Not sure why everyone is piling on the OP here. It can be really hard if you don’t know exactly what questions to ask, to determine whether a boarding situation is really right for you until after you’ve been through the problems that will inspire you to leave. Then everything you kind of ignored before comes to light as another reason why this place doesn’t work for you.
Boarding is like, unreasonably difficult for everyone involved LOL
I’ve left a lot of barns in my life. Many of them I left because of moving states or circumstances beyond my control, but here are some of the reasons I left others:
Barn #1: this was actually family. A relative started a lesson program at the farm and it took over. This was a long time ago, so I can’t remember the timeline clearly. There was a final straw and I just couldn’t deal with the lesson program anymore. I moved my horses in with my farrier.
Barn #2: This was the farrier’s barn. I was working in exchange for board, but my life circumstances changed a lot and I was no longer able to fulfill my duties. I was there about 3+ years prior to the fallout. There was an uncomfortable 3 months or so when neither of us knew how to proceed until finally I found another place with friends. I moved my horses out on the down low to avoid conflict.
Barn #3: This was the friend’s place (wow, that was a tumultuous period in my life). The care was terrible. I should have left immediately, but I kept trying to make it work. I was there about a year, then out of the blue they jacked up the boarding prices with 30 days notice. That was the final straw. I found a new place in less than 30 days and just left.
Barn #4: I was only there maybe 2-3 months. I had moved to the area and didn’t have a lot of contacts. When I toured the farm, they said all the right things. When I got there it was a sh*tshow. For about the first month, I tried to stick it out. By the second month I realized I needed to start searching for other options, but didn’t have a lot of leads being new to the area. Then things got worse (like, animal abuse worse) and as soon as I found a new place I left in a hurry without giving notice. They tried to sue me for, of all things, theft of their cheap sweet feed (I didn’t steal their cheap sweet feed). The court wouldn’t even hear the case. The owners were arrested shortly after, glad I wasn’t there for that.
Barn #5: “fancy” (I use that loosely) training barn with a psycho owner. I knew this place was not going to be ideal, but it was my “best” (also using that loosely) option at the time. I stuck it out for 11 months, looking for a better option nearly the entire time. Once I had one, I moved my horses immediately and paid out my remaining 30 days very professionally. Psycho owner later made National news for an abuse case; it was even discussed here.
Barn #6: Really great owner, really terrible care. I liked the owner a lot, but my horses were turning into skeletons. They were there 6 months. I was content during the summer months, but once fall rolled around I could tell we were going to have care problems. Talking to her didn’t help. I started quietly searching; I even had to have a friend post on local social media groups because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. When I secured a spot, I moved within the week, paying out my 30 days notice despite her insisting I didn’t need to. We are still friends.
Not trying to pile on the OP here. The orginal story was bizarre; I can’t imagine not letting someone use wasp spray when they’re actually be chased by wasps.
It was the idea that there was profit to be made in boarding ( 
) that I was questioning. Whatever the weird motivation for not letting a boarder use wasp spray; I seriously doubt it was profit motive.
It is pretty much universal that boarding is either a break even or loss leading proposition, the money in running barns is in lessons, training and hosting shows, clinics and events. The actual business model behind boarding is poorly understood by most boarders.
I once had a sweet, lovely boarder ask why she didn’t get a reduction in board cost because her easy keeper ate less grain than the other horses. I gave her a run through of the costs associated with keeping the horse, highlighting that grain was a VERY small part of it, she understood, and never asked that queston again. What made her a great boarder is that she asked the question and listened to the answer, because the usual strategy is to complain about it in the tack room and get all the other boarders fired up about the perceived injustice first. 
Also, boarding barn managers run the gamut from cranky and tired to multiple TBIs to down right psycho.
Finding a good boarding barn situation requires that you be willing to pay the price for the services you expect, finding a barn that matches your own horsekeeping philosophy as closely as possible (don’t board in a high end show barn if you want 24/7 turnout) and avoiding the psychos.
