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Is It My Job?

I have read this post two or three times, trying to spot where your boarder has been upset by anything previously that would warrant such a passive aggressive or accusatory “I draw the line at xyz/is it MY job?!” attitude from you, OP. That seems wildly unfair. If I was in the position of this young woman and got an accusatory & curt line about expectations, I would be really hurt.

Why borrow trouble here? Just send her a text and remind her that she’s the only one lessoning and if she wants to jump, the jumps will need to be set. What if she asks you for help? Are you going to be this nasty to her, IRL?

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Upon further thought, perhaps the boarder thinks that she is not allowed to set up or move jumps. Or she is waiting for an offer to guide her if she has not done this before.

I have boarded at places where that was the case. Owner/trainer were the only people allowed to alter things in the arenas. And forget about jumping on the owner’s tractor and dragging an arena on your own.

I am still confused by the OP owner / boarder relationship going on in this particular post.

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For all you know, her perspective is that the line has been drawn by you that you don’t want her setting jumps :wink:

Now is the time to just say “hey, I’ve been setting jumps because I’ve been participating in the lessons and it’s something I just wanted to do. I’m not participating tomorrow, so let Trainer know that you and/or she will need to set jumps”

Her lesson time is between her and her trainer. It’s her job now to communicate with the trainer.

If you want to continue setting stuff up when you’re going to be riding, let her know, and also let her know you will make sure she knows in advance when she will need to do it. If you want to alternate who does it when you’re both taking a lesson, lay that out.

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I would be concerned about your passive aggressive approach that you are already assuming she is expecting you to wait on her more so than I would be about your boarder. Yikes.
But if you really don’t know how to manage this……
“Hello boarder! Just a reminder/heads up that I won’t be lessoning this week. The arena is drug and ready for you but jumps are not set. Just wanted to let you know so you could make appropriate plans. Have a great ride!”

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I’m finding it odd that the trainer isn’t the one setting. Do they at least give you or boarder an idea of the lesson plan?

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Ugh my heart feels for this poor boarder. The I’m paying to board but am made to feel like it is a special favor dynamic is so toxic. If your passive aggressive subject line and poor communication style about simply setting jumps is any indication of your normal dynamic, I’m sure she’s walking around on eggshells.

“Hey Boarder. I’m going to be done dragging arena by X time. I know I normally set jumps. Do you mind doing them this time? Let me know if you need any help walking off related distances”.

It’s really not that hard to communicate.

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Seriously ? toxic ? passive aggressive ? poor communication ? eggshells ?
The OP has simply asked a question -
NO ! She is not responsible for setting the jumps for the boarder’s lessons.
The trainer guides the jump course.
The barn owner has invited a boarder into her barn. The contract states requirements of both groups = care and price, and rules. The boarder is boarding a a private barn with an indoor and allowed to take jumping lessons with her trainer.
The OP set the jumps previously due to her OWN lesson.
As posters have stated just a heads up text - to boarder and trainer about the change should honestly take care of anyone assuming a jump course set up in the future.

The OP is lucky to have a nice boarder and the boarder is lucky to have a nice place to board IMHO.

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Since this is a new scenario I think it would be fair if you remind her that you will have the arena drug but since you aren’t riding won’t be setting up jumps, and perhaps she should ask her trainer how the trainer would like the jumps set for her. I always helped the trainer set the jumps but since she was the trainer she ‘set’ the course.
And perhaps a reminder that it takes about xx minutes so she should allow for that time. :slight_smile:

I don’t think it is your job unless at some point you said you would do it, (which from what you have said you didn’t)

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This may or may not be an experienced boarder, if this is her first boarding scenario she very likely is expecting the jumps to be ready because they always have been. Just not having had to think about it before.
I think the BO is being thoughtful, perhaps overthinking it.

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Maybe tone just isn’t clear online but “is it my job?” read to me as exasperated/annoyed and I don’t see from the facts provided why the OP would be exasperated/annoyed yet?

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At the trainers barn. Not when the trainer goes to your house. Ever.

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Another possible consideration is physically transporting the jumps and rails to place. My own jumps are quite heavy and cannot be easily moved by a single person. I use my tractor and pallet forks to move them, other than minor things like adjusting distances by a few feet.

I would assume the owner doesn’t drag her arena by hand and has machinery. Just need more details and questions answered. If the jumps are just pushed against the arena walls and the rails propped nearby to allow for arena grooming and can easily be turned back into place by hand that is different.

But I still think the owner should offer to show and help the boarder set the jumps this first time, so the boarder will feel comfortable, trusted, and welcome to take on this responsibility next time this situation occurs.

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And, if the owner is annoyed she’s been doing it without help, start asking the boarder to come early to help.

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It was the tone and excessive explanation, not the question itself, that has taken people aback here.

She admits they have never discussed it, and she is imagining an expectation that has not even been presented (yet). Sure boarder could show up for the lesson and be a real booger snot about why the jumps aren’t set, or confused, or just start setting the jumps. No one knows because we only have OP’s side, that there has been no communication. If the boarder showed up in a post, “I board here, I’ve known the BO my whole life, she lessons before me so the jumps have always already been set, today I showed up and the jumps weren’t set because she didn’t have a lesson, and it made me late into my lesson, I wish I had gotten a heads up, am I wrong?” we would have all said the BO should have communicated with her. Some posters would have commented that she should have been helping all along, etc, or that she should be reaching out weekly, but most would say if X has always been a certain way and anyone one person who knew beforehand that X wasn’t happening, that person has the responsibility to let anyone else affected know.

Yes perhaps.

That’s a strong comment, do you lesson everywhere with every trainer? I have a trainer who comes to my private barn to teach me and sometimes a friend and her child if they want to do a lot of pole work, and she will move jumps and poles.

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Move, yes, but set up from scratch - not in my experience, either.

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@MzCarol, did you work this out with your boarder?

I am ignoring all the of the added drama and just going to say that I think it is fair to say to your boarder that you will have the ring dragged by X time, but you will not be setting up the jumps so they will need to come early enough to take care of that part.

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I mean, I would just send her a text, “Hey, heads up that I’m not jumping tomorrow so if you want to jump in your lesson may want to get here early to set something up.”

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I think everyone here is overthinking it.

The OP simply asked a question, which is actually a really nice idea. You know, think it through and get advice before taking a position. Perhaps the COTH collective would say that as the BO, it is her job to set jumps or be available for that purpose?

Now she knows that it is not her responsibility, unless she wanted to set other rules…as in, boarders must not set/move jumps without permission.

I agree that a reminder text is a good idea - and maybe copy the trainer so he/she can help decide based on the lesson plan.

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Maybe I’m reading the post wrong but it sounds like you’re a bit worked up about a scenario that hasn’t even happened yet OP?
Instead of what-iffing everything, can you just call her and say hey I wanted to let you know that because I’m not jumping, the jumps won’t be set when you get here? I’d hope (and suspect) the answer would be okay thanks for letting me know and then everyone would go about their lives. Life already has enough drama without creating extra in your head

ETA- I’m totally not being judge-y about this because it’s something I do all the time. I have to remind myself, just communicate (preferably verbally even though I HATE making phone calls and things usually work out fine)

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Moving poles that are out is different than carrying jumps from the perimeter and setting them up. I would never expect a trainer to show up at my house and have to start dragging jumps into the arena.

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