Hi there, I’m new and could use some opinions. I’m a 21 year old who goes to college full time for Nursing, I work 40 hours a week as a Nurses aid and I love to barrel race. I have an absolutely amazing mare, she’s a paint horse off the track and is a flawless mover and fast too. My trainer loves her, and now she’s just about done her training with a few small things to fix. Here’s my dilemma, I’m lacking the motivation to get out there and ride this amazing horse! My mom used to ride with me but she owns her own business and is very busy with it, as well as her being in pain while riding (she broke her back 3 years ago riding). My friend lives a mile down the road and rides but we have opposite schedules. I’m tired of just jogging and loping around in circles in the field (I have no time to till and drag my rocky arena). My parents make me feel guilty for not wanting to ride or for not riding for longer than an hour even if I work her hard. They’ve threatened to sell our newer horse trailer since I haven’t been able to go to races (granted they can’t take me some days and won’t let me take the trailer alone on my own). Now my question is, should I take a break for the winter or try and ride through it and hope for motivation? If you also had suggestions on activities to do as well that might help with my motivation send them my way!
How old is the horse? Sometimes a winter off to let a horse grow and mature is an excellent idea, assuming large enough pastures.
also, long walks (4+ miles) ate an excellent way to strengthen tendons and bone. Conditioning is important for any high impact activity.
She’s 11 but acts like a baby. I just don’t want her to go to waste but I’m bored and lack the will to go out and do it! All the fields around me are currently full of corn so I would have to wait till they are harvested.
Speaking as a college teacher: OP you aren’t unmotivated. Rather you are overworked and exhausted. You are working full time at a demanding job and you are going to school full time in a demanding program that is going to improve your job prospects and future life immensely. I’m not sure where in here you are also meant to ride two hours a day.
However it’s important to make proactive decisions for horses when we are not able to ride or care for them as much as we should.
Some options might be to let horse out as a free lease over the winter to someone under the eye of a trainer you trust. Or put her out on pasture in a herd situation and let her be a horse. I assume you have some money if your own to make this happen.
The mare can have a year off and you can assess your time and interest after that.
I think if you show some initiative on solving the problem your parents won’t feel like they are going to be stuck caring for a horse you have lost interest in. Show your parents you are thinking and planning long term. It is very easy to just get caught up in making it through one more day.
I’d also suggest you talk to the advisers for your program about the situation and time management. They may be able to suggest ways of describing your situation to your parents.
Also yes it’s true that parents generally have their kids best interests in mind. But not always. Sometimes parents trip up their kids college education or don’t understand the workload involved and make unrease demands. I’m guessing this is your first term and you’ve just hit midterm crunch and reality?
A lot of girls including me had to step back from horses in college in order to be successful.
It’s a better life choice than riding all winter but being a care aid your whole life because you failed or dropped out of college!
Scribbler, thanks for the response! I don’t think I would ever lease her out because she’s an EXTREMELY sensitive horse, and gets nervous over anything out of the ordinary so she needs a calm environment like how it is with me. Some people I know don’t understand that about her. As for taking a break I think I would only take the winter off, I usually do that anyways since I hate being cold and try not to be outside for too long. I could start back up in the spring. Luckily for me, my classes are only two days a week with one being online but the rest of the days I work (including weeekends) and I also try to fit seeing my boyfriend and my friends in as well (especially being a fresh 21 year old). I’m actually in my third year, I didn’t know what I wanted to do my first year of college and so now I’ve been giving myself more school work so I can finish sooner. I’m considering transferring to a school that’s a little bit closer and cheaper as well. I’m just so tired and I wish I could fit riding with and make it worth while but I just want to take a break but I also feel guilty if I do that.
What are your parents saying to guilt you? Is it possible YOU feel guilty not wanting to ride and are reading more into what they are actually saying? For example, if you aren’t likey to compete seriously again, maybe you don’t need as nice a trailer?
I wonder if they are just worried you are moving on, past having a horse, and they don’t want to see the horse abandoned? Or maybe they aren’t sure why the horse is in training if you aren’t planning to compete in the near future?
Perhaps if you go over your schedule with them, and explain that the next “x” months need to be focused on school, and just the occasional light/pleasure ride, then I would hope they would be supportive. Your horse isn’t old. The training isn’t going to vanish over the winter, just the fitness. YOU shouldn’t feel guilty for having different priorities right now, as long as your horse is taken care of, and you don’t become a weekend warrior with your horse to try to keep your parents happy.
Ok so third year courses get harder, you get more focused, you have a social life. It’s the big push to graduate. Don’t let anything get in the way of that! Give the horse some time off. They are perfectly happy living on pasture with a small herd.
I’m assuming horse is on your home place and your parents are worried they will need to feed more and more over the winter.
As far as social life and boyfriend you absolutely need to be doing that at your age (as long as it isn’t a bad scene with too much alcohol!). The horse should be a positive addition to your life, not stand in the way of moving into adult life.
