Inappropriate Cat Affection AKA telling Willis "no means no"

[jen-s]

My Finnegan does the “stompey stompey hip thrust” move. When I go to bed at night, he’ll bring a toy to bed (almost always a crinkle ball), hold the ball in his mouth, and knead my legs with his front paws. He turns in a circle and eventually, the hip thrusting commences. It took me quite a while to catch on. He MUST be standing on top of my legs and he always rotates in a circle. He was neutered at 21 days by a rescue in Michigan before coming south to be adopted. He’s now almost 5 and still does it occasionally.

Here’s video. It’s public. Please ignore the messy bedroom. I was recovering from surgery and my house was a disaster.

[Seagram]

Cats just do this, it doesn’t really mean anything except that it feels good to them. If you want to train them to stop, spray bottle is the best way. I also have a young spayed female that still sucks on her 'uncle’s (older cat she was raised with) leg, as if she was nursing. They are all spayed and neutered, they just have cat behavior.

[mvp]

[QUOTE=jen-s;9022194]
My Finnegan does the “stompey stompey hip thrust” move.

Here’s video. [/QUOTE]

He’s pretty subtle.

So much about this thread makes me think of the Seinfeld episode, “With a swirl at the end.”

[mvp]

[QUOTE=Seagram;9022231]
Cats just do this, it doesn’t really mean anything except that it feels good to them… They are all spayed and neutered, they just have cat behavior.[/QUOTE]

That’s true. Cats are innocent of our cultural baggage about sex. But that doesn’t mean it’s not sexual behavior on their part. And really, if sex didn’t feel good, most species would be in deep, deep doo-doo.

[RPM]

Originally posted by RJC:

This might be like the counter surfing problem where I think I’m making no headway and just beating up the cat every day, then suddenly the problem disappears. He’s quite hard headed and I constantly underestimate how much “abuse” is required to make get my point across. I never ever make contact with the dog to scold her. Verbal reprimands get the point across. You can literally punt Willis across the room and he’ll immediately head back for more.

:eek: You are joking, right?

Right?

[CanadianTrotter]

[QUOTE=RPM;9022301]
:eek: You are joking, right?

Right? [/QUOTE]

No, I think she’s beating the living crap outta her cat!!!

[RJC]

Thanks, mvp. Your cat advice posts are always spot on. I’ve been holding firm on the “no sex zone” rules and it’s actually improving now that the blanket is gone and I’m tuned in to his shenanigans.

RPM- I can see how that would read without knowing me. I promise, I don’t really abuse my animals. I have quite a few in my care, and (save the outside feral cats I can’t get near) everyone is in good weight and coat, well socialized, and well trained (with the exception of Willis, who is getting more civilized the longer he’s inside). The portion you quoted was in reference to my Willis counter surfing thread, in which I had to be convinced to use stronger aids to tell Willis “no”, because clapping, yelling, and chasing him didn’t mean much (spray bottle works but only if it’s in my hand, obviously). When I sit and don’t want a humpy cat in my lap, I imagine an invisible barrier around me. When he crosses my barrier I put out a flat hand so he “runs into a wall” and tell him no. As he keeps trying to get in my lap, the open hand bonks get stronger and pushier. If he really is not respecting my space, he gets pushed off the couch with a hand on his chest. If that still doesn’t work, he gets tossed. It barely phases him. I’m very reluctant to use force with animals, ever, so to me, it feels like I’m “abusing” him.

[CanadianTrotter]

[QUOTE=mvp;9022292]
He’s pretty subtle.

So much about this thread makes me think of the Seinfeld episode, “With a swirl at the end.”[/QUOTE]

But only if he’s “sponge worthy”. :lol:

[RJC]

I’m glad I’m not alone! Since I had never run into a cat that did this, I didn’t know how common it is. We’ll see how Willis does the next couple months and then what the vet says.

[CanadianTrotter]

[QUOTE=RJC;9021234]

This might be like the counter surfing problem where I think I’m making no headway and just beating up the cat every day, then suddenly the problem disappears. He’s quite hard headed and I constantly underestimate how much “abuse” is required to make get my point across. I never ever make contact with the dog to scold her. Verbal reprimands get the point across. You can literally punt Willis across the room and he’ll immediately head back for more.[/QUOTE]

I think that the “coming back for more” is a male cat thing. I know with any of my males that if I send them away(scream, holler, throw things at them, punt them across the room, kick them them down the stairs, put in my homemade trebuchet) doing something wrong they need reassurance afterwards that they’re still in the circle of trust. Even after they get squirted they come right back with a look of, “Now why would you do that?, you hurt my feelers!”

Funnily enough I have been told by several vets and skads of cat owners that female cats are not as affectionate as males. I personally prefer males in every type of animal, I just like their personalities and attitudes more(they’re big sucks!) and I have always found female cats to be sneaky.

With some trepidation I have rescued two females, one a Torbie and the other a red cat. Both of these girls are extremely and over abundantly, in your face affectionate.

[CanadianTrotter]

[QUOTE=RJC;9022403]
Thanks, mvp. Your cat advice posts are always spot on. I’ve been holding firm on the “no sex zone” rules and it’s actually improving now that the blanket is gone and I’m tuned in to his shenanigans.

