It was a typical harried morning. School’s out so the boy was still sleeping and I didn’t have a teaching job today. However, hubby was scrambling to tie his tie and scoot out the door. I was sitting on the bed and hubby had just walked toward me from the bathroom after successfully arranging his tie. We were discussing plans and laughing about something.
We heard an unhappy cat noise made by our 2 year old cat Miggy, Disgusting creature #1. He entered the room at a full run, looking distressed. Why was he distressed?
First, an explanation. Miggy has rather unusual tastes for long and stringy things. We have stopped him from eating the fringe off of blankets and the strings from our clothes. We regularly cut off ribbons that become frayed. I digress. Back to this morning.
Anyway, poor Miggy ran into our room and did something I have never seen a cat do before. He dragged his bottom along the carpet. After seeing what he left behind, I was reminded, vividly, that sometimes Miggy finds something to satisfy his stringy tastes. Left in the cat’s wake was what used to be a dark green ribbon (now tinged with brown). It was left in a perfectly straight line as if painted onto the carpet. Then the smell hit. Miggy quickly washed his bottom and regained his composure just as my husband, who had frozen in place, lost his.
I need to explain my husband. He enjoys many aspects of pet ownership. He’ll pet the cats and dogs. He’ll play with them. He’ll snuggle with them. However, anything connected to their waste is feared. Any messes they make, such as hairballs, puke, or accidents cause him to suit up as if for toxic waste removal. So, for this scene to play out in front of him was cause for an immediate conniption.
But, wait! There’s more.
Dogs have acute hearing and smell. We all know this. Some dogs hone these skills for the detection of certain tidbits, such as a shred of cheese that hits the floor (our dog, Maddie, has mastered this skill). Our other dog, Zeke, the big goofy German Shepherd, uses his powers for the detection of all things relating to cats. In his doggy mind, Zeke has decided that anything emanating from a cat is GOOD. He has been known to quickly slurp up cat vomit while I race for the paper towels yelling, “No, Zeke! For the love of puppies, don’t do it!”
Yes. What happened next is exactly as you suspect.
While the husband was warming up to his latest complaint about how disgusting pets can be, in walks Zeke, Disgusting creature #2. In a feat I have only ever seen done by young children with spaghetti, Zeke rapidly slurped up that tainted ribbon. The husband was apoplectic. I quickly calmed him down and shuffled him off to work, assuring him that I would clean up the stain. He was still mumbling to himself on the way to his car. I called him later to assure him that the carpet was clean and the house was safe to return to tonight.
Meanwhile, Zeke happily trotted into the next room, having triumphantly consumed another wondrous cat emanation. We are watching Zeke for signs of upset tummy, but I think the 10 inch ribbon, twice recycled, will come out in the end.
We love our pets. We recognize that they live by their own rules. Politeness and decorum are not always included. Sometimes, despite the fact that they too, are fearfully and wonderfully made, they can be disgusting.
. I always tell DH their saving grace is that with age I can tell that they too are increasingly upset by anything ick and they learn so quickly. Despite that, there’s nothing like walking into a quarantine room to see a jackson pollock left by tiny feet or find that the dewormer finally kicked in and you’ve got spaghetti o’s on the floor.
