Preface: I’ve owned my mare since she was a foal, 8 years ago. I chose her because she had an outgoing, friendly, nonaggresive personality. As she’s matured, she has stayed sweet, calm, friendly, and easygoing with both people and other horses, whether male or female. She’s always been in relatively large mare groups in which she could join subgroups of nonaggresive mares that stayed at a safe distance from the “boss mare” and/or the “boss mare” group.
So, in the past few months, I’ve moved to a rural farm which offers my first opportunity to have my mare at home, rather than boarding. I was most concerned that, as she grew up in a herd (useful for knowing that she’s not alpha - more like omega), she would be more comfortable with a companion. I searched locally for a companion/husband/kid horse. Bought a QH mare who was described as “slow” (yay!), easy, maybe bossed the geldings a little when in heat.
So, after a week, our 3-acre pasture of belly-high grass is trampled down to dirt, because the QH mare runs my mare INCESSANTLY. Will. Not.stop.
We cross-fence the pasture, so they can be together but QH mare can’t run the other one. I start working on gradual separation, taking them out to hand-graze out of sight of one another. My mare adapts to this, becoming relaxed even when QH mare is running/screaming the fence line. QH mare does not improve. Now that the pasture is trampled down, we buy hay so QH mare won’t lose more weight (estimating she’s down about 200 pounds since we’ve had her, with the running).
Seller, when asked to take her back, says it’s past our oral 30-day agreement, and that he told me she was “mean.”
I can’t find any online advice addressing the aggressive meanness toward another horse. She’s not aggressive towards me, so advice about that doesn’t help.
Anybody have this experience? Thoughts?
It sounds like it’s time to buy two new horses, one for your sweet mare and one for your mean mare. You have just entered The Twilight Zone.
Sometimes horses just don’t get along, but at the same time, you only had them together for a week, correct? Is your sweet mare in danger if you were to put them back together for a few weeks? Is she getting kicked or bitten? If she is being harrassed but not beaten up, I would try keeping them together for a longer period of time. They are both dealing with a lot of changes. Even if you separate them, I think you need to give the new mare at least a month to settle in and settle down.
Then I would ask the vet for an evaluation and advice.
Yikes, What a nightmare, the horse and the situation both. Does the ‘mean girl’ have a skill, such as jumping or is she a good trail horse? That might allow her to be re-homed.
And I second the advice to consult a vet.
Just reporting that I FIXED IT. I mean, I did some things and now it’s fixed.
- Cross-fenced pasture so Mrs McBitchface couldn’t chase my undominant mare.
- Remembered Lakota principles of how to make loose horse make you think you’re its lead mare. Took my short lunge whip out to Mrs McB’s pasture. Tried to approach her. She turned her back on me and moved off. I stood in the corner of her pasture where her water was, and didn’t let her by me for a drink. Just body positioning/language/non-contact brandishing of whip. She was wicked pissed off. I kept her moving (don’t stop with your butt to ME, missy), keeping her away from water and her safe corner. She ran, she bucked, she kicked out, she got sweaty and tired in the wet, heavy going. I got sweaty and tired, too, but she was doing most of the work.
- First day, 25 minutes before she would stop and face me. Then I went home.
- Second day, 20 minutes.
- Third day, ten minutes. And she stood for me to walk up to her, give her a scratch and a treat.
- Fourth day, less than 8 minutes to enter pasture, show intent, have her stop facing me, walk up and halter her. Treat & release, go home.
- Next day, put the two of them together in the round pen for an hour, then let them out and put out three piles of hay. Mrs McB started with the behavior, and my undominant mare kicked her fair and square, having apparently taken the lesson from me (or something).
Grand Finale: They are currently BFFs. Stand together in the run-in. Drink together from the trough. Eat from the same pile of hay.
So thanks for ideas and encouragement. I’ve learned to be open to a lot more ideas and horse-think strategies since I moved to ND. But Petey Pie, your encouragement to not just give up on posturing them together really helped.
Congrates!! Well Done
wow! sounds terrific! glad that it worked out
