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Courage, friend. I know this must be really disappointing to see all your goals and dreams start to flicker, even if they’re not totally out of the question yet. It might feel like forever, but hold off on making any decisions until after you’ve talked to the vet. Don’t put the cart before the horse.
I think the hardest lesson to learn in horseback riding is that the horse always comes first. It seems like an obvious and straightforward lesson, but some days it’s a tough pill to swallow, especially when you’re competitive and have big goals for yourself. That said, this isn’t the end of the road unless you make it that way. There will be other horses, even if you have to wait awhile. You’re still so young - plenty of time to keep working towards those goals, even if you have to adjust your timeline a little.
I’ve seen (and experienced) some pretty devastating situations similar to yours here. The details have all been different, but the one thing that rang true of each of those situations is there were horse people who gladly stepped in to help out in whatever way they could - be it loaning tack, offering horses to ride/lease, letting you know about potential lease/buy options or buyers for your current horse. We all love this sport, and I’ve found that many people will go to great lengths to help you participate in it if they know you’re serious. Just this week a gal in my own barn just bought her first horse and had zero tack/blankets that fit her - by the end of the afternoon people had offered her blankets, wraps, boots, and even a spare bridle that had been sitting in the tack room.
It’s okay to be disappointed and frustrated and angry - your feelings are valid - but things will get better. You just gotta be patient.
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