Any one in this type of situation? I really don’t know what to do anymore. I absolutely love my trainer! He is head trainer/ owner of the farm and is always on the road and currently at WEF. I currently don’t have the funds to be on the road or at WEF this winter, but that doesn’t mean my heart isn’t there…I can only afford to go to about 5-6 big shows w him over the summer. So now I am stuck w assistant trainer who is terrible! I mean super under qualified, lazy, just doesn’t seem to pay attention or knows much about improving my riding or my horse. Assistant runs the lesson program, there used to be a second assistant who trained clients while head trainer was away, but that trainer is no longer here and head trainer is not hiring anyone to fill that spot, so now lesson trainer is taking over farm while head trainer is away. I already expressed my concerns w my trainer he agrees w me… And said he’s working on it… But nothing’s happening. Am I stuck to not progressing in the winter?? Do any barns in Westchester area have a good stay at home trainer? I’m so upset at my terrible lessons I’m at a breaking point. Just bc I can’t afford to be on the road does that mean I can’t receive good training? Help!
Can you take a break from training for a while? Or if that isn’t an option, could you have someone video your rides every now and then to send to your trainer for feedback or recommendations for exercises at a rate that you both agree is fair?
I feel your pain. I recently left a trainer because of that. Not that the assistant isn’t nice, motivated or a hard worker, but her experience, especially at higher levels was just not there. The beauty of the internet is that show records and experience can now be verified. I refuse to spend my hard earned money on someone who does not measure up. I live on the west coast, so there was another trainer at the equestrian center that I board at that met my criteria. I really liked the main trainer, but she was not always available when my schedule allowed me to ride. I also did not want the assistant to be schooling my horse over fences. Her background was in the jumpers and she had never competed at a rated show in the hunters or equitation. My horse is definitely a hunter and needs a soft touch especially when jumping. It is hard to find the right package and I hope you are able to find a program with competent staff.
This is a HUGE challenge in Westchester County (NY). I recently moved to a barn where BNT’s absence at WEF is covered by an excellent trainer. The situation seems to be working. It’s very costly, however, and I’m not sure that having my horse at this new barn will be doable for too long. The alternative, however…similar to what you describe is an utter nightmare!!! The icing on the cake at my previous barn was not only that their newly hired “assistant trainer” was an adult re-rider (similar to myself, however, if I remember correctly she rode only 2-3 years as a young teen) but she now shows her horses and others as an amateur. Hot mess all around.
Can someone come in once a week to school you that your traveling trainer trust? Otherwise, it might be an opportunity for you to help the lesson trainer grow. Ask her what she see vs what you feel. I know it’s not your job, but you might be able to pull out a different level trainer by questioning and challenging her to do more for you
See if you can’t wait it out. You won’t get anybody until he’s done at WEF, hopefully is looking for somebody while down there.
Having been in a similar situation a couple of times over the years, I usually just didn’t lesson with them and schooled the horse on the flat myself skipping jumping until they came back. It didn’t hurt a thing. Of course I was in an a la carte priced barn and met the minimum requirement via treadmill sessions.
YMMV but it’s probably a mistake to jump ship in favor of a better assistant since a) trainer knows and says he’ll take care if it and b) assistants never stay, they leave-often on short or no notice if a better opportunity presents itself to them.
Had a friend in this situation. She had a heart-to-heart with the head trainer, with specifics, and the two assistants had a sudden dramatic improvement.
She still wasn’t completely happy with their skills and she let the head trainer know, so things were adjusted to minimize her necessity to work with the assistants.
What about taking this opportunity to move out of the full-training barn and take lessons with other instructors around the area? You may even be able to save some money on training fees over the winter and be able to do some more shows in the summer when your trainer returns.
If head trainer is willing to work with you remotely by reviewing video, giving you things to work on when hacking, etc. that might be enough to get through this winter.
Another convo with head trainer about his plans for improving the situation is probably in order too - not just acknowledging that there is a problem, but how does he plan to improve things and what timeline does he have in mind. Your expectations for improving the situation might be different than his, but clarity around it will help you get through the winter.
