I think I want to board again

[ErinB]

Ever since I started keeping my horses at home (2 winters ago), I’ve just sort of been happy-unhappy-happy-unhappy about it. I was homeschooled the past 2 years so it wasn’t a problem that the horses were my whole life, but now that I’ll be going to school this year, I’m really having second thoughts about this (well, more like 18th thoughts).

So anyway as I posted on the “Do you prefer to board or DIY” thread, there’s a slightslight chance that my family and I might move to North Carolina. But that all depends on my dad being able to move there with his job or find a job there (which isn’t exactly impossible since his company is flexible), my mom agreeing to it as well as my sister (not impossible either if they see Asheville again- they love it), being able to sell our house, and stuff like that. And we couldn’t move until after January, anyway, but I HATE Florida and I want out. Anyway.

Part of the reason I want to move- besides the obvious fact that I hate FL and love NC- is so I can get away from the barn in my yard. Moving is an easy way to board my horse again, whereas my mom wouldn’t be too agreeable to me boarding when I have a brand new barn here.
But I really don’t like doing it myself and it’s going to be so hard to get up at 6, do the barn, get ready for school, come home from school, ride, do the barn again… I’m not going to have a lot of time to spend w/ my friends, that’s for sure, and I’ve missed so much of it with homeschooling that I want to salvage as much as I can. I realize horsekeeping is like parenting, but honestly I wasn’t planning kids for at least another decade, and I’m not enjoying being a “parent” before I have to do the real thing.

I don’t know what to do. I used to think I was such a horseperson, but is it so horrible to want some free time? To have ONE day this summer where I can sleep in like normal kids, and not to have a 5 PM curfew set by ME because I have horses to feed and stalls to muck? And while I’m at it, isn’t it natural to want some friends to ride with and share horsey responsibilites with?
Am I such a bad person because lately, I want my horses stall done by someone else sometimes so I’m not mucking 730 stalls annually?

I’m just so tied up about what to do. How do I break this to my mom? Some of you have kids; would you be too mad if your kid came up to you and said she wanted to keep her horse at [the least expensive she could find] a boarding barn, even though a barn was built not long ago?
My dad understands, he feels the same way about working around the farm. We both want to be farm-less again and may be again sometime, but in the meantime I don’t know if I can handle being alone and doing the barn myself too much longer.

PLEASE HELP, I don’t know what to do and I’m going crazy over this.

~*~
Funny Story of the Week:
My neighbor owns several cats. During a recent visit, she introduced them by name. "That’s Astrophe, that’s Erpillar, that’s Aract, that’s Alog.’ ‘Where on earth did you find those unusual names?’ I asked. ‘Oh, those are their last names,’ she explained. 'Their first names are Cat.
–Reader’s Digest

[ErinB]

Ever since I started keeping my horses at home (2 winters ago), I’ve just sort of been happy-unhappy-happy-unhappy about it. I was homeschooled the past 2 years so it wasn’t a problem that the horses were my whole life, but now that I’ll be going to school this year, I’m really having second thoughts about this (well, more like 18th thoughts).

So anyway as I posted on the “Do you prefer to board or DIY” thread, there’s a slightslight chance that my family and I might move to North Carolina. But that all depends on my dad being able to move there with his job or find a job there (which isn’t exactly impossible since his company is flexible), my mom agreeing to it as well as my sister (not impossible either if they see Asheville again- they love it), being able to sell our house, and stuff like that. And we couldn’t move until after January, anyway, but I HATE Florida and I want out. Anyway.

Part of the reason I want to move- besides the obvious fact that I hate FL and love NC- is so I can get away from the barn in my yard. Moving is an easy way to board my horse again, whereas my mom wouldn’t be too agreeable to me boarding when I have a brand new barn here.
But I really don’t like doing it myself and it’s going to be so hard to get up at 6, do the barn, get ready for school, come home from school, ride, do the barn again… I’m not going to have a lot of time to spend w/ my friends, that’s for sure, and I’ve missed so much of it with homeschooling that I want to salvage as much as I can. I realize horsekeeping is like parenting, but honestly I wasn’t planning kids for at least another decade, and I’m not enjoying being a “parent” before I have to do the real thing.

I don’t know what to do. I used to think I was such a horseperson, but is it so horrible to want some free time? To have ONE day this summer where I can sleep in like normal kids, and not to have a 5 PM curfew set by ME because I have horses to feed and stalls to muck? And while I’m at it, isn’t it natural to want some friends to ride with and share horsey responsibilites with?
Am I such a bad person because lately, I want my horses stall done by someone else sometimes so I’m not mucking 730 stalls annually?

I’m just so tied up about what to do. How do I break this to my mom? Some of you have kids; would you be too mad if your kid came up to you and said she wanted to keep her horse at [the least expensive she could find] a boarding barn, even though a barn was built not long ago?
My dad understands, he feels the same way about working around the farm. We both want to be farm-less again and may be again sometime, but in the meantime I don’t know if I can handle being alone and doing the barn myself too much longer.

PLEASE HELP, I don’t know what to do and I’m going crazy over this.

