Inappropriate Cat Affection AKA telling Willis "no means no"

[RJC]

I find this upsetting.

Last week I bought myself a super soft, fuzzy blanket because my house is old and I’m often cold while on the couch.

While under my new blanket, I noticed that Willis (who was fixed in November and does not have a known age, but lived wild for some amount of time) had been kneading my lap for an oddly long time. Then I noticed he was squatting weirdly. Then I realized he was humping me/the blanket. I had never seen a cat do this before and the “stance” was different enough from a dog that I didn’t catch it right away. Gently pushing him away made him whip his head around and yell in my face, so kitty got tossed, then needed to be bopped in the face pretty hard several time before he stopped trying to continue.

We’ve had several such discussions over the next few days when the blanket was on my lap. Willis was given firm boundaries, but I couldn’t let him be anywhere near me while I was under the blanket. I walked in on him having “alone time” with the blanket one evening, and the blanket went into the laundry to be washed and then kept upstairs where there are no cats. Problem solved.

Except Willis started trying his shenanigans again on me… without a blanket. So my cat is just assaulting me anytime I pet him on the furniture or just let him crawl into my lap. I tell him “no” and make him stop and go away. If I try to pet him again later, that’s apparently a sign to him that he can try moves again. So I can’t pet my cat right now and all the joy of cat ownership and cuddly fuzzy snuggle buddies is gone and I feel oddly violated.

Help :no:

[vxf111]

Are they SURE he wasn’t a cryptorchid and that they fully neutered him?!

[RJC]

I’m sure of nothing. I took him to a low cost, high volume spay clinic. There were no notes with his discharge. I can see his still shaved kitty scrotum and there’s room for two.

[vxf111]

That’s exactly what my ragdoll did when his first neuter was incomplete

[RPM]

:lol::lol:

Sorry. I really am sorry this is happening to you. Inappropriate cat behavior causing loss of fuzzy snuggles and petting definitely deserves scolding. No wonder you feel violated – forget missing snuggling with Willis!

If you can afford it, take him to a real vet and ask them about this. Hopefully there is at least one near you who will be willing to set up a payment plan (there is one near me).

And be glad that, if they missed a bit, that is all they did. A friend of mine took her two kitties to a low-cost clinic for vaccinations and one got a horrible infection that nearly killed him and did put him in the hospital.

Jingling for you and Willis.

[CanadianTrotter]

[QUOTE=RJC;9020930]
I’m sure of nothing. I took him to a low cost, high volume spay clinic. There were no notes with his discharge. I can see his still shaved kitty scrotum and there’s room for two.[/QUOTE]

:lol::lol::lol:

I’m sorry I laughed, but I’ve been in your position twice in the past and I laughed it off when it was over.

First time was with a young male that had been abandoned and roaming. Most likely he had a bit of time to at least to try to sow his wild oats before I had him neutered. He was laying on the back of the couch behind a friend, he started kneading friends head/hair, friend said, “Oh a scalp massage, how nice!”, cat promptly went into full head humping motion. Then he started humping anything soft that stood still.

Second time was a young female, spayed ASAP. She still went into a mock heat shortly after the operation.

Both times my vets informed me before I brought the cats home that some cats will still feel sexual urges for 3-4 months after surgery. I wouldn’t be hasty in taking your guy back to a vet until after at least 4 months to see if the urges disappear. If they don’t after the 4 months then it could be a botched surgery like the others have said.

Have a squirt bottle at hand, clap your hands, make a loud noise, etc…, each time he does it so that it doesn’t become habit forming if it is just a matter of waiting for the urges to go away.

[Rackonteur]

A long time ago I had a cat whom I had neutered right after he turned a year old. Several months later some neighbors of mine told me that they were afraid their cat was pregnant. They blamed my cat. I told them no way, he’d been neutered.

Apparently he’d never noticed.

I have a kitty who loves to knead our fuzzy fleece blankets when I am under one of them. I’m glad that’s as far as she goes! :lol:

[jetsmom]

[QUOTE=RJC;9020912]
I find this upsetting.

Last week I bought myself a super soft, fuzzy blanket because my house is old and I’m often cold while on the couch.

While under my new blanket, I noticed that Willis (who was fixed in November and does not have a known age, but lived wild for some amount of time) had been kneading my lap for an oddly long time. Then I noticed he was squatting weirdly. Then I realized he was humping me/the blanket. I had never seen a cat do this before and the “stance” was different enough from a dog that I didn’t catch it right away. Gently pushing him away made him whip his head around and yell in my face, so kitty got tossed, then needed to be bopped in the face pretty hard several time before he stopped trying to continue.

