So update on Max… I have brought all of the cards to the table, I think. Next week I am scoping him for ulcers. He has always swished his tail quite a bit and likes to suck behind the leg. I figure it’s worth a shot and the odds are that we will find something.
I spoke with the “cowboy” on the phone. He essentially told me that his plan would be to assess Max/his responsiveness on the lunge and groundwork before anything under saddle so he actually agreed to come meet me today on Max’s turf and in familiar surroundings.
When we started, i informed him that I usually only lunge in full tack and with a bridle, as Max is big and can be disrespectful (he is far too big and has successfully pulled me when I use only a halter). I cautioned the man to close the arena gate, to which he laughed. Well, it took all of ten seconds for him to say he had seen enough. He proceeded to have him canter on the lunge and every time Max pulled back or fussed, he yanked on the rope w/ increasing energy until he got a positive response. Had him go back and forth and he worked up a decent lather. I was told it was better to have him run around at a canter than to trot, as Max had TONS of energy. Eventually he had me try, and we progressed to flicking the end of the whip over his back and rubbing it back and forth as he trotted/cantered to desensitize him.
The lunge circle was let out wider and wider to test his degree of responsiveness. We had to bring him back in a few times. Once he was properly in tune, i ended up hopping on. Focus was on more energy, but also playing enough with contact to have his head down on the vertical and ears focused. A horse rode by and we did NOT get the bolting reaction.
As it was explained to me, he was chock full of energy and a bit of obstinance…the attitude of “if i put up a fight, I bet you won’t make me work.” When we first mounted he did NOT want to respond to my leg. I was told to use the whip and I said, “you’ll see, he is going to pop.” He DID, but then we popped forward and Max quickly realized that shenanigans did not equate to slowing down.
I was told to lunge him before work until it “wasn’t needed any longer” and to do so with more horses as we got better. Was also told to focus on FORWARD energy then circles and serpentines or leg yields if needed, but that focus on contact was the easiest and lightest way to ask for attention (not allowing his head to be perched in which he would NOT be paying attention).
Overall great experience. If nothing else, it got my confidence back because I had guidance rather than sheer hope that i was handling the situation. I am one to laugh at Max and make him work/push him through his quirks lightheartedly and I realized how brave I had been in the past. I lost that for a bit, and I think he could sense this. I’m hoping to be a confident leader once more 
That has got to be the longest “I don’t actually want to agree, but yes” I’ve seen! Well done! 