.Looking for advice on navigating personal relationships and horses. Any and all insight is appreciated!
How old is everyone?
Has your friend shown evidence of being a graspy graspy kind of person with poor boundaries? Do you think your friend is the type to get possessive?
Do you think they will take your permanent lease away from you? Do you think the owner would really prefer friend for a leaser because of their superior skills or self presentation?
How about you? Do you have underlying issues of competition or envy with this person? Would it bother you to see her do something with him over the winter thatâs beyond your scope, whether thatâs an off season schooling show or a fancy clinic or just a really beautiful photo shoot on a beach in the snow? In other words, is this anxiety coming from you?
Is friend negotiating with owner for the winter lease, or does friend want to sublease from you at your current barn? If the latter, what will you do if friend flakes off, gets injured or ill, or has a personal crisis that means you are now responding the horse?
Finally whatâs best for the horse? In general most horses benefit from being in a steady coherent but varied program, though turnout for six months in a herd in a large field is good too.
If the horse goes back to owner, what will he do? Beginner lessons, get sour, lose his topline? Be warehoused in a small paddock without much attention?
If the horse goes to your friend, what will he do? Does friend have the time and riding skills to keep him.up or even improve him? Or do you have concerns about riding level or time commitment?
In any case, you need a clear contract that states when horse returns to your sole care. Signed by both owner and friend.
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Lay out all the expectations ahead of time, in writing. Since horse has been promised back to you on your return, horse ownerâs lease to friend should specifically state a firm end date for her lease period.
99 percent of the time when this kind of situation goes wrong itâs because people enter into it not on the same page and assume since they are friends they will just work things out as they go along.
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THIS!
X1zillion
@Scribbler Why donât you live near me?
Iâd gladly apply to be your (Senior 
) Barn Minion. 
OP:
Not your horse.
As deeply as you feel committed to & responsible, in the end Someone Else is the owner.
Even if owner is absentee, final decisions belong to them.
Times 10.
IME and observation over decadesâŠif you want to end a friendship and/ or get rid of a pest acquaintance? Do a deal like thisâŠthey can and do end up in court on the wrong side of a lawsuit.
Or, to quote an old saying, NEVER do business with friends or family. A lease is a business deal. The one you propose is a three party business deal. Maybe four if you include the boarding barn contract with whoever is taking the liability of paying the boarding barn.
Theres too many â what ifsâ here. And its not your horse.
You do have a written contract with the owner promising to hold the horse for you. Right?
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Yes. It may work out, but this is not under your control.
Do you care more about your friendship or the continued lease on the horse?
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As long as the dates of when and who is leasing the horse are clear and defined why would a problem or issue arise?. The contracts need to be between you and owner for the fall and spring lease, then friend and owner for the winter lease. With defined start and stop dates.
It is not sharing when your contract stops and hers starts, vice a versa.
Is the owner going to let said horse sit all winter? Is she making money or some fininacial benefit from the horse getting leased out?
How is it any different if another person does a short winter lease with said horse?
AND if you like your friend, why donât you want her to have an enjoyable winter riding the horse you like. Is it because you are not good at sharing? Do you not want your friend to have an opportunity to hone their skills over winter? or friend can have that opportunity, but just not on âyourâ horse?
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Then it would be a separate contract negotiated between owner and friend during the time OP is away with no involvement from OP?
Text makes communicating details fuzzy. If that is what OP is proposing, no problems. But if OP wants to be involved in sort of a sublease situation to be sure she retains some oversight during her absence and guarantee her lease when she returns, could be a mess.
Words of wisdom for OPâŠmuch can happen to owner, their health and finances over time. Donât assume your situation with their horse will continue into the foreseeable future with no change. That was a hard and painful lesson I learned the hard way.
Excellent and very thorough, pertinent things to consider in all of Scribblerâs questions!!
might want to have horse inspected by a vet at each point of transition otherwise if there is a health issue it becomes a question as to who did what when
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