It’s not easy.
Ok, I need reading glasses. At first glance I thought this said “I moved in with my farrier.” And I was thinking, “Well, that seems a little drastic. But whatever works, I guess.” 
Totally agree. This often comes from not wanting to be a pain in the ass boarder and it becomes a slippery slope of a series of compromises. Once you leave that barn, hindsight shows that the small compromises, the bad days, the questionable decisions all add up in one pile titled “why didn’t I leave earlier?”
That pile of misfits and transgressions is different for everyone. Rather listing all the straws that eventually broke my camel’s back, all I will say is that I have learned that as soon as you start thinking about changing barns on a weekly basis - get out. I fell pray to the whole “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t” and thought that moving my horse would be much more traumatic than it was. I gave my notice in person, paid my 30 days, and left the next day. Paying double board sucked, but that BO was so vindictive and mean that I didn’t want to subject myself to another 30 days of her (sometimes not-so-)passive aggression.
There are no perfect barns, there are no perfect boarders, but if you are cutting your barn trips short or your blood pressure starts rising when you see a certain someone’s car in the driveway - its time to go.
Without harping on about this one situation TOO much longer (because I feel the need to address the fact that, yes, it WAS a bizarre incident) 
… another boarder approaches you, a barn employee, and says, “Someone’s being chased by wasps from a nest in one of the trailers. Do we have any hornet spray she can use?” Are the first words out of your mouth going to be, “Well, who is it?” (followed shortly thereafter by “No.”) or are they going to be “Holy $%^ that sounds awful, how can I help?”.
Even if was barn policy, I’d either be calling the barn manager to explain the situation and to get his/her permission to let the person borrow the spray, or I’d be out there spraying the nest myself (if there was some issue with handing the can over). I’d have to really, really dislike someone (or my job) to refuse to help in a situation like that, and even then, I don’t think I could turn someone down.
I always got a strange vibe - like a feeling of disdain - emanating from the two full-time staffers, but because I never said or did anything contentious or made any special requests of them (in fact, quite the opposite … contributing to a fund another boarder randomly set-up to send them for a day at the spa in appreciation, gifts at Christmas along with a handwritten note of thanks for all their hard work throughout the year, etc.), it didn’t make sense that they’d have an issue with me so I tried to ignore it and tell myself I was imagining things. And who knows, maybe I was! But those feelings I had were real to me, whether or not anyone else agrees that they were justified, and I should have taken that hornet incident as proof positive that the place just wasn’t the right fit for us and given my 30-day notice that same day.
I truly appreciate all the constructive, tactful, and in some cases, sympathetic responses in this thread and am enjoying reading about everyone else’s barn-vacating experiences. It’s clear we all have our own reasons for moving barns - which can often be a decision fraught with all kinds of different emotions (in some cases, emotions we can’t even necessarily identify in the moment) - and I think compassion and understanding can go such a long way when someone is facing the prospect of change. I know it’s helped me process my recent move (and why it’s come as such a relief), so thank you 
P.S. I boarded at a co-op barn for several years, so I know how little profit is in boarding. I certainly never meant for my terrible math skills to suggest that this is a lucrative business to be in!
Yes, 
this x 
!
I imagine that the Wasp incident was not so much 1 thing but an example of a number of things that have piled up.
While on the surface, my current barn looks great, unfortunately it has numerous problems and I’ve been looking for a new place for quite a while. I’m on a waiting list at a great place but they never have openings, so I’m going to have to go somewhere else for a while.
Hopefully, when I do leave, it will be for the better.
I stayed at my last (ish… it’s complicated) barn for eight years, which was about seven years longer than I should have stayed. The BO was a bit of a dick, but overall, they took good care of the horses (with a notable exception…read on for more details). I went through on-and-off phases of barn hunting, usually spurred by a spike in dickishness.
