I do love my GoPro. Yes I use it even riding indoors. If you are sharing an arena with someone who is just oh so important and skilled…that they HAVE TO just keep mowing people down (People who admittedly are not riding at the same level) then some video footage may help out. It is totally possible, that this person is just as irritated with the “slow” rider who keeps getting in their way. It is also possible that the other rider is just a JERK who had to rule the ring no matter what. You can review the footage after the fact and that should help you decide what is going on. ALSO you may find that a hot video camera is a fantastic deterrent. You can possibly find a cheaper used one on FB market place. But even brand new they are pretty affordable.
You may find that those who don’t allow themselves to be bullied don’t get bullied. There are always a few exceptions because not everyone is sane, but for the most part if you stand up for your rights the bully will back down.
For a while I boarded at a very fancy, very big (100+ horse) place. I was also returning to riding after the kids, and had a horse who was a spectacularly bad match for me. I had never been a particularly high level rider but after years off, the difference between me and the numerous FEI riders and trainers at that barn was, lets just say, pronounced. My horse terrified me half the time (oh, whom am i kidding, pretty much all the time - he was a dick), i came from a very small private barn without any formal rules so i wasn’t familiar with the arena etiquette, and i didn’t ride nearly as well as most people there. I spent hours and hours trying to get out of everyones way, not always successfully and what I heard most often was “don’t worry, you’re ok.” Pretty much everyone, with one notable exception, was kind, and there were a lot of high level riders doing complicated stuff all over arena at that barn.
I mean, I once almost ran over Darcy Drije because I just didn’t think. What i did was stupid and also a major rule violation that could have ended badly. I realized it right away but, as it goes with horses, it was too late to fix. I was so embarrassed i wanted to crawl into some hole and die. It’s been years and i still remember that feeling of my face being burning hot because i was just mortified. I was probably beet red. She couldn’t have been more gracious.
Your reiner dude is a dick, plain and simple.
smmm20, I am very sorry you had such a horrible experience. Honestly, that guy sounds like a major tool. If you are paying to ride there, yes, you have to learn the rules, but you also have every right to use that arena, and who died and made him the Arena God? You’re paying to do something that is supposed to be fun, not to have a barn bully belittle you and make you cry. There are always going to be people out there who feel like they are more entitled than the rest, but I hope you’ll be able to find a time to ride when that fathead isn’t in the ring.
How you remember the rules is how many h/j barns operate. And even in those environments, there’s always someone who is inconsiderate and tends to mow everyone down. I encountered one of these people regularly on schooling days at shows, and it was so stressful. I’ve known people who have had full on head on collisions. Totally unnecessary.
But I have now ridden at some dressage barns, and perhaps it applies most when the arena is small, but they want you walking off the rail. Yet lateral work takes priority. Do you have to guess does the other rider want the rail or are they going to all of a sudden need my space for another movement? It kind of drives me nuts too, and the riders I can’t seem to work around no matter what I do, I avoid. I have had a very difficult horse and sometimes a successful ride was just a nice walk without any charging, running backwards, rearing, striking at the fence or another horse, and I spent a long time trying to work through that period by trying to ride alone. But you can’t always anticipate when someone else wants to come in. Also been on some rehab horses who would explode if you passed too close only to have someone moving much faster try to stick to the rules only to come up the horse’s butt and set off a bomb that could have gotten us both in trouble. Like, use your eyes and your brain, people! A lot of riding is simple physics.
And when it is hard to be accommodating and a strict rule follower because of your own issues (whether it is you or your horse or both) and the fact you are slower moving, you need the other person to cut you some slack and give you some room. It’s not productive to their ride either for them to be a dick. And even if you ask for a little more space or extra consideration, it might not register with them. Its rude whether you are an experienced rider working on an issue or a beginner who just can’t steer well or doesn’t have good timing yet.
Well as someone who’s ridden in the warmup ring at Spruce Meadows (not the Grand Prix rings but still “international” riders”)… the rule has always been … left to left, and slower riders on the rail! This way when you’re both going in the same direction the person walking is always safely out of the way!
Honestly, he sounds rude! You did nothing wrong… When there’s just TWO people in the arena it’s not hard for the one doing faster work to look ahead and stay away from the person working at a slower pace! I plan accordingly and will circle etc so we don’t come close to each other! And, if the other person is in a lesson, then that person has “right of way” and I stay away from them even if it means I have to stop and wait until they’re finished their current exercise
As others have stated, OP, he was rude. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. It is hard enough to get back into riding without having people making you feel bad about using the arena that you pay good money to use.
Every discipline has their own accepted rules: slower riders on the rail, walkers in the middle, does lateral work have right of way, etc. There are no “international” rules, IME, as someone who has lived and ridden in several continents. Except maybe- don’t be an a**! Regardless of any rules, it is common courtesy for the more advanced horses/riders to be courteous of anyone younger/greener/in need of more leeway. If he wants you out of his way, he needs to tell you what he is doing, call his directions, or be very predictable in his movements. Your horse breaking to a walk or you not being able to read his mind is no reason to apologize.
Try not to be too embarrassed. We all have times when our emotions get the better of us, especially right now- it sounds like your barn mates were concerned about your being upset, not being judgemental. Keep riding, keep your chin up, and remember: you did nothing wrong.
No matter what, keep riding. Chances are you won’t run into him every day. Just keep trotting. Stay off the rail, and assume people will look out for you. You pay the same as everyone else for the right to be there.
