I will never understand how this happened and I probably never will. The jump was well within her and the horses ability. I just wish someone had video of the accident.
I don’t think that would help really.
It takes time Brad. Best holiday wishes to you and your family.
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Even if there was video I would hope nobody would watch it. It would not help anybody to see that video because it would not change things. Nobody wants to watch a loved one be badly injured or killed and have that visual as a memory whether it be in person or on video viewing it.
All of us that knew Mel miss her.
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Her poor instructor having to see that, it must of been awful.
A question? My aunts facebook account has been active lately. Could someone who knew her password be on it and would FB give out her password to a surviving family member? It says she was last “on” 10 hours ago.
FB won’t give out passwords, but if someone had that, they could be on. They also memorialize accounts when someone is deceased.
https://www.facebook.com/help/275013292838654/?helpref=hc_fnav
Probably your uncle. Have you spoken to him?
Em
No, I don’t think he likes me anymore:cry: I wrote him an email a month ago and still hasn’t replied back.
I would reach out to your uncle again. You know he has some health issues. And I am sure he is suffering from Melanie’s loss also. He has probably received a lot of emails and texts that he needs to reply to and may have missed yours.
As far as why her Facebook keeps showing recently active I am wondering if Melanie and your uncle share a computer. The way my home computer is setup I automatically am signed in to a lot of programs including Facebook. If he just clicks on the tab that has Facebook open for Melanie it may trigger Facebook’s algorithm to show her as active even if he is done nothing on her page.
my husband and I never log off her home computer unless our antivirus software forces a restart
Maybe try calling your Uncle?
Realize he is grieving just as you are.
As a longtime widow, I remember those first few months being a blur.
Adjusting to life without your longtime partner is difficult.
Tasks that used to be routine (like checking email) sometimes get sidelined while you piece together your new Normal.
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I know and his health problem is strange, because he and Aunt Melanie never could figure out what was wrong with him when she was alive. They went to the doctors and everything. He has severe back pain and doesn’t know what’s causing it.
For those of you who went to the service in PA, how was Gordons spirit considering everything? I mean could he walk okay, stuff like that?
Someone said here that their was video of the service and I don’t think I’ve seen it yet.
I left comments on my friends facebook page for a couple of years after she died. You can still post on their FB page.
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Glad I’m not the only one, sometimes I just want to share something that I know they would of enjoyed or appreciated.
For one friend in particular I pop in often to tell her how her courage has inspired me to fight a battle of my own.
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I just thought of something even if Melanie regained consciousness, she wouldn’t of been the Melanie we knew. She would’ve been here, but not really. To be honest, the Melanie we knew was already gone 
I would have NOT wanted her to suffer having to learn thing all over again!! My brilliant Aunt the scientist losing her intelligence, it would’ve broke my heart.
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That thought shows good insight from you Brad. :yes: The kind of insight that comes with time. Good for you for thinking it out.
It does take time to work through the loss of your loved one. Hang in there.
I know it’s not easy but it is something that many, many, of us have had to work through, and that all of us will, sooner or later.
The poet , Alfred Lord Tennyson who lived in the 1800’s said; " 'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all".
I have lost friends and beloved family members and I agree with him. As sad as I was when they died, it was better to go through the pain of losing them, than life would have been if I’d never known them. :yes:
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@bradt99 I love, as @skydy said, that you are working through this heavy loss.
I just want to delicately remind you of something that all people speaking aloud (in person or on the internet) should consider, “Know your audience.” While the death of your aunt is tragic it is sadly not the first person who competes in Eventing or who rides horses, to have lost their life doing what they love. There are many angels in heaven who were horsepeople on Earth.
Case and point this article is from 4 years ago but it touches on the topic.
https://www.horsetalk.co.nz/2016/02/22/fifty-nine-rider-deaths-eventing-1993/
Lots of us here have lost friends, trainers, icons of the sport and yes even children whom we knew. We have had more than our share of grief experience. From that I would suggest that if these feelings are still stirring around for you that you might want to consider talking to your uncle at some length and seeing if answers or just the conversation would help you.
Em
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Thank you and none of us would know how she would’ve turned out if she survived the injury, if I know my aunt and I do, she wouldn’t of wanted to live without her intelligence anymore.
Sometimes I wish god would strike me down so I can be with her again.
