I need some reassurance that I am making the right choice - taking a break from horses for financial reasons

[Pally]

I’m seeing volunteering and catch riding in people’s suggestions… but I’m reading what your journey has been and thinking you might use your experience to make side cash helping others with their horses’ rehabs. (I’m sort of joking due to insurance reasons, etc… but you never know). Or you may just decide to take a breath and take an actual break from horses. It seems unfathomable when you are in the thick of it, but it can be nice.

I’ve taken breaks and they have been good for me to learn and focus on other things. Then horses pull me back. If you go with the break you’ll know when it’s time for it to be over.

I’ve also sold the horse to get the house. Now, the difference is, I’ve never owned anything with the intention to keep it long term (Sales horses were my way of getting some ownership fix without the permanent financial drain. I didn’t expect to make money but just not to lose it every month for 30 years). But our house-buying opportunity came up rather unexpectedly. Was planning to sell the horse I had anyway, only to find out there was a vetting issue, not affecting performance currently, but maybe would down the line. So then I got to agonize over the choice to try to fix it ($) and sell at a normal price, perhaps free lease him out so I could eventually have him back as my permanent “old-lady” (I’m your age, haha) mount, or sell cheap with disclosure. I chose the latter. Luckily, a friend was the buyer and I know he’s living his best life. But I made that choice because I knew I needed the risk of “what if” and vet bills off my plate. And I was right. We love our house and it’s been relatively low maintenance, but it is still a lot to manage financially.

Anyway, as others have said… it makes sense for you, and I think you understand that. He’s got a place to go. You can work on comfortably being able to provide that great level of care to the next horse down the road, and focus on you first for awhile.

[clanter]

@Pally

some ownership fix without the permanent financial drain. I didn’t expect to make money

Looking back to forty years ago would we have bought horses? The finical cost of the horses and all related costs has easily been many hundreds of thousands of dollars (under half million?). But we were using the horses to help raise our four kids. The horses provided us a known point of focus that we could use to expose our kids to life in the world when they were not under our supervision.

For us, I know many of our friends believed we were crazy. They spent their money on new cars, trips to here and there or way over there while we fed and maintained a herd of horses.

As the kids got older, all four of our kids developed into productive individuals wise beyond their years.

Then as we aged we really wondered what we had done, should we have put that money into 401s rather than Horses?

As we retired, looking back everything appears to equaled out at zero cost as mentioned before we found our pastures we bought to keep the horses on has oil and natural gas under them. Now, we are beating back continuous offers from developers who want the pastures bidding by the square foot rather than the acre which was the way we purchased it.

The land itself is worth more than all we spent on the horses, showing and related expenses. The oil and gas revenues went into savings.

[candyappy]

@clanter

The land itself is worth more than all we spent on the horses, showing and related expenses. The oil and gas revenues went into savings.

While your experience is not something most farm owners can ever hope to relate to, we who keep horses at home at least have the chance to recoup some cost ( if we ever choose to sell) when our property appreciates in value every year.

The farm we have here is now worth probably 4x ( or more) what it was purchased at and that is a good feeling.

[Bebe_Falcon1]

I’m just here to echo what everyone else has already said. I sold my heart horse of 14 years when I couldn’t keep up with the commitment (mostly time, partially budget being that we were on one salary at the time) when we started our family.

It killed me, and at the time I thought it would end my involvement with horses. How wrong was I?! Four years went by, and I ended up purchasing a miniature mare AND finding a wonderful gelding to part-board for my young daughter and I to ride. My cost per month is now about the same as it was 4 years ago as I keep the mini on outdoor board (at almost half the rate of a full size horse), and I actually have some time to myself to spend at the barn once again.

Look at this as being an opportunity disguised as a difficult decision, not an end to your involvement with horses

[IdahoRider]

I had to take two breaks. One was in my mid-20’s when I had a baby and just could not afford a horse, so I sold the mare I owned. Ten years later I purchased my big Steady Eddie gelding. But four years later I leased him out for a year long off site lease because I couldn’t afford him.

I never regretted either situation. I missed horses in general, but more than anything I was grateful that I had solutions in each case.
Sheilah

[noreins]

Our stories aren’t exactly the same, but they’re similar. For one thing, I didn’t have a choice - I was suddenly horseless when my beloved mare got suddenly, hopelessly sick and died over the course of a weekend. But I did not re-enter the horse world due to financial reasons - I couldn’t really afford the one I had, and I felt very guilty for a long time as I deeply grieved and missed my mare, but was also very relieved that I no longer had to figure out how to afford her.

Like you, I bought my horse when my expenses were low - no car payment, fresh promotion at a job, health insurance through my parents, and I was splitting rent with 4 other people. I also rented a dry stall at a local racing barn and my roommate and I worked together to do the feeds and stalls.

As time went on, the expenses accumulated - I lost some roommates, had to get a new car, had less energy for the daily barn work so moved her to a place with full care board. Slowly I started not being able to afford her and expenses started to go on credit cards. It took me 3.5 years after her death to finally dig myself out of the debt hole I put myself in, and like you I am finally seeing a future where my boyfriend and I can buy a house in the next couple of years and really build my future.

How do you stay involved? You likely have friends with horses - go to the barn with them, ask to groom their horses, ride if offered. Do some volunteer work for a therapeutic riding outfit or a rescue (though this may not be an option right now with COVID). When shows and events with spectators return, go watch the horse show for a day. Listen to horsey podcasts (I chose Heels Down Happy Hour, The Equiratings Eventing Podcast, and Major League Eventing). Stay in the conversation on COTH. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

But also don’t feel guilty if you want to completely set the horse world aside and find some new avenues. I really enjoy Zumba and Spin classes and the time I used to spend trail riding with my horse, I now hike with my dog. Take classes on things like painting, or coding, or pottery - things you could never justify if they took an afternoon away from your horse. Go on a vacation when you can! Take a weekend away with your husband! Heck, you can even go on a day trip somewhere.

I think the key is to remember that just because you don’t have a horse right now, it doesn’t mean that being a horse person is any less part of your identity. And you can come back to it later, no harm no foul. You can also choose to enjoy being horseless for as long as you wish. I will be honest with you - I don’t know if I’ll own a horse again. As much as I loved my horse, she was a very high responsibility animal in a way my dog just doesn’t compare. My boyfriend and I are planning to marry and discussing future goals, and we would have to be fairly well-off before I would feel comfortable sacrificing the money that could go to any number of shared dreams. I’ve thought about taking lessons again, but my partnership with my mare was so wonderful I don’t know if a casual weekly lesson jaunt will scratch the itch or just leave me hungry for more. I don’t know where my future lies in regards to horses, and I am finally becoming okay with that.

Your horse sounds like he has a remarkably soft landing and that is a gift to both of you. In one way I was lucky in that I didn’t need to worry about my mare’s future, but this sounds like as close to a great home as we’re ever guaranteed with horses and I strongly suggest you take it. I know when I was suddenly horseless, I felt like I was handed an opportunity to live another life that was closer to the one of the 20-something I was at the time. Look at this as an opportunity to do what you need to get your house in order, and enjoy some other experiences while you’re at it. If nothing else, you’ll come back to horses even hungrier than you were when you left.

I don’t regret anything about being so heavily involved in horses for the 19 years that I was, because I wouldn’t be the person I was today without them. But I’ve also discovered lovely things about myself that I never would have if I weren’t given the space to explore those.