I’ve been riding with a male dressage coach which is fairly new to me and we were making some changes to my sitting trot. I think my horses have pretty easy trots to sit. I tend to absorb a lot of the motion and keep my body relaxed. The way he described it was almost keeping positive tension through my whole body so that my legs almost made me hover over the saddle and my upper body more upright. It made us look better but I found myself bracing in my upper body so that tells me I’m weak there. I was just wondering if there’s anything to consider when it comes to sitting trot when accounting for the differences in male and female pelvises, if it has any impact at all. I can see why a man would want to hover a bit given the sensitive nature of it. Thoughts?
Men’s pelvises are narrower than women’s, on account of them not needing to force babies through them 
Unless he has experience with a female pelvis, I can’t see that he’s qualified to advise !
Schleese Saddlery built an entire business model out of the difference between male and female pelvis structure and how those differences sit in the saddle differently.
This is an outdated generalization. There are loads of women with narrower pelvises and loads of men with wider pelvises. Additionally there quite an overlap in pelvis size between “normal” men and “normal” women.
I get absolutely crippled riding in “women’s” saddles. I had a male student who absolutely could not ride in “men’s” saddles. On top of that, you’d not have a clue just looking at either of us from the outside.
Let’s just change that name to “Fleece” shall we? Without measuring the pelvis for the client, there is no way to say that one style will fit all women.
I would discuss this with your trainer. Is there a reason why he wants you to change your position? Are you going to be doing more difficult moves that require you to have more movement with your legs/hips? Or are you just trying to sit up more straight to look “prettier”?
I would also suggest talking to your trainer. He should know the difference of how men and women sit in the saddle. And there IS a difference. (As to different saddle styles for men than women, I don’t know about that so won’t speak to it.) I’ve had many male students over the years and men and women just sit differently, probably for the “delicate” reason you mention. I would never try to change the way someone is sitting the trot if it was working, they were going with the horse, and they were staying relaxed.
At some point this just isn’t about men vs women, since even women have a wide range of hip anatomy, attested to by the vast number of human saddle fit posts over the years where one set of women feel like they’re sitting on the edge of a 2x piece of wood because the twist is too narrow but is really pretty average, and others feel like they’re being pulled part in that same twist.
More than a few people (all women that I’ve seen, though for sure men too) have bought horses they can’t ride because those horses require a saddle that’s too wide for them.
A good trainer should see YOUR anatomy and how it works with YOUR saddle, but that’s probably not common enough.
So, what you described - positive tension stretching yourself taller while letting your legs hang straight down - is exactly what my coach “fixed” in my position. I was softer in the core, even slouchy. Fixing that changed my riding and communication to my horse through my seat significantly - because it enabled me to be quieter and more effective though my seat. The light bulb moment was when she had me ride in bands (shoulder to heel) that forced me to push up through my core not to be scrunched. It takes a lot more core strength and endurance so I’d suggest keeping at it. It doesn’t really have anything to do w/ pelvis shape, imho
I agree that the whole stretch down from the waist down, and up from the waist up, is the goal. But it sounds like the coach wanted more than that from the lower body so the seat was too light and the whole body too stiff.
I’d really get some clarification. By “my upper body more upright” do you mean just straighter? Or do you mean it felt taller? Taller is good, but not if it’s coming at the expense of stiff legs/hips
Often the difference is not so much the pelvis as the musculature. In general, because they have more testosterone, men have more muscle tone (firmer muscle). As a result, their thighs tend to be triangular and lay flatter against the saddle. They also tend to have flatter gluteal muscle. The strength and shape of the muscles allows the seat of most male riders to lay flatter against the saddle.
Women often compensate for the roundness in their thighs and glutes by relaxing and absorbing the motion of the horse as you have described. If they don’t absorb the motion, their seats are unsteady. But if they do relax their seat, then they are less effective because it is difficult to have control over your aids. A relaxed seat also suppresses the horse’s forward impulse. You’re making the horse carry dead weight.
The best thing to do is to increase your muscle tone so that your muscles are responsible for carrying your body. Your core has to be able to be strong enough to hold your body still so that you can use your aids. Through strength training you can also actually change the shape of your thighs, which will help you to sit closer to the saddle. Pilates is a great help, as is targeted strength training for your thighs and buttocks.
No matter the size, or shape of the pelvis, what matters is the use you, as a rider makes of the muscles around it, and your upper body.
