I am so sorry shiloh. {{{HUGS}}}.
Susan
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I had to wait til I got home before I could reply.
Thank you all for your kind thoughts. I feel so numb right now. I donāt know what to do. I guess just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I got home and I automatically looked up the stairs to where she used to sit and wait for me on the top of the pony wall. I would get to a certain point and she would look down and lean over to give me a kiss. That was her spot. The house seems at once much larger and yet smaller because she is not in it anymore.
On my way to work (I have to drive thru a very urban and crap section of the city) a large blue dragonfly flew right up to my windshield and stayed there a few seconds looking in. I saw it and I donāt know why but I immediately thought āOh Bonnie.ā It flew away and I donāt know maybe she sent it. Maybe not. But it was strange in a section of town where I have never seen a dragonfly let alone a blue one.
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Iām so sorry to read of your loss ~ ((hugs)) ~ hurts like Hell ~ takes oneās breath away.
RIP ~ beloved Bonnie ~ knowing you will always be loved and remembered ~
Yes ! I believe Bonnie sent the dragonfly ~ to let you know sheās fine and now watching over you from above ~
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RIP sweet Bonnie. You were a good one. So sad to learn of this. Oh those empty favorite spotsā¦hurts so bad. But she is released now. Goodbyes suck.
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Checking in on you - I know how much it hurts to lose one, especially one as special as Bonnie.
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sent pm
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I went to pick up Bonnieās ashes today. The service did a lovely job packaging - nice card, nice box, classy dark blue bag with blue āvelvetā bag over box.
I had to sit outside and cry for awhile. iām not really doing well with this recent loss. I am so god damn depressed I can barely get out of my own way. I either feel very flat and am just going thru the motions or veering off into tears, but mostly my go to is anger. So many people who should be dead - not my little girl. So many people who asses I want to kick. I donāt care about hardly anything and am losing interest in eating. Today I made a lovely hamburger and only ate half. Same with breakfast - only eating about half.
All I want to do is stay home, watch tv, cuddle with my kitties, and play with the color by number app on my Kindle. And sleep and sleep.
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Hang in there. It takes time to heal. I lost my Dewey in June of last year. I was a wreck for the rest of the summer. I work in a school so it was good we were on summer vacation because I was crying every day. I love all my cats but Dewey was my heart kitty and my soul mate and Iām not past it a year later. Every day, I miss him and I think about him.
It takes time to mourn and heal. With the ones you were very close to, you might not ever get past it. Try to keep going and making it through one day at a time (or one hour at a time). You have other cats that love you and need you. 
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Absolutely, that dragonfly was or was from her.
Iām so sorry for your loss, but grateful for your kindness towards her even when it hurt you so very much. 
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Some day in the near future one of your kitties is going to do something that makes you laugh so hard that your stomach hurts and you almost piss your pants. Thatās when you will know that youāre starting to heal.
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Please hang in there. We know what youāre going through. You can always PM me.
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Ugh, so very very tough to remember that special One. Especially the ones who were there in the bad times as well as the good. Honestly, some losses we just never get over, so do what you can to just function.
I still grieve for my good junior horse who crossed the bridge in 1984. You are not alone. PM anytime.
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