We’ve had several such discussions over the next few days when the blanket was on my lap. Willis was given firm boundaries, but I couldn’t let him be anywhere near me while I was under the blanket. I walked in on him having “alone time” with the blanket one evening, and the blanket went into the laundry to be washed and then kept upstairs where there are no cats. Problem solved.

Except Willis started trying his shenanigans again on me… without a blanket. So my cat is just assaulting me anytime I pet him on the furniture or just let him crawl into my lap. I tell him “no” and make him stop and go away. If I try to pet him again later, that’s apparently a sign to him that he can try moves again. So I can’t pet my cat right now and all the joy of cat ownership and cuddly fuzzy snuggle buddies is gone and I feel oddly violated.

Help :no:[/QUOTE]

Weren’t there some signs at the women’s march that said “pussy grabs back”? Well THERE you go!!!

[cnvh]

OP, I’m terribly sorry but I literally LOL’ed while reading this…

Now you have me paranoid… My little roadside kitten also has a particular affinity for my fuzzy fleece blanket under which I enjoy curling up on the couch. He’s about 9 months old, I got him neutered back in September, so there shouldn’t be any residual shenanigans. So far I don’t THINK he’s been humping the blanket, but he gets REALLY into kneading it and sucking on the fabric while he does so. I’ve thought it’s cute, but now I’m going to be on the lookout for more amorous intentions. :eek:

[vxf111]

[QUOTE=cnvh;9021162]
OP, I’m terribly sorry but I literally LOL’ed while reading this…

Now you have me paranoid… My little roadside kitten also has a particular affinity for my fuzzy fleece blanket under which I enjoy curling up on the couch. He’s about 9 months old, I got him neutered back in September, so there shouldn’t be any residual shenanigans. So far I don’t THINK he’s been humping the blanket, but he gets REALLY into kneading it and sucking on the fabric while he does so. I’ve thought it’s cute, but now I’m going to be on the lookout for more amorous intentions. :eek:[/QUOTE]

That’s more like early weaned cat behavior

[RJC]

Thanks, everyone, for finding the humor in the situation. I thought it was funny when it was just the blanket. It’s became less funny when it became me!

I can definitely afford to take Willis to our real vet (the practice that sees our dog and horse is just down the road). I originally took him to the spay clinic because we went from supporting 0 to 6 cats very rapidly, and the $360 my usual practice quoted me for bringing Willis up to snuff felt steep, particularly for a random cat I caught in a raccoon trap that wasn’t supposed to ever live in the house :rolleyes:. I was planning to bring him in with the dog for wellness visits when she’s due in March, which would put us to the 4th month mark after his surgery.

I guess I’ll wait and see now that I know it takes 3-4 months for all the hormones to disperse. Last night Willis eventually did jump into my lap and immediately lay down for pets and snuggles and it was nice to have our innocence back.

This might be like the counter surfing problem where I think I’m making no headway and just beating up the cat every day, then suddenly the problem disappears. He’s quite hard headed and I constantly underestimate how much “abuse” is required to make get my point across. I never ever make contact with the dog to scold her. Verbal reprimands get the point across. You can literally punt Willis across the room and he’ll immediately head back for more.

[vxf111]

It can’t hurt to wait. All that will happen in the meantime is continued blanket violations It won’t medically hurt Willis to wait a few months. It just might be unpleasant.

But if he has a retained testicle, it most likely does need to come out for medical reasons, eventually.

My cat Crosby was neutered before I got him. Then they started discovering him “doing the deed” with pillows. Took him back and lo and behold, he was a cryptorchid and they left one testicle behind. That can be dangerous, long term, plus the pillows were feeling very violated so it had to come out. That was abdominal surgery and more expensive than a typical neuter. After that second neuter, his behavior returned to normal.

In some ways, it wasn’t so bad. He’s a purebred cat and got the lovely male secondary sex characteristics because he had the hormones longer (larger size, jowls, big ruff) so he’s handsome. But I think it was a PITA for his former owner due to his behavior.

This is different behavior than suckling, which cats might also do to a pillow/blanket. When cats are weaned to early, they can continue to display suckling behavior. Kneading and grabbing the blanket to suck isn’t a sexual behavior, it’s suckling. That’s unrelated behavior.

[cnvh]

[QUOTE=vxf111;9021167]
That’s more like early weaned cat behavior[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I found mine alongside of his just-deceased mama next to a busy road, I’m guessing he was about 5 weeks old. So that makes logical sense.

Thankfully he only does this with one particular blanket.

