I am out of ideas.

[NoALTERnative]

I’m done. I give up. I don’t know what to do.

I have fibromyalgia. Everything hurts, all the time. I am missing tons of work, and I don’t think that can continue for much longer. I hate my job - I’d probably like it if I didn’t spend every moment waiting to go home so I can sleep and escape the pain. It’s an office job, so it’s not exactly hard work or anything.

I have to horses. One is leased out, the other has a partboarder. I am terrified that I am going to lose them. They are pretty much the only true enjoyment in my life - I only get to see them once a week, really because the rest of the time I’m too sick.

I live with my parents (just graduated university, the job is my first “real” job). Trying to save up money to get a car/move out/ect, but it’s kind of impossible when I miss so many days of work. Parents understand as much as they can, but I feel like a failure. My dad has a chronic disease too and he’s done the whole career/family/good life thing anyway. This makes me feel like even more of a failure because I just can’t measure up.

I’m usually at my boyfriend’s about half of the week. He too is wonderful and understanding, but still doesn’t get it. We have 3 cats and a rabbit together. When I’m at his house is basically (aside from the barn) the only happiness I get. Mostly I just sleep and rest when I am there. There is no sex or anything, because a) I’m always in pain and B) I don’t care. I wish I was interested, for the boyfriend’s sake but I’d honestly rather just hug a cat and go to bed.

I have depression and anxiety, alongside the fibro. They’re just getting worse. I feel like a whiner and a failure. I don’t go to work because I don’t care - I know I need to suck it up and go, but I just don’t care. I don’t care about anything, except for my animals.

I’m getting fat because of the meds, and because aside from my once a week ride, I don’t do anything. I can’t do anything. Anything more than once a week = me missing work.

I’m on the meds, I’ve done the therapy. There are a lot of things i could do (eat healthier, ect.) but I just don’t care. I have given up and resigned myself to the fact that I will be in pain for the rest of my life.

I’m not suicidal. My life is pretty good, despite all of that. However, if I was hit by a bus today, I wouldn’t care.

I just don’t know what to do.

Thanks for listening, COTH.

[Laurierace]

Print this out and hand it to your psychiatrist or the ER. You might not feel suicidal but you sure seem like it. Being a chronic pain sufferer I understand how you can get to that point. You need help.

[NoALTERnative]

I just made an appointment with my doctor for tonight, I’ll discuss this with her then. Thanks for giving me the push I needed Laurie.

[Laurierace]

Great. Sometimes you really need to be the squeaky wheel to get someone to listen and think outside the box to find a solution. That is hard to do when you don’t feel like doing anything. BE COOPERATIVE! If they suggest in-patient, do it. Jingles for good news.

[ChocoMare]

And don’t be afraid to ask Herr Doktor to think outside the box… homeopathic, etc. XXOO

[toady123]

Please see a doctor - you should not have to live in constant pain. Ask about a referral to a pain clinic or a Dr who specializes in pain management. My dad is also a sufferer and has been helped immensely. Pain can make you feel hopeless - managing it will help you gain control again. HUGS

[draftdriver]

No words of wisdom. Just sending strengthening thoughts your way.

[Rackonteur]

OK, so it is the day after your doctor’s appointment. So how are you?

Sending jingles …

[NoALTERnative]

I’m… okay. We’re switching the fibro medication I’m currently on to Lyrica, and once I get used to that I will be increasing the dose of my anti-depressant. Once that has had time to work it’s magic, I may start seeing a therapist again. Who knows.

I’m looking in to getting a dog - something to give me a reason to get out of bed in the morning, and to make me exercise. But I live with my parents, so they obviously have to be on board. Well it may seem a bit weird, I really think this is key to getting me through it. I live (literally) for my animals.

Thank you all for your support.

[Freebird]

Curious how OP is doing…

Hugs, prayers and jingles to you!!

[infiniti]

My e-mail hhussain@live.ca. We need to chat, I’m 30 now and was in your place after a car accident in 2009 for years. I get it, but you need me to keep pushing you to get answers. You can’t stop searching because the alternative is the nightmare you’re living right now.