Mental Disability

[Galloping.Along]

TRIGGER WARNING
TRIGGER WARNING
TRIGGER WARNING

Hey y’all!! All I normally see in this group is physical disabilities. I am totally fine with that, but I was wondering if anyone also suffers from mental illnesses. I have diagnosed Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety, ADD, and Binge Eating Disorder. I am a former self harmer but have been clean for months now. I am also symptom free from my eating disorder. I have been on the edge of death multiple times, but am so grateful to be alive. The thing that saved me?? Horses. I have been in so many therapy sessions, groups, and psychiatrist appointments, but that clinical stuff just doesn’t do it for me the way horses do. They are my true life savers, and I’m not sure I would be here if it weren’t for them. I have suffered from severe confidence, self-esteem, and body image issues, but have slowly but surely worked myself out of the dark hole I was in. I was wondering if anyone else is in the same boat and credit horses for helping them along in this wonderful journey called life??

[Everlong274]

when my ex dumped me suddenly after 4 years of being together for no obvious reason, my horse was the only reason I got up every day. I had to do stalls and he was pretty high maintenance care wise, so if I didnt go to the barn I not only had to pay more in board but I risked vet bills. So for a good 2 years he was the reason I woke up every day. Add into this losing my job, and he became even more vital to my lifeline and getting up every day.
He did nothing for my confidence riding wise, but confirmed that I know how to handle a horse on the ground who is big and unaware of his size. I credit him with me being alive today every time I talk about him. He’s no longer mine, but I still see him and we still have that bond.

The horse I leased after him helped me find my confidence again and reminded me why I love riding so much. I got a lot o crap for spending $ to half lease a horse but my response was always,“why am I going to pay a therapist $ to listen to me talk, when I can go exercise and clear my head while talking to my trainer/friend?”

I know others that have gone through similar struggles and their horses got them through it. You are certainly not alone.

[shayaalliard]

I have autism, and have certainly struggled with depression- the last few years have been difficult to say the least. Horses make more sense to me than people most of the time.

[jonquil]

Only my feeling of responsibility for my horse, and her sweetness, got me out of the house during a three-year depression. The dogs helped too but I knew DH could take care of them. But the horse needed me. Although I was too sick to ride for a lot of that time our bond grew stronger as we simply spent time together.

[AirsAboveNC]

I battle depression and anxiety. I have to say that one of the things that got me going at one point when things were bad, was getting out of bed to go teach my therapeutic riding students.

I have no horse of my own and I definitely notice how my mood is affected when I go long periods of time without some equine interaction.

[farriers_wife]

I have anxiety and Bipolar. Horses and dogs help me thru the hard times. Getting up everyday and taking care of them does wonders for me.

[californianinkansas]

I have ADHD, PTSD (child abuse), OCD, and Major Depressive Disorder, atypical.

The only time that I ever feel “normal” is when I’m around horses and horse people.

The clinical piece is important because they can catch you or intervene when the spiral starts, before the increase in symptoms is noticeable to you.

I went through a year of EMDR, which was life-changing for me in the very best ways.

For me, maintaining a daily yoga practice is vital to my mental health.

I’ve found that studying Buddhist teachings on managing emotions (“shenpa”) to be extremely helpful, especially Pema Chodron’s teachings.

Joseph Campbell’s writings about the Hero’s Journey have been life-changing as well.

I’m now taking lesson from a wonderful Centered Riding instructor. A lot of the CR teachings have a lot in common with yogic teachings.

Above all, please be gentle with yourself.

[starsandsun]

I’d like to recommend the book SuperBetter to anyone/everyