I’m putting this here, because I think it’s where the audience will ‘get it’ more.
I am considering resigning my PT job that I have loved… for a couple of reasons, but a biggie is my night vision sucks. It’s always been not great, but these days I can’t afford contact lenses, and the glasses thing… guh. Not sure I’d SEE the important things…
But beyond that, and deeper in my heart, I want to get back to my First Love. Teaching, training… special students. I have a dream to do a Wounded Warriors/Horses for Heroes program. And doors seem to be opening right and left as far as opportunity for that…
EXCEPT… since I got PT job, I have worked at least one of my days off, if not 2 or 3, ever since. Before PT job, when I only had one FT job, I rode 3-5 horses, 4-5x a week. I taught. I trained. Since PT job, I’m lucky if I ride the project horse, not to mention any others. I teach rarely.
I ADORE teaching. I’ve been held back by insurance concerns. My volunteer stuff is covered unter there Insc. The rest… well, I don’t charge a fee–if they’d like to ‘donate’ to help with ‘gas money’ then that’s lovely. :uhoh:
But, the biggest, number one reason I’m considering this, is I don’t know how long I’ll be able to do it. The fibro/CFS is bad at times. Flare ups remind me I’m not 110% any more. Hell, on a Bad Day I’m lucky if I’m 30%. I’m also ‘of an age’ (if I was a horse, I’d be one of those ‘12 year olds’ at the sale barn. :lol: ) and have injuries. I have three youngsters out there, and an unbacked 9yo broodie. Potential for as many horses as I can take–one at a time-- to start and get going and sell for a client. Big, kind, athletic Spanish Normans that would be IDEAL for Paras or Adult Ammies etc.
But I cannot do it all. I can’t work full time plus 2 PT jobs plus the farm, and get anything done.
In this economy, I feel like maybe it’s suicide to give up a steady paying PT job. OTOH, I sell ONE foal a year and ONE stud fee… and that’s what I make in that PT job… Fate has left me no sale foals in 3 years. I forget how much ‘cushion’ that puts into the horse budget.
I dunno.
I just am really worried that the body is not going to cooperate all that much longer, and I need to DO things while I can… meanwhile the economy TERRIFIES me.
OH–and the “happy pills” comment comes from a friend/mentor who wonders if the Cymbalta isn’t making me ‘happy’ so I’m not paying attention to the downsides of stuff. I"m on a pretty low dose 60mg 1x/day. The Psych said it’s such a low dose as to barely touch seratonin, it just short circuits the chronic pain mechanism… even though they don’t know why. But I thought I’d add that, because she might be right. I’ve actually asked the Psych that (hence the answer I got) because I’ve been really, really happy since getting done my old job.
What say you???
:winkgrin: