Man, doing the right thing sucks sometimes

[talkofthetown]

Tomorrow, my mare’s old owner is coming to take her back. This wasn’t really planned, I wasn’t actively seeking her out. But old owner texted me today, completely out of the blue. Just wanting to say hello and see how maresy was doing. I don’t know, I sort of took it as a sign. One thing led to another and she’s coming tomorrow.

Don’t really feel like getting into the whole saga, some of you know the history. Tl;dr I took her on as a project a year ago, she ended up having really bad back/soundness issues and I got thrown pretty bad. Decided she couldn’t be ridden for the moment (or ever?), etc. She is a super sweet mare but the damage had been done, I got scared and…resentful, maybe? She has never found a way into my heart. I can’t afford another horse while we have her, so I’ve been stuck in this awful guilt circle of not wanting to keep her but not wanting to give her up.

Did I do everything in my power to figure her out? No. I didn’t do a ton of extensive very work, didn’t send her to a trainer. I either didn’t have time, or money, or the truck died, or or or…but she is fat and happy and hasn’t gone without.

I know that this is for the best, her old owner (crazy though she is) loved her and was obsessive about her care. Maresy will be well cared for. And I can stop feeling guilty. But this sucks. I feel relief, and I feel guilty about feeling relieved. Someone talk me through this?

[Pocket_Pony]

If the previous owner is a good horse woman, then lucky you to have such an easy solution fall into your lap. Sounds like it will work out for the best for all involved.

[Polydor]

Sounds like it worked out for the best. Will your gelding be happy with just the goats for friends?

Also some of your thoughts -feeling relief then guilty etc- might partly be because your pregnant too. Crazy hormones and all.

P.

[GraceLikeRain]

I did the same thing once but from the other side. I took back my mare when her living situation was not working out. The owner at the time struggled with feeling guilty but it really was the best for everyone involved.

She gets to go to a loving home and you are free to move on. It is the best case scenario.

[talkofthetown]

Honestly I’m not sure how gelding will do. I am hoping he won’t care, because he never seems bothered when I take Maresy away from him. Ideally we’ll find another horse, but if that doesn’t happen in time, worst case scenario weer could board him for a month or two.

Hormones, mossy likely. I don’t like them.

[talkofthetown]

Sorry for the typos. Posting from my phone and the edit button isn’t working for me.

[normandy_shores]

You have nothing to feel guilty for – this sounds like the right move for everyone involved.

I had a little mare that had a series of soft tissue injuries, even while on rest. I did the vet workup and the stall rest and the time off etc. When the last checkup a year later (after all that time off) showed a new suspensory injury, I thought to myself that no matter how carefully I conditioned her it just wouldn’t be fair to try and make her a performance horse. So I gave her a few months and found her a suitable non-riding home with a vet. I get the occasional update and know she’s doing well and that I acted in her best interests, but it doesn’t relieve the feeling that I failed her somehow.

[cayuse]

This seems like a sensible solution for everyone and If the mare is going back to someone who loves her and will care for her there is nothing to feel guilty about. It actually sounds like a perfect resolution. It will be OK!

[JanM]

Talk-The edit button hasn’t worked for me all weekend either, so it’s not you, it’s just a glitch.

This sounds like a win-win solution, with a great outcome for the horse.

[Texarkana]

I’m so glad this is working out. And you have NO reason to feel guilty. You have been nothing but a responsible owner for this horse, in spite of her issues. An unfortunate many would not have been so responsible.

[minnie]

Win/win! Sometimes the “universe” knows what you need, what is best and actually provides it. I’m a firm believer in there are no coincidences.

[sortofbyx]

Agreed with what everyone else has said. You’re very fortunate that this mare has a good, loving place to go back to. You aren’t stuck with a horse who doesn’t suit your needs. And you don’t have to worry about a potentially bleak future for a horse with issues. That’s the definition of a win win. I know it’s difficult to “let go” sometimes, but you have no reason to feel guilty for being relieved that you’re letting a horse go back to a loving home.

[Magicboy]

I think you were really lucky and so is the mare…good ending all around

[talkofthetown]

Thank you all for the encouragement. It all went relatively well, Maresy threw a little fit when the trailer first pulled up, but other than that she behaved and loaded fine.

The worst was dealing with our gelding. He seriously never bats an eye when I separate them. Until today. :rolleyes:

I know this was the right move. Just needed to hear it from some horse people that get it.

[minnie]

Happy to hear it all went well. The gelding will be fine. Now it’s time to concentrate on that baby! And there’s probably a pony in the not all that distant future!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :yes:

[whitney159]

I had an older mare that went back to her original owners when we were in touch and they wanted a chance to breed her one more time. Repro exam showed that she wasn’t a good candidate to carry another foal, but they of course kept her as they loved her and her past babies etc. I got a call from them last month that she’d died at 33. I knew she’d have a wonderful caring home for the rest of her life, but always felt guilty that I got the easy way out of caring for a senior horse. Turns out, they were always grateful that I gave her such a good home for the years I had her and they had a chance to be with her for the years she had left. Sometimes things work out.

[Nootka]

Sometimes it is best to close that chapter. The weight will be lifted and you can be free to find another horse that will suite you. There is no reason to feel guilty!

[RoughOut]

I think you’ll look back and see that it was meant to be.

Gelding will get over it and mare gets to go somewhere where she will be loved and looked after.

You did the right thing