Don’t confront him or call him an a$$hole, as some have suggested. It’s easy to think up snarky retorts on COTH, but really, better advice would be “don’t $hit where you eat.” I’m talking about the barn and the Uni. It’s not worth it. You’ll grow in strength and confidence.
Just remembered a fairly hysterical ride I had with one other person in the arena many years ago. We were very aware of each other, and yet for some inexplicable reason, at a WALK, we ran into each other. Our horses were like … wut??? … and it was so slow motion but it felt like we were powerless to change course. Afterwards we laughed and laughed, and it survived as a funny story at the barn for years.
@bathsheba8542, that’s funny!
I haven’t been in too many arenas or rings, but the ones local to me always have the pokey person hugging the rail and the person doing fancy stuff working closer to the center. But then again, I’m unfamiliar with “international rules.”
I wish OP would check in and let us know how it’s going. Her post resonated with me because in years past, my reaction would’ve likely mirrored hers. It’s taken me a lifetime to work constructively with my fundamental shyness, ease of crying and horror of (potential) confrontation. But! Thank goodness we do still learn and grow and are capable of change.
This…!!!
Maybe when you see him at work, walk serpentine down thed hall…those are the internationsl rules of the workplace 😊. Ok kidding
He was rude
Give me a name and I’ll find his university email address and email him from one of mine :lol::lol::lol: I’ve made better men cry.
Trying to get back to you after years off for kiddos is a nightmare, I’m right there with you.
I hate people who are jerks in the ring.
We think of crying as a weakness, when it is a reaction. IIWY, I would have just cried and cried right in his face, and let the bully see what his rudeness produced. Let him go home wondering how HE could have managed himself better in that situation.
Friend of mine and I had a lesson like that once. It was as if the horses has magnets in their middles - we kept finding ourselves in the same spot over and over.
Sounds like that guy needed to be on the receiving end of tongue lashing. I get the whole, keep the barn pleasant thing, but some people are just bullies. And bullies know who they can railroad and are all too eager to keep on with their tendencies. Perhaps he missed his “international lesson” on the concepts of SHARING.
Op, hugs to you. I have had those days where nothing but a good long cry over something small just happens and there’s no stopping it.
I’ve always been taught and experienced that if you are going to deviate from normal circles around the outside passing L shoulder to L shoulder and slower riders on rail, that you CALL OUT where you are going so people aren’t startled.
Something like calling out fences or corners so others know what to expect.
I think maybe talking to your BO about some quieter times to ride may be a great idea if your schedule is flexible at all. And I wouldn’t try to avoid that guy at work or I wouldn’t go out of my way to avoid him.
Bump with other COTHers have said here. Poor you. Must be something in the stars atm as my young mare got ‘monstered’ by barn owners’ ginormous fighting dog [from behind its fence] the other day. She took off - could’ve ended up as horsey Armagedden as the place was busy that day. Contacted the BO and she said ‘well if you don’t like it you can leave’. She was having a rough day I think. Anyhoo, upshot, another rider who used to own my horse, and knows the dog, is going to do some de-sensitisation training with us. Hugs all round. But that made me weepy until solved.
Look, I love everything about where I board. We have a jump sized outdoor and an indoor and everyone is friendly - mainly eventers and sj’s. But my heart does drop when I arrive to ride and there’s three of them on the outdoor jumping. My horse is fine in company, but it can be hard to concentrate. And to know where to fit yourself if you want to do quiet flatwork.
Does your barn have an arena booking system. Youcanbookme is free, you install on the barn website, or even a shared google calendar. Coming through Covid with only two people allowed on the property at once until recently, we all had to use these systems. It might be a good way of working around Biggus Dickus and his reining dreams. Just a thought. Don’t get me started on senior academics! They would eat their own young for advancement. ddx
Too bad one of us isn’t at your barn or close enough to come watch you ride when the jerk is riding. My German is pretty good. He’d be crying not you.
And don’t worry about crying. After years of not showing emotions in court, I broke down.in tears during closing argument in a case where a man killed his girlfriend’s young child and all the Atlanta tv stations were there and ran it on the evening news. Kinda embarrassing. Jurors were cool.
I would be willing to bet that this guy just doesn’t like immigrants. That is an international prejudice and there is little anyone can do about it.
Some male bullies seem to get even more angry and rude when women (or other men) cry.
If I could I would be right there ringside with @cloudyandcallie when you are riding – or riding on the rail with you – and spouting all the rude German comebacks I could at this bully.
First of all, this was one and only one time you got in another rider’s way (at least as he perceived it). How many of us have looked forward to riding (or a lesson) and had the ride spoiled by a pony kid/ beginner rider/ rider who was determined to jump ALL THE JUMPS HER WAY. Unless something genuinely dangerous occurred, I’m sure most of us didn’t have a complete meltdown at that other person.
The mature thing would have been to have discussed it with you in a friendly, professional manner afterward. It’s not like you’ve been screwing up his training schedule for weeks and weeks, riding at the same time, or that you posed a safety risk. It’s not like you ruined his chance to ride in the Olympics. I do realize that cultural differences may have been a factor in terms of bluntness, but don’t take his attitude as a reflection of your ability to regain your skills as a rider.
If anything, consider the fact that you care so much about riding and want to be considerate as a validation of your right to ride. I hate to say it, but there was one barn with one particular rider who made things very, very difficult not just for me but for everyone and what irked me the most wasn’t her skills (because God knows, I’m not the greatest rider myself) but the fact that she just didn’t seem to care that she was making other riders come to a screeching halt when they were working, and she’d get defensive if asked to be more aware of her surroundings rather than try to change.
