Hello there! This might be a long one, so bear with me. I’m looking for advice about whether switching trainers is worth it at this time. But first! Some exposition.
I had, until around 5 months ago, been on a riding hiatus due to financial, and personal, reasons. My hiatus was five long years. Prior to taking a break, I was teaching lessons myself and a barn manager. I owned a fabulous mare that I brought along as soon as she came off the track. Again, due to finance (the barn I worked for went out of business), I sold my mare, stopped riding, and reestablished my financial situation. Cut to 5 months ago, my husband and I are now established living in a different part of the country (we moved from NH to NC) and I was finally able to get back into riding. My goals at this time are entirely different from what they were 5 years ago. I’m in my late 20s, horseless, and not looking to be a professional anymore. Strictly adult ammy game for this gal! In time, I plan on owning another horse (not soon though), I would very much like to actively show again, and I want to feel challenged. So, to the situation at hand.
When I was looking for a barn environment and trainer knowledge we’re of Paramount importance to me. I found a lovely barn 30 minutes from my house with an active lesson and show program that has a good string of lesson horses and an active adult clientele. Everything was going well until about 2 months ago. As I got my riding legs back, my instruction has tapered off. By that I mean, it’s become less of a lesson, and more me schooling some lesson horse for an hour a week. I am a weekly lesson taker, I haven’t started stepping up my ride time yet. This is not just my sentiment, my mother noticed (she came with me to the barn while she was visiting) as well as my husband. I have no issues with the barn, the trainer, or anything to do with the situation other than I don’t feel like I’m being taught anymore. My trainer has wonderful success with her younger students and is a lovely woman, but I am unsure if she is the trainer for me at this current juncture. I fully appreciate the confidence my current trainer has in me that she feels that I can “take the reins” but I am desperate to be challenged and taught. I have had several conversations in this direction with the trainer as well, talking about my goals and how they’re changing from when I first came to her. The other factor is that my husband and I will be moving in 2 months and it will add another 20 minutes to my commute to the barn and I would really like to be closer to the barn so I can start riding more often.
My advice seeking, after all this, is should I seek another trainer who is both closer to me and better equipped to challenge me with my riding or should I have a frank, blunt discussion with my current trainer? I am worried that I may find this same problem again at a new barn and I don’t really want to barn hop for months until I find a program that works for me, I fully understand that this could be the case though. I am also not likely to become a horse owner again in the next 5 years and finding a program that has horses available can be difficult in my area. Any advice anyone has for me would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks everyone!
I’m all about blunt but courteous conversations. That being said- if you aren’t that type of person but are still enjoying riding, maybe it’s a convo you don’t need to have. I only say this because you may find a barn closer to where you are living in the near future.
We have ours at home, we trailer out for lessons. One trainer is farther away and we get a LOT of bang for our buck. The closer barn, while perfectly lovely, we don’t get the instruction or advancement. We basically are just riding our horses. Even my child notices the difference. It’s close, we get to use the facilities but it wouldn’t be a barn that we would flourish in skills at.
Also- what DO you want. It is entirely possible that maybe this trainer doesn’t enjoy or have the ability to teach more in depth. Perhaps her breadth is dealing with more up down people who are going to tool around. Nothing wrong with that unless you want more.
Thank you for your advice! This had crossed my mind, that while she is lovely, she may not enjoy teaching what I’m looking for. I’m looking for someone who can help me improve my current skill set and help me refine and develop more advanced skills that are a)definitely rusty and b)underdeveloped.
This isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy riding for the sake of riding, but unfortunately that’s not what I’m looking for at this time. I am in the market for instruction and improvement.
Again, thank you for your input!
Are you in group lessons or private? have you thought about asking to work on something specific? perhaps at the end of your ride, so she can think of a lesson plan to help you before your lesson.
It would make sense to me to start looking for a new barn before you move, that is closer to your new location, but while you look, I think trying to see if you can get more out of your current situation would be beneficial.
I see a lot of lower level dressage instructors that give very little feedback on rider position, and just really help train the horse through the student. So you get students with big position flaws trying to school lead changes or lateral work or collection, and it really doesn’t work. Perhaps the instructors feel the adult students would resent direct instruction on position, or they figure the students are old and physically limited and are what they are, or they don’t know how to teach riding skills, or they don’t care because the rider isn’t being judged.
Jumper barns need to put a bit more emphasis on position so the rider doesn’t fall off.
I would think of a few things you want to perfect, and ask the instructor to give you feedback on that.
Is it possible that the school horses are not advanced enough to work on the skills you want to practice? I have had this issue before, with more advanced students that are limited by the available horses. It also may be possible that your instructor is more comfortable instilling lower level skills and doesn’t feel she has the expertise to help you with the more advanced stuff. Either way, I like the advice to identity some specific things you would like to work on and bring this up with your instructor. It is important that she understands what you are looking for in your lessons.
Find another trainer who understands your goals and can support them. Admittedly riding 1 time a week is limiting, but you start somewhere. There is no need to make switching trainers into some sort of major drama. It’s not going to be a big deal if you keep it professional. I think you would know by now if losing a once a week lesson student is going to be a major issue for your trainer. Smile, thank her for all the help she provided in getting you restarted and move on.