However, my horse is neurotic and has complex care needs. She can’t be in a herd, and 99% of barns in this area only offer herd turnout. If the barn has the wrong juju, she fencewalks. And if the fencewalking gets out of hand, she drops so much condition that she looks like an RSPCA case. And the triggers aren’t always obvious, so moving is like playing Russian Roulette.
Three things compelled me to finally spin that cylinder.
I had worked out ways to control my horse’s fencewalking at that yard. She only did it in their winter turnout fields, not their summer ones, and it reduced significantly if she was brought in from the winter field around 1400. Normal bringing-in time was circa 1600. BO and family would not accomodate, nor would they even bring her in first, so she’d be going properly nuts while they left her until last… you know, to make a point. But myself, my sharer, and my friend developed a schedule that enabled one of us to be there at 1400 hours most days. This worked for a few years, until sharer got a job that wasn’t as flexible. But I really lost my shit when BO told sharer and friend that the fencewalking was my fault – I was “enabling” the horse by bringing her in at 2pm, and he was trying to encourage them to teach her a lesson by not doing that. Um, that isn’t how severe stereotypies work, buddy. Enabling? Really?
I pulled my horse’s back shoes a few years ago. My then-farrier wasn’t brilliant at trimming barefoot, but he did a sort-of tolerable job until he didn’t, and hacked off so much foot that the white line was at the very edge of the hoof wall, the sole was flat as a pancake, and the horse was lame. He did this three times (although I was in Africa the first time). It wasn’t just a one-off bad day. With the backing of my vet, I politely told him to trim less from her hind feet. He told me that she needed shoes and took even more hoof off at the subsequent trimming. I tried to get a different farrier, but every single one I called told me that they would not come to the barn “for just one horse” or that they weren’t taking new clients. In reality, no one wanted to come to that barn. At that point, it was a serious welfare issue, and I had no choice but to leave.
The horse was 26 at the time, and with a horse of that age, you will probably be counting your years left with them on one hand. Did I want those last years to be at a place where I felt unwelcome and unhappy? I wanted to be able to enjoy my horse again.
Boarded QHs, part Arabs who went Western and TB Hunters over a span of 50 years. Backyards, public stables, lesson barns, fancy show barns, sketchy situations, showed a Paint Western out of an ASB barn including gaited, Fine Harness and Roadster to Bike (we got along great long as I stayed out of their way). You name it. Probably been in 30 barns in 4 states, good, bad and indifferent.
Soooo, have some experience in how, when and why to leave a barn. Too many to share. Leaving always falls into 3 categories.
Thats it. There is no need to justify your choice to leave or feel guilty or that you are letting them down. Its time to go when its no longer working for you. Its not a breakup or divorce, you are just changing a paid service provider.
That said, obviously its a good idea to have a sit down face to face with BO to discuss a minor issue if you are otherwise happy, comfortable and horse does well to see if it can be resolved. But that’s not always an option and leaving is the best choice.
Most times, if you have to ask a group of internet strangers if you should move? You already know the answer.
One barn I left after 3 weeks. Just packed and left and texted the BO after. I left because of abuse situations, leaving my horse outside until 9 or 10 pm without feeding, not cleaning his stall, trying to steal others tack and feed, drug and alcohol use, and just general BO being a whack job.
Left the first barn after about 6 months. BO spent a lot of time gossiping about boarders to other boarders. And bad fencing/facilities were slowly going downhill. Gave 30 days and left.
Second barn was a couple years. Left partially because I moved further away and partially because I was the only dressage rider in a mostly western barn. Just felt the facility catering more to those (and that made sense). Gave a couple weeks notice and paid out the rest to leave on good terms.
Next barn was bad and I knew that after about 6 months but stuck it out thinking me being there 6 days a week would help. Good location and all that. Plus we had bought our property and I thought getting it horse safe was going to go faster (how silly of me.) Left and offered notice pay but she declined. So I paid half a month for good measure. I think she’s a total whack job that literally gave my horse confidence issues.
