New to using forums for horse advice, let me know if I posted in the wrong section. I just can’t go to my horse friends for advice because everyone will know who I am talking about.
As the title reads I think I made a huge mistake and it might be time for me to find a new trainer.
I’ve been using the same trainer for almost a year and I could not be happier with their work. My absolute favorite thing about them is that they advocate for the horse and then the rider! On top of they have a great work ethic and I have nothing negative to say about their handling/management of horses. Last but not least they have had a prolific high end show career in the disciplines I am pursuing. If this trainer had not moved to the area when they did I would have ended up traveling 2-3 hrs round trip per lesson.
Recently unforseen circumstances have caused my trainer to be pushed out of their training facility and into early retirement (they are burnt out from all the drama). I had no issues sticking my neck out because at the same time the facility owners of the property I lease for my horses needed a full time employee to live onsite and manage their broodmares while they are still showing and living at their other house in another state with their working horses.
To be completely honest I was ecstatic with the turn of events because after discussing it with my trainer they agreed to continue to give me private lessons which means I will be their ONLY student. This is a dream come true for me!
Recently, since they officially received approval to move onsite (about 1 week ago), my trainer’s attitude towards me and my horses has really changed. It could just be stress and that’s what I keep telling myself but our interactions are just getting more negative and outright hostile.
For example my ability to manage my horses is suddenly not just under scrutiny but I am being verbally ripped apart over the smallest things. And my horses are being verbally put down in the process. For example since 2 of my horses are not show horses (they are for trail riding and backwoods camping) I have been told by my trainer that they do not deserve to wear blankets in the winter. That’s just the most recent example of the asinine comments/orders I’ve had to listen to.
Preemptively I have decided to remove my mares from the facility I lease and bring them back home. Only my geldings will still be at that facility for 6 more months. By April 2022 construction on my property will be finished and my property will be able to support all 5 horses.
My work is very stressful and my horses are my only hobby. So it is very important to me that when I spend time with them it is productive and a positive experience for everyone involved. Currently I am constantly stressed out every time I must interact with my trainer bc I have NO clue if the interaction is going to be productive or if I am going to be chastised/put on the defense about who knows what. I’d say at this point only 70% of our interactions are still positive.
So here is what I am torn about: Do I try to move past this and work with my trainer? Do I cut ties immediately? Or do I take the time off in the next 90 days to find a new trainer and just slowly distance myself from my current trainer even though I will have to see them 2x/day at the facility I lease for the next 6 months?