~*~
Funny Story of the Week:
My neighbor owns several cats. During a recent visit, she introduced them by name. "That’s Astrophe, that’s Erpillar, that’s Aract, that’s Alog.’ ‘Where on earth did you find those unusual names?’ I asked. ‘Oh, those are their last names,’ she explained. 'Their first names are Cat.
–Reader’s Digest

[Chef_Jade]

Why don’t you just get help?

Have someone feed and do stalls M-F or each evening. It isn’t too expensive, and if you live in a horse community, chances are that your neighbors have someone to help them that you could also employ. Cheaper than boarding, less grunt work, and its still easy to see your horses whenever you want!

[SLW]

Can you simplify your feeding /turnout routine at home? Are the horses turned out w/access to their stalls or simply stall kept? Do they need grain twice daily or is their weight and work load such that once daily grain would be possible and then leave out morning and evening hay rations? Is there a knowledgable friend nearby who would trade feeding chores with you- you do her mornings for a week and she/he does your evenings so that you get a mini-vacation? Would your mom take over a feeding shift if you were able to create a simplified one?

I do horse keep at home, and have pre-teen daughter who rides, and we could not afford to board her horse elsewhere and let our small barn sit empty- but that’s just our family and our $$$ situation.

It sounds like you need a break, certainly you want one, so think about ways to make the routine easier but without sacrificing the horses care.

SLW

[KellyS]

Be careful what you wish for!

From the time I got my first horse at 12 until I was 18 and moved up north to go to college, I had my horses at home. We had a cute little barn, little arena, and pasture. My parents are absolutely non-horsey people and basically said that I was completely responsible for the horses. For those six years, I did all the barn chores everyday and arranged for help when my family was out of town. I ended with my own horse and two boarders which covered all my horsey expenses including showing.

Well, when I moved up to PA and finally kept my horse at a boarding barn, I’d though I had died and gone to heaven. No more early mornings (except for shows), no stall cleaning, no pasture mowing or trough cleaning. However, now after four years of school, I terribly miss having my horse at home. No matter what barn you are at, it never seems as if they take as good care of you horse as you did. For me, there was something very relaxing about feeding in the early morning and doing the stalls, turning out, and leaving the barn pristine. Now, fortunately I am managing a small, private farm where the horse I compete stays (my own horse lives at my college). Once again, I have the opportunities and responsibilities I was so eager to be rid of a few years ago.

My greatest dream now is having a farm of my own in the future. Nothing big, just someplace where I can look out the window and know my horses are content. That’s not to much to ask for, is it?

Good luck with the decisions you make. And enjoy having your guys at home while you can.

[JustJumpIt19]

I say you go to NC and give me your place in FL and I move my horses in! I love FL :0)

Courtney
I ride, therefore I am.

[UndeniedGirl]

As a fellow teenager with a huge social life to deal with, I know how you feel.

I keep three horses at home, and probably soon four, six if I move to the house we are looking at. I dont currently have a barn, but when i did, it was actually easier than with no barn. I did all my chores in the mrning, fed, then did water buckets, turned out, hayed, cleaned stalls, and got everything ready for evening, so they only had to be lead in the stall. This way, if i wasnt home, anyone could lead them in. It was alot of work, i wont argue that, but it can be done.

But on the other hand, keeping horses at home isnt something everyone enjoys, and if you dont like it, and are planing on reducing to one horse, it will be be ok either way, b/c if you keep them at home, your work is reduced a ton, but if you board them out, just one horse isnt going to be anymore expensive than keeping up a farm, and alot easier! Good luck! Cass

Life is like a jumper course, the best time wins!

[baymare]

After years of boarding and working in barns where I took care of other peoples’ horses, I find having my little herd at home is heaven. But that’s me, and I am a certified Old F*rt. I no longer wish for the social atmosphere of a big barn; my barn is my private therapy retreat. At your youthful state, it is normal and healthy to want to be part of the scene at a boarding barn. It is probably even safer–more supervision for schooling, etc. That would be a good card to play to your parents if you think they would object to your desire to board.

Do your parents feel you are backing down from a commitment by wanting to board? 'Cause there are sure plenty of ways to demonstrate that commitment at a boarding barn-- earning board by helping with chores, grooming, hacking, etc. Don’t torture yourself about this. Riding and horses are supposed to be fun, and when the stress of a situation like yours enters in to it, the fun goes right down the drain. And you are far more likely to be driven to disillusionment and loss of interest by your current situation than by boarding. And you know what? Nothing is written in stone here- if it doesn’t work out, you can change it! Maybe you could establish some kind of trial agreement with your parents…

Sorry to babble on, but I sympathize with your situation. DON’T beat yourself up over this, what you are feeling is not only normal, but sensible. Good luck.

[Won2Keep]

It does not mean that you would be less of a horse person to board your horses. You might actually concentrate more on riding and grooming since you don’t have to shovel poop!

Have you though about reducing your herd? 3 horses is a lot! Minis are just as much upkeep as the big guys. Maybe get down to just Griffen? The work load would be so much less. If you board out Griffen, would you still have to take care of the other two at home? That would be a lot.

