Let me make a few things clearer. I love this woman to DEATH. She’s done very special things for me like help me find my horse without asking for commission, to simpler things like just giving me a hug when another horse we looked at fell through. My issues are that she isn’t very flexible when it comes to her training style, doesn’t have much knowledge of the UL dressage and para dressage world, and has made empty promises (ie “you’ll be off lunge line soon” and stuff like that). I also have traumatic memories associated with the arena we ride in. I think she gets frustrated sometimes on days when I can’t focus, but part of the reason I can’t focus is I’m trying to not have panic attacks and wallow in the memories of past incidents in that arena. WWYD?[/QUOTE]
Again, I would just be completely honest. You can omit the parts you feel that would upset her, but just say exactly what you wrote.
The great UL riders out there don’t tend to stick with one trainer their whole lives- many of them eventually branch out, go overseas, etc in order to continue growing as a rider.
I am currently in the process of having to turn down a work position with a lovely trainer because it is not the right fit for me or the horse I currently have. It is no reflection on her, as she is professional, friendly, and willing to work with you- I’ve known her for quite awhile now, and while I don’t think of her as a second mom, I happen to like her a great deal. But it simply isn’t the right direction for my horse and I. I was concerned at first having to break this news to her, as I don’t want hurt feelings and I know she was excited to have me, but in the end I know this is the best decision for both sides.
Not very recently I did end my training/work relationship with someone who I thought of as a sister more than a mom. It was perfect until it wasn’t, and as I became more stressed I knew things couldn’t continue as they were. I was completely honest, and in the end while it was very sad to be leaving my “family” in the end it was the best possible thing.