Or if you really want to move on sooner - hang out at Old Salem on the weekend and observe the stay at home trainers and see if there’s anyone you really like. Historically I’ve found that the good kid-focused barns with feeder strings of children’s ponies tend to have pretty effective stay at home assistants, but then you have all the issues that come with being an adult at a pony barn…
Edited to add another thought – if you are also paying for “pro” rides from mediocre asst trainer, think about if you would be basically as well off letting a experienced teenager or other adult hack on days you aren’t riding for free or in a quasi-half-lease situation. Save some money but also let your $ reinforce your dissatisfaction with the situation.
I also agree to stop with the lessons. Are there any clinicians in your area right now? Maybe move to a different barn for a few months that has a stay at home trainer?
Would your trainer, since he’s the owner, let another trainer on the premises to teach lessons?
I do feel for you. Nothing is worse than a crummy assistant.
[QUOTE=lovemyboy;7978813]
This is a HUGE challenge in Westchester County (NY). I recently moved to a barn where BNT’s absence at WEF is covered by an excellent trainer. The situation seems to be working. It’s very costly, however, and I’m not sure that having my horse at this new barn will be doable for too long. The alternative, however…similar to what you describe is an utter nightmare!!! The icing on the cake at my previous barn was not only that their newly hired “assistant trainer” was an adult re-rider (similar to myself, however, if I remember correctly she rode only 2-3 years as a young teen) but she now shows her horses and others as an amateur. Hot mess all around.[/QUOTE]
Oooh… maybe a job opening for me. Pack up my stuff and go Back East for WEF and be a (good) assistant trainer for a Pro down in Florida. Y’all would do some pretty correct dressage and more work over poles and grids than jumping courses, lol. Stirrupless, too. You have been warned.
OP, you have done the first thing right: Talked “professional to professional (and customer)” about the problem. If you have a trainer who is willing to address your issue, you are ahead of the game. That shouldn’t be so, of course. I can’t tell you how many people talk to folks here and anonymously rather than going to the person who has the power to fix the problem.
Step 2: Has he given you a date by which he thinks he can have someone else in? Or can he suggest a local person you can haul out to for lessons in his absence? Ideally, he’d set this up, and he and that pro would communicate about his horse/rider teams.
Step 3: At the very least, do you have his blessings to go out and find your own help while he’s away and doesn’t have a substitute? You don’t need his knowledge/permission, of course, but being up front with him is the right thing to do. It’s also key to being the client who gets to complain or take her business elsewhere for a time without burning bridges.
Step 4: If worse comes to worse, you simply take your horse out of training for the duration of WEF. This should be a last resort (unless you want it in the first place.) IMO, your absent pro shouldn’t be surprised by your decision and allow you to keep your stall until April since you were up front, tried everything else first (to not offend his assistant and to keep money coming into his business), and are doing this only reluctantly as the only solution left.
But notice how much you can do before you just up and bail!
I hope you guys can work something out. But you shouldn’t have to stay and buy help you don’t want to just because your pro has a staffing problem.
Westchester is so tough with respect to that issue. I mean, obviously the crummy assistant thing is a widespread problem, but when you are in one of the big programs in that area, it is tough to stroke a $3-4K check at home and get crappy training. And in my experience, there is usually not an option for “just boarding” for the winter (not to mention that only salves the $$$ pain, and does not much to solve the lack-of-training problem.)
IF the main trainer will arrange - or at least allow - another trainer to come in a few times a week, it might work out. But very few trainers do that, and perhaps understandably so.
From the client perspective, even if you can negotiate the “right” to do that, I think it is going to be very difficult to find another pro who will come in regularly, and even more difficult if you need to lesson, say, after work or on a weekend. (OP does not indicate if they are in that boat - but if so, those slots are obviously prime time and most good trainers are far too booked with their own programs to accommodate someone else’s clients off farm. ) Likewise, it’s pretty tough to regularly ship in to someone else’s program if you have to do it on that kind of schedule. At least, that was my experience; I had a full time job and a 40 minute commute from office - barn; if I had to add shipping into the lesson equation regularly, I’d have been getting home way past my bedtime. YMMV.
Frankly, it seems to me that if you can find a program to ship into that offers good year round training, it might make better sense to just move there instead of having to deal with all this hassle for the winter season.
Good luck.
I can empathize with your frustration. I’ve been in this situation before. I, too, was otherwise very happy with the rest of the barn/program and brought my concerns about the inadequate asst. to the attention of the head trainer, who was very receptive and assured me he cared very much about keeping my business. He also indicated that there would be changes, but similar to your situation, I wasn’t informed when. I toughed it out until things became clear that there was actually a plan in place to get in someone new.
I agree with another poster who mentioned that asst. trainer positions are very transient. However, as someone who boards at a barn that sounds similar to yours, it is way to expensive to pay “AA” for a lackluster asst. who borders on incompetent! The price of board doesn’t go down when the head trainer leaves for FL, so now you’re paying top dollar for a product that doesn’t cut it. If the problem really is that bad, I’d let your head trainer know that you hate to leave but reality is you can’t afford to be in FL and you need a program that meets your needs year round. My trainer was gone from fall thru April, that’s half the year! I was almost at the point where I was ready to jump ship if something wasn’t done, but then it happened just in the nick of time. Your trainer may indeed be working on it. It isn’t easy to find good employees. Or, he may be putting it off while he’s away focusing on other things. Either way, you deserve a program that meets your needs. If you have reached your breaking point, I’d tell him so and ask for a timeline. If nothing can be done for one reason or another, my advice is to start shopping for a new barn, even if only for the winter.
[QUOTE=HealingHeart;7978822]
Can someone come in once a week to school you that your traveling trainer trust? Otherwise, it might be an opportunity for you to help the lesson trainer grow. Ask her what she see vs what you feel. I know it’s not your job, but you might be able to pull out a different level trainer by questioning and challenging her to do more for you[/QUOTE]
If the OP is paying for a “full program” (which it seems she is, based on not taking lessons/having pro rides as an option) in Westchester Cty, with a trainer who goes to WEF, she is probably paying upwards of $3000/month. At that level of expense, it is hardly her responsibility to help the assistant “trainer” to grow. I’d be more inclined to determine if head trainer (who appears to understand your plight, you are probably not alone) can help you locate a trainer who can come to you and teach.
^^^mvp, you could probably establish a pretty decent business as a traveling freelancer in an area like Westchester/Fairfield over the winter. Get a few WEF bound trainers to refer you. The only problem is that all those folks paying for full training won’t like paying an outside trainer on top of their trainer.
I do think that paying “BNT” rates for 3 months to receive “LNT” training/riding is a ripoff. Maybe you could be paid by the trainers who are getting paid for lessons and rides that they are not providing all winter. (Then again…probably not…)
This is always an issue in the East during FL Circuit - The head trainer has to follow the $$ and who can blame them? The assistants at home can set jumps if you tell them what you want and can assist at winter shows at least. And you might want to fly to FL to have a lesson now and then with the BNT on another horse- or lease a horse for a week. That’s just the way it is.
[QUOTE=mvp;7979567]
Oooh… maybe a job opening for me. Pack up my stuff and go Back East for WEF and be a (good) assistant trainer for a Pro down in Florida. Y’all would do some pretty correct dressage and more work over poles and grids than jumping courses, lol. Stirrupless, too. You have been warned.
OP, you have done the first thing right: Talked “professional to professional (and customer)” about the problem. If you have a trainer who is willing to address your issue, you are ahead of the game. That shouldn’t be so, of course. I can’t tell you how many people talk to folks here and anonymously rather than going to the person who has the power to fix the problem.
Step 2: Has he given you a date by which he thinks he can have someone else in? Or can he suggest a local person you can haul out to for lessons in his absence? Ideally, he’d set this up, and he and that pro would communicate about his horse/rider teams.
Step 3: At the very least, do you have his blessings to go out and find your own help while he’s away and doesn’t have a substitute? You don’t need his knowledge/permission, of course, but being up front with him is the right thing to do. It’s also key to being the client who gets to complain or take her business elsewhere for a time without burning bridges.
Step 4: If worse comes to worse, you simply take your horse out of training for the duration of WEF. This should be a last resort (unless you want it in the first place.) IMO, your absent pro shouldn’t be surprised by your decision and allow you to keep your stall until April since you were up front, tried everything else first (to not offend his assistant and to keep money coming into his business), and are doing this only reluctantly as the only solution left.
But notice how much you can do before you just up and bail!
I hope you guys can work something out. But you shouldn’t have to stay and buy help you don’t want to just because your pro has a staffing problem.[/QUOTE]
Thanks for all the ideas!!! You all have really been great! It’s nice to here that others understand what I’m going thru. You seem like just the trainer I need! Lol you speak of all the things I love doing to improve and advance, non of which current assistant does w/ me 
My trainer actually did say he has someone coming to train me this winter, he gave me her name and said I would love her… We’ll he said this in the beginning of December when he left, so far no trainer…I speak to him every few weeks or so and last time he said he’s working on a schedule, than just this week I asked him again and he’s like let me call her today when do you want lessons? Ugh!! He’s just so busy at WEF he forgets, which is understood just frustrating! I just hate feeling I’m wasting time not getting proper instruction, I mean I want to be ready to show this spring… But just don’t feel I’ll be as prepared as I would like. I can only afford minimum of shows so I want to do the work at home to be overly prepared, but it’s just not working out that way. My trainer had me riding so well this summer\ fall… I feel like I loose my flow w the assistant, my bad habits come back and I catch myself! I get so upset bc assistant doesn’t notice Anything! Nor does she know how to fix any issues that might rise during lessons. I end up leaving frustrated and I feel like I’m a terrible rider. Im currently showing in the low a/o hunters dying to move up to the 3’6" Trainer and assistant both agree w moving up, however I have to remind her, and ask if I can jump bigger all the time! every time I ask she like oh ok… Like it doesn’t even phase her…if it was up to her I would be jumping 2’-2’6" like her lesson program so she doesn’t have to adjust jumps. Since I’m in the process of learning to move up shouldn’t I be jumping that hight or higher more at home? I was jumping bigger w my trainer before he left now I feel like I’ve moved down. Or do you think it’s unsafe to request to jump bigger w assistant?
I do want to try and wait it out hoping assistant will leave\ or he will get so one else this spring … I was thinking the same thing 
I mean most do leave eventually lol.
Would it be possible next time you speak with him to ask for this other trainer’s number? I am sure he’s quite busy, and if you’re the only one either at home or with an issue with the current assistant I imagine priority is low to get this sorted out for you (no offense)
Also, as for the height of the jumps there is a lot to be learned at the lower heights! I probably only jump up once every couple weeks, the rest of the time is spent on poles, low jumps, flat work, etc. I would actually be more concerned with the fact that she doesn’t give you any feedback and you’re reverting to old habits versus the height of the fences she’s setting.
[QUOTE=KateKat;7980316]
Would it be possible next time you speak with him to ask for this other trainer’s number? I am sure he’s quite busy, and if you’re the only one either at home or with an issue with the current assistant I imagine priority is low to get this sorted out for you (no offense)
Also, as for the height of the jumps there is a lot to be learned at the lower heights! I probably only jump up once every couple weeks, the rest of the time is spent on poles, low jumps, flat work, etc. I would actually be more concerned with the fact that she doesn’t give you any feedback and you’re reverting to old habits versus the height of the fences she’s setting.[/QUOTE]
Maybe… I would hate to go there not sure if that’s crossing the line… But who know how I’ll feel in another few weeks if there is no word! And yes I do know I am low priority… It sucks! there is just me and 3 other clients left at home and two of them are 3ft kids who don’t really know any better I think… But I do know one of the mothers is starting to notice her daughters non advancement. And the other is an amateur like me who is on the same page, but hasn’t voiced her opinion yet, she’s only been leasing her horse for like 6 months so she hasn’t figured out her next step yet.
I do agree that hight doesn’t matter, I love love doing excercises and gymnastics, but assistant trainer doesn’t know anything about them, she does not do any type of excercises/ poles/ nothing! So w her when you jump low you are literally doing outside, outside diagonal, diagonal!! Terribly boring! At least if the jumps are bigger I feel like I’m getting something accomplished but that’s probably the wrong way to look at it.
I’m coming at this from a different viewpoint: what do the other clients do? Do they fell similar or are you alone in this? I’m guessing not ALL training boarders are at Florida (I could be wrong).
I wish you luck!
[QUOTE=diva0909;7980394]
there is just me and 3 other clients left at home and two of them are 3ft kids who don’t really know any better I think… But I do know one of the mothers is starting to notice her daughters non advancement. [/QUOTE]
The mom of a 3’ kid can potentially be a verrrrry powerful ally here… Something about horse show moms and “squeaky wheels” 