Then stayed at a friend’s for a while when we made our property ready. Loved it there minus the commute.
Now they’re home and I only complain when it’s muddy. Lol
All of these are spot on. If you are finding that you are dreading going out to the barn, it’s probably time to find a new place. If the care your horse is getting makes you uncomfortable, you should probably find a new place. If the BO tells you that if your horse dies, it’s all on you, because you disagree with their opinion on how something should be treated when you have experience treating it and they don’t, you should probably find a new place.
And if you find a place where the care is great, the owner is fantastic, the people are all friendly, there’s no drama, and going there feels like going home? You cling to that place like your life depends on it
I have left barns in different ways for different reasons over the years. Some with hugs and tears and promises to visit, as life circumstances or geographic relocations made moving a necessity.
Once by going to an off property horse show and just not coming back lol. When you know it’s time to go, you know!
In every case I have been polite, paid 30 days board whether I had a contract or not, and left as soon as I could, even though it meant paying double board.
You can tell a lot about a barn and its owner / manager by how they handle boarders leaving. In professionally-run places, it’s just considered part of the business and is rarely personal. Horses come in, horses go. Everyone stays on polite, professional terms and boarders often return again for training or with a new horse, etc.
If it’s a place where the BO takes someone’s departure as a personal insult, bad mouths them behind their back, gives them the cold shoulder, or stops caring properly for their horse, RUN AWAY. IME that’s a sign of much deeper problems that will eventually surface with the BO and at some point you will be their target.
The first barn I left was because I just knew that I could get care more tailored to my mare elsewhere, plus I wanted a shorter commute to the barn. I gave 30 days notice, tried to stay as nice as possible to everyone and then loaded my horse and left on the final day of the month. In hindsight, I should have paid the 30 days and loaded my horse before giving notice as her care greatly declined and I had a month of insults and stress. This barn I knew it was time to leave after several other boarders left due to declining care and concerns I had regarding my mare not getting enough hay or feed weren’t addressed. The horses were getting fed but I didn’t think my mare looked as good as she should have.
The second barn I left because I had built my own barn and wanted the horses in my backyard. This barn received several months notice throughout the whole build process and I left on good terms. The owner and I still talk and I would happily have her board my horses if the need ever arose. There’s not much I can say about my decision to leave this barn other than I had the property for my horses and just wanted them in the backyard.
My biggest tip would be to always give notice when you can, pay the 30 days without argument, and if you don’t think the BO will be professional about you leaving, just pack your horse and leave (after paying the 30 days). If I had to repeat barn 1, I would have loaded my horse and stuff, walked the 30 day check in to her, given notice and then immediately left. I went through a month of stress which could have been easily avoided.
This is pretty much my exact situation right now. Horse is still at the boarding barn and I give the BO updates regularly regarding our building process. We joke and laugh about how much money I could have saved by continuing to board lol. Barn building is spendy af. BO runs a horse hotel as well and it’s nice to know I could take horse back over there if I went on vacation and didn’t want the hassle of a farm sitter!
Aside from the condition of your horse, how the BO deals with other boarders and professionals is the other metric a barn’s quality should be judged by.
Very often the BO will give hints of their true colors in your very first interactions. You learn to pick up on the signs: are they badmouthing current/former boarders? Are they badmouthing the staff? Are they badmouthing the horses? Are they blame placing?
One of my biggest red flags is when the barn owner, out of the blue, starts talking about how they hate drama. 99.9% of the time that means the BO is the purveyor of said drama. People who are successful at running businesses are able to manage situations so they don’t become ongoing barn drama.
It is so nice knowing I have a safe barn, that they’re familiar with, for my little herd should the need ever arise! It makes me happy knowing that someone else has the same situation! Congrats on your barn build! The build process is stressful but you’re going to love having them at home, especially those mornings when they’re playing when you’re watching with your coffee.
It’s always good to leave a barn on good terms! I’m looking forward to having him home again!
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