With two months before your move, I’d start looking into other options that will be closer, while continuing at your current barn. The move is a great opportunity to make a clean break with no hard feelings.
I would primarily frame the conversation around the move - you won’t be able to spend that much of your day travelling to the barn and need to find something closer - and ask her for any feedback on barns in your new vicinity. Then take time to watch lessons at new barns, especially with riders of similar riding abilities. Then take trial lessons at potential barns and see where you click.
As a once a week lesson client that doesn’t lease or own a horse and with no contract or lesson package agreement in place? You can disregard 99% of the leaving your trainer advice or here. Sometimes not being a pivotal client trainer depends on for income us a good thing- it’s very easy to leave with just a courteous thank you.
I suspect there’s not much more this trainer can teach you on the lesson horses that are available but it wouldn’t hurt to chat with her and see if she could push you a bit more if the horse is capable.
That can be something you look at when searching for a new barn, better school horses. Might cost a bit more though.
I was in a similar situation with a barn that I was at for many many years. I went through my “childrens” and “Junior” years there. But once I aged out of Juniors, it seemed like I started learning less and less in each lesson. I think I had reached capacity of what the trainer could teach, we were almost on a level playing field at that point. Her forte was and still is childrens and juniors. What was happening to me was similar to you. I was paying to school green horses or new sales horses for my lessons. I finally realized how wrong that was. At first I felt special, I got to ride all the green and new horses before anyone else, before the logic set in, and I realized that I was paying MY TRAINER to TRAIN HER HORSES. And getting nothing but some “ride time” in return.
It would be my best advice to start shopping for another trainer closer to the location you plan to move. There are certainly trainers out there equipped to teaching an adult with an advanced skill base. You just have to find one who has that niche, or ability.
There’s a lot of value in a trainer who is simply doing no harm. However, you have goals and wish to progress - and there’s no harm in finding a trainer who will help with that. I agree not to worry too much about it, and look for someone new while riding with this trainer.
I have the sense that the vast majority of riders do NOT want that detailed instruction, and the vast majority of trainers either don’t want to or can’t give it. My trainer is super picky and tough, and I LOVE that. While he acknowledges positive things and I know when he no longer mentions something that I’ve figured it out, he spends more time critiquing and helping me improve. I prefer that, and other people would think he’s negative and mean for the same thing. My horses and I are happy, though, and expectations are clear to all of us!
Now that you know what you want, you’ll more easily be able to recognize if it is there or not in lessons. Good luck!
I feel like I can very much relate.
After years in high school and college as a working student, bringing along greenies, etc, I changed career tracks, and moved back to Ammy-land and tried to find riding while horseless. I found many programs that happily charged me for a lesson that consisted mainly of me schooling their horses for them. This was on/off over several years and in several parts of the country. (Now, many years later, I have way too many horses of my own, and have been lucky enough to find an amazing coach who is extremely knowledgeable/experienced, but also demanding. I work HARD in her lessons!)
While that trend was hugely frustrating, it also makes a certain amount of sense. Most lesson students are new or re-riders and are best served by a barn-full of saintly up-downer and cross rail types. More experienced riders usually lease or purchase a horse. Instructors generally don’t have enough advanced students to warrant advanced school horses. Therefore, in most situations you’re either doing the coach a favor by schooling their sales horses under their vague direction, or you’re bored stiff jumping crossrails on an elderly packer. Personally, I found the former preferable, but also frustrating, for sure.
Since you’re moving farther from the barn, that might be a natural separation point. Start looking for other options closer to your new house, and when it comes time to move, thank your trainer profusely, and make sure she knows how much you appreciated getting your ‘re-start’ with her. No sense in burning bridges.
However, there’s a decent chance you’ll face similar issues at other area barns. If financially/time-wise feasible, a half lease or a free lease might give you more satisfaction.
As others have said, there are also a lot of instructors who tend to be fairly innocuously positive, without critical commentary or demanding concrete improvement. I’m not sure if that’s due to a new generation of students who are too easily discouraged, or a new generation of instructors who think they’ll retain students better if they’re overly flattering to them. As @Scribbler said, there may also be a discipline-specific atmospheric here.
Agree with so many of the above posters. I have moved around and it’s been horribly difficult finding a trainer that doesn’t either A) end up having me ride the naughty school horses to train them up or B) basically ignore me until I do something egregiously wrong. I think often this is due to the fact that they either don’t want to nitpick or actually aren’t capable of seeing the little details, plus horse limitations as mentioned. I’ve found it got worse as I got older and more trainers slotted me in the ‘adult ammy’ category and don’t ride me as hard - ended up telling a few trainers to treat me like an eq kid, which worked for some.
I was spoiled with a trainer who taught us how to actually ride and train our horses with the intent that we would be able to go into the show ring and adjust as needed without her input. Finding another one of her has been the proverbial needle in the haystack, but I’m thrilled with my current trainer. They are out there, and I think it’s totally worth leaving your current barn when you move and finding someone who fits your needs better.