[CanadianTrotter]

[QUOTE=cnvh;9021162]
OP, I’m terribly sorry but I literally LOL’ed while reading this…

Now you have me paranoid… My little roadside kitten also has a particular affinity for my fuzzy fleece blanket under which I enjoy curling up on the couch. He’s about 9 months old, I got him neutered back in September, so there shouldn’t be any residual shenanigans. So far I don’t THINK he’s been humping the blanket, but he gets REALLY into kneading it and sucking on the fabric while he does so. I’ve thought it’s cute, but now I’m going to be on the lookout for more amorous intentions. :eek:[/QUOTE]

My Rotten Ralph has looked at me with love in his eyes and sh*t in his pants for six years…but it has never progressed beyond first base!

[CanadianTrotter]

[QUOTE=cnvh;9021335]
Yeah, I found mine alongside of his just-deceased mama next to a busy road, I’m guessing he was about 5 weeks old. So that makes logical sense.

Thankfully he only does this with one particular blanket. :)[/QUOTE]

He will most likely stop sucking eventually. I know a few that mostly gave it up but still do it once in awhile.

My Ella wasn’t weaned properly, her mum and siblings all died under my last house. She doesn’t suck but will grab and hug my neck with her front paws while pushing her face into mine. She doesn’t suck but excretes an amazing amount of sticky kitty drool all over me.

[Zu_Zu]

• HIGH ALERT *

CT - please remove me from the next in line for ‘Rotten Ralph’ ownership

If / when

you twerk yourself ‘over the raInbOw bridge’ !

TIA - please get me off that damn list today !

I still wish to remain FIRST IN LINE FOR. BUMMY !

[CanadianTrotter]

[QUOTE=Zu Zu;9021357]

• HIGH ALERT *

CT - please remove me from the next in line for ‘Rotten Ralph’ ownership

If / when

you twerk yourself ‘over the raInbOw bridge’ !

TIA - please get me off that damn list today !

I still wish to remain FIRST IN LINE FOR. BUMMY ![/QUOTE]

Awwwww…Aunty Zu Zu!!!

It’s only first base, it’s only affectionate Nutter Butter Kisses!

Ralphie is a gentleman after all…he would never go past first base!

Bummy says, “You’re silly!”

He’s also making the noise of a paper towel being torn off the roll and it sounds like he’s farting!

So if I kick the bucket tomorrow you get a kissing cat and a farting bird!

[Zu_Zu]

Thank you so much ~ I’m honored and will do my best to take excellent care of R & ?B.

[Zu_Zu]

Adding there is no reason for the stupid ? ^ in my above post … I did not go that - magically appears
And unfortunately I can’t edit quote nor use icons
sorry

[mvp]

Willis! Breaking social boundaries again. I’m starting to like him… though I am (perhaps inappropriately) creeped out as the OP is.

I would look for an extra ball all hiding up in there. Wouldn’t that be par for the course for this cat? And Holy Wallet Hole, I can’t see why neutering a cat (whose balls are sitting right out there… just apparently ready to get plucked off like a pair of blueberries) should cost so much! It’s not like you need to go inside the cat with your pinky, as with the ladies.

But about a solution: OP, I believe that cats can learn to discriminate between situations like,say, a Strip Club and the Supreme Court. One does not behave the same way in each venue. And stallions can be taught the difference, so I think cats can, too.

I think a bit of blitzkrieg discipline can work here. Make the consequences of even thinking about sex… not at all sexy for him. To me, that’s a harsh and firm NO, plus being removed from the situation, post haste. It’s OK to be a bit ferocious with a strong-egoed cat like young Willis, so long as he is allowed time to think about his contribution to the sh!tstorm right after it has stopped. This is the place where kitteh gets to choose how his life goes for himself. He just needs to know that trying to date his human mamma really, really is no fun. If you tell him no too gently, you just haven’t made it “no fun” enough and, it stands to reason, he’ll try to improve his technique so that next time your No will mean Yes (eye roll).

I have done similar recently with a strong-willed female cat who was being quite territorial about her place (that she just got to 60 days ago) toward a shy foster cat who is in another room. Not saying which cat is right or wrong, but going to pick a fight that could have been avoided is unacceptable to me. Me merely saying No didn’t have much substance to it. Kitteh thought I was suggesting that she stop growling; I wasn’t a big influence in her life. But when that No was followed up by being scuffed and thrown outside to cool off, my words acquired more meaning for her. Also, she did slow her mind down out there and was peaceful again when she came in. I behaved similarly, with my emotional meter being back at zero. The point of this last step is to confirm to kitteh that he/she really has a great deal of control over me. If they behave this way or that, they earn this or that from me in a predictable way.