RPM- I can see how that would read without knowing me. I promise, I don’t really abuse my animals. I have quite a few in my care, and (save the outside feral cats I can’t get near) everyone is in good weight and coat, well socialized, and well trained (with the exception of Willis, who is getting more civilized the longer he’s inside). The portion you quoted was in reference to my Willis counter surfing thread, in which I had to be convinced to use stronger aids to tell Willis “no”, because clapping, yelling, and chasing him didn’t mean much (spray bottle works but only if it’s in my hand, obviously). When I sit and don’t want a humpy cat in my lap, I imagine an invisible barrier around me. When he crosses my barrier I put out a flat hand so he “runs into a wall” and tell him no. As he keeps trying to get in my lap, the open hand bonks get stronger and pushier. If he really is not respecting my space, he gets pushed off the couch with a hand on his chest. If that still doesn’t work, he gets tossed. It barely phases him. I’m very reluctant to use force with animals, ever, so to me, it feels like I’m “abusing” him.[/QUOTE]

Lol…you would never last with my Ralphie! When I tell him to move he either turns around with a “why?or make me” look or if he’s on my lap he’ll flip onto his back and go limp as a wet noodle, thinking “If she wants me to move she’s gonna have to work for it!”. If I do end up tossing him, instead of blowing raspberries on his belly(which he adores!) he’ll flip on his back and start rolling around then promptly sit at attention and yowl his, “I want tuna!” Meow.

I am owned by my ginger man. :o

[vxf111]

Although the acts of sex are not unpleasurable to a cat, cats have sex because of hormones/the drive to reproduce. So it is worth checking out whether a cat who is displaying sexual behavior (some of what has been described is not sexual behavior) is worth getting checked out to see if there’s a hormonal reason.

[mvp]

[QUOTE=CanadianTrotter;9022402]
No, I think she’s beating the living crap outta her cat!!![/QUOTE]

I can’t tell if you guys are seriously critical of this cat training technique, but I assure you: No cat (who is loose) is allowing anyone to beat the crap out of them. It just isn’t done. They really aren’t that stupid.

They do, however, get to make their own cost/benefit analysis when considering the thing they want vs. the level of corporal violence that follows.

[RJC]

Guys, I am seriously not beating the crap out of my cat. I have never beat the crap out of anything in my life. For many years I refused to take any contact on a horse’s mouth because I didn’t want to hurt them, to the detriment of my riding and their training. I cried and was horrified when a close friend punished his 70lb dog by picking her up by the scruff and throwing her on her back. I am FAR more likely to be walked over by an animal than I am to cause them physical harm.

The moment Willis stops trying to make moves in my lap and lays next to me on the couch, he gets pets and cuddles. He comes when I call though I’ve never used food rewards for this. I have a good relationship with this cat.

I’m the type of person who will say that I was yelled at if someone speaks firmly to me. Willis bashes into things harder when playing than when I set his boundaries. I am not actually abusing the cat. I was being facetious and speaking from a place of my own perception, not objectively.

[vxf111]

I would just make him get off you/the couch. I think that’s the easiest and best way to handle it. He starts doing behavior you don’t want, he has to get down.

[mvp]

[QUOTE=vxf111;9022857]
I would just make him get off you/the couch. I think that’s the easiest and best way to handle it. He starts doing behavior you don’t want, he has to get down.[/QUOTE]

Absolutely. Willis should not get what he wants every.single.time he makes a bid.

It can be surprising just how much determination and stamina a cat has. Then again, they are unemployed, so they have.all.day. to spend trying to get what they want.

I know that I had been surprised and annoyed by my strong-willed female cat (mentioned above) who insisted on picking a Jerry Springer-style fight with the other docile foster cat in the middle of the night. Frankly, I wanted her trained not to do that faster, rather than slower. Personally, I think that politely removing her was not enough of a disincentive… for her taste… and therefore, for my taste.

BTW, this strong-willed cat was the Kitten Momma of those Trust Fund Kittens. You guys will remember how autonomous they were. Some cats are big and adult… even when they weigh less than 2 pounds.

[HannahsMom7]

I believe this is normal cat behavior. I think there was a thread on this behavior not that long ago. Many folks posted saying yes my cat does this!

[CanadianTrotter]

[QUOTE=RJC;9022800]
Guys, I am seriously not beating the crap out of my cat. I have never beat the crap out of anything in my life. For many years I refused to take any contact on a horse’s mouth because I didn’t want to hurt them, to the detriment of my riding and their training. I cried and was horrified when a close friend punished his 70lb dog by picking her up by the scruff and throwing her on her back. I am FAR more likely to be walked over by an animal than I am to cause them physical harm.

The moment Willis stops trying to make moves in my lap and lays next to me on the couch, he gets pets and cuddles. He comes when I call though I’ve never used food rewards for this. I have a good relationship with this cat.

I’m the type of person who will say that I was yelled at if someone speaks firmly to me. Willis bashes into things harder when playing than when I set his boundaries. I am not actually abusing the cat. I was being facetious and speaking from a place of my own perception, not objectively.[/QUOTE]

I did not in any way think you were being abusive towards your cat.

I was being sarcastic towards someone actually asking you if you were serious and thinking that you were abusing your cat.

I can tell from your words and from your video that you have a very good relationship with your cat.

[CanadianTrotter]

[QUOTE=mvp;9022597]
I can’t tell if you guys are seriously critical of this cat training technique, but I assure you: No cat (who is loose) is allowing anyone to beat the crap out of them. It just isn’t done. They really aren’t that stupid.

They do, however, get to make their own cost/benefit analysis when considering the thing they want vs. the level of corporal violence that follows.[/QUOTE]

No, I was being sarcastic towards those that do question your funny, tongue in cheek cat stories…which I enjoy.

[RJC]

Ohhh, sorry then CanadianTrotter. I was being fragile

https://youtu.be/7o4aGpKgou8

This is Willis last night deciding that I was not his nighttime lady friend, but rather his cuddle buddy. He was snuggly and lovely for about an hour. Then I got up to do some chores, and later he was back to trying to make me his lady in the nighttime. Ah well. I got some cat cuddles in at least.