My goodness!
Jumping jacks! What the hell???
I’ll have to remember THAT as a useful training tool!! NOT!!
Linda, my dear, sit down, pour yourself a cup of coffee. Listen to me kindly.
You really just don’t know what you are doing. You think you can teach, but you can not even handle a horse safely. I used to fox/stag hunt in the UK, those horses know about trees and bushes. Why, my dear, often jump bushes by downed logs! Shocking!!
You can’t chronically bash a horse in the face, with the timing of a left-footed-lame drunk, and expect him to respond. Do you know what a horse who really wanted out of there would do? He’d hit the end of that little halter and you’d have needed your shoulder reinserted. That horse, as you seem to not comprehend, was trying to understand. You, however, had the arrogance to imagine that what you were doing was training. You were afraid and you were ineffective. There is nothing wrong with admitting you were over your head. Clearly that is the case, but no, you have the temerity to put it on an instructional video. Stunning! Captured on tape your incompetence!
And let’s talk about that, shall we? If you stop and think about your market. Oh wait. I’m speaking to you about your market! To laugh! YOU know your market! It’s beginners who don’t have a clue what they are doing and look to these DVDs for a safe way to get their overfed, under worked, and under trained horses dead enough so they can go on a trail ride.
And you think that clocking that horse with a panic snap is going to be a good instructional moment?
Stop and think about that.
And you know what? Wait, take another sip. You need it. We all know you are just a cosmetics marketing girl who latched onto Pat and helped build the biggest equine cult going, we know the business world thinks you are wonderbread for building a kool-aid driven loyalty. We, in the horse world, are on to you and your husband’s gigantic ego. Pretending to be an instructor, retaining that horrific bit of video in your training DVD is really just a glimpse at your own padded sense of self.
Hunny, I’ve seen trainers make mistakes. They don’t like to do it, but it happens, the good ones learn. The bad ones create web page responses and build phony equine resumes for the victim to make the horse look like a fire breathing dragon, because we all know that taming a dragon is far better for DVD sales than just working calmly and sensibly with a horse who is blind in one eye, in a new environment, and probably just fresh. But, oh, no, this becomes some sort of object lesson to further illustrate, in your own mind, that you are some sort of trainer.
Hooo boy. Someone’s been had. In the business world we call them customers. I think in your world you must call them suckers, you treat them as such. Shame on you, Linda. You don’t have enough self respect to respect your customers.
You’ve had your cup of coffee, now go away.
I for one am sick of you ragging on about Dressage (I mean we are capitalizing here, right?) like you’ve ever done jack shit. Or that you’ve ridden some wildebeest instead of a horse, who now is a cuddly as a cocker spaniel. You’re a sales machine. We get it! We can see plum through it, so you are left with the poor suckers.
And, I for one, am angry about your predatory misinformation: lying about the horse, showing rank beginners that this kind of treatment of a horse is acceptable, that you actually know much about the competitive dressage world, er Dressage world, or even that Pat Parelli is the Greatest Living Natural Horse Shit Slinger in The Western Hemisphere.
Last tip: sales and marketing isn’t the same as information and education.
Now, go back into the hole you dug. I’m glad we had this talk. Here’s a refill on the coffee. Take a whiff!
