it’s to be expected.
On the topic of leads in the HUS ring, I find that judges here place horses who pick up the wrong lead but make a clean flying change higher than horses who fall into the canter or rush the trot and then leap up into canter. In the QH style HUS I’ve seen horses on the wrong lead, or even cross-cantering, place higher than horses who have too much forward.
I think I said this in a previous post, but I love that my coaches have the mentality that riders should be able to ride a good hunter round before going into the faster-paced, bigger jumps, and more complicated courses of the jumper ring. It makes watching the jumper classes a lot less scary! But a lot of riders around here think hunters are boring, so opt to do the jumpers before they’re ready, and the rides are messy, unbalanced, they’re jumped out of the tack, it’s not fun to watch. There ARE some nice riders, but the majority around here are in over their heads.
But the other person in the conversation (PBO’s sister) is really close-minded, rude, and self-absorbed. Sadly this mentality seems to be the norm around here too.