I got down to two for five days this past week and I did not know what to do with myself. I was actually bored at night. So, I bought another!

Even if you got rid of one, I think that it would be a lot easier. Good Luck with whatever you decide. And one more thing…Florida takes a very long time to get used to. I have lived here for 5 years and just beginning to think it is okay, but for the first four and one half years, I hated it too!

[AAJumper]

Could you possibly find a barn where you could work off some or all of the board bill? I have always boarded, but I started off as a poor college student. I worked off everything…groomed for lessons and cleaning a few stalls and fed every Sunday night for board. Yes, I had to feed 35-40 horses, but it was only one night per week, leaving my other time free. Also, if you could do maybe 5 stalls a couple of times a week, you are still doing the work but it can be a bigger block of time less frequently.

[Cactuskate]

I think everyone has the right to change their mind. Sometimes we realize things a little too late though.

I have to believe that your current barn decision came at some expense to your parents. And I would feel a bit miffed if now you didn’t like it after all. But rather than totally abandon your horse at home, how about a creative solution. Is there a “dying to be around horses” friend or neighbor? Maybe you could do a trade of chores for time spent with horses. I know when I was a teen ager I had little or no access to horses. I would have been thrilled just to be able to be around them smelling them. I would have done chores of any type.

So maybe by realigning your horse’s needs and making your schedule as flexible as possible, you will come back to being happy at home. And I wouldn’t hesitate to ask for some help.

“The older I get, the better I used to be.”

[ErinB]

Well, I talked to my dad again today and like I said, he agrees with me. It’s looking likely that we’ll start actively house hunting up in NC within a few months. I’ll keep you posted.
Won2Keep, I’ve lived in FL since I was 9! 7 years… I’ve paid my dues! Still haven’t found myself liking this place, and seeing as there’s 49 other states to choose from, why be miserable?

I’m thinking of selling Hopper ( ) and giving the mini back, and then boarding out Griffen. My dad isn’t against the idea and my mom would go for it, too, so I’ll see what happens. First I’ll have to get rid of Hopper (which I’d HATE to do), and she’s been lame since February so I might end up giving her away. I’m not sure what to do with her.
Then I’ll have to find a place to board that isn’t priced outrageously and has a place to ride and such- and isn’t too far from my house or my trainer.

~*~
Funny Story of the Week:
My neighbor owns several cats. During a recent visit, she introduced them by name. "That’s Astrophe, that’s Erpillar, that’s Aract, that’s Alog.’ ‘Where on earth did you find those unusual names?’ I asked. ‘Oh, those are their last names,’ she explained. 'Their first names are Cat.
–Reader’s Digest

[Musical_Jumper]

ErinB, im a fellow teenager, so i hope that maybe i can give you my take on your situation…

I own two geldings, an OTTB Seger and a paint Thunder… i am the only one in my family or even in the surrounding five miles that rides… i am the one that cares for them, i do morning/evening feedings, stalls, tack cleaning, grooming, worming, vet calls, ect, ect, ect… anyways, i also am in High School (junior this year) and i am activly involved in Marching/Concert Band and Future Farmers of America… no, i do not play sports, but with FFA practice almost every evening it is enough…

I understand about wanting to have a “normal” life… hanging with friends, going out with the gurls, going to sports events… iknow all that… I have many many times been out with my bf and told him i had to get home b/c i had feedings to do… and im lucky enough to have friends that know that my horses are THE MOST important thing in my life (yes, even my bf is comfortable with that) I know how frustrating it can be to miss a night out with your friends b/c you need to clean stalls, trust me, i understand how much you hate to be the only responsible person in your ring of friends !!! But here is my look on things, and this is only my opinion… i shall try not to seem snobbish or rude…

These wonderful animals are dependant on us, in my case if im sick it doesn’ matter, i am the one to go out and feed or my horses go hungry that day… thus, i tell myself that it isn;t the horse’s problem that im ill, tired, bummed out after a bad day, or anything else… so why put my own life problems in front of thier care ??? they work thier hardest for me in every ride, and im sure there are d ays when they don;t want to be saddled, but they do it anyways… so why is it fair when i would rather be hanging with my friends than feeding or cleaning stalls that i can just dismiss it and puut it off ???

These wonderful beasts will throw themselves off a cliff for me, and if that means that i may not have a “normal” life to repay them. then hell, i beleive it’s the least i can do…

Hey, think of having your horses this way… out of my entire school there is two riders…now, i don’t know how thing sare at your school, but i know alot of guys/gurls could never do what we equestrians do !!! I know for a fact that half of those burly guys on the football team would never get on my “huge” 16hh Seger, or even dare to take my 14.1hh Paint over some of the “scary” X-Country jumps we’ve gotten pictures of… so for that, alot of people think it’s kinda kewl that i ride… ( and guys, at least my bf, LOVE that i wear breeches )

Hope i have given you some infor that can help you think this through, and i thought you could use a fellow teenager’s advice…

M_J
“don;t let your horse frustrate you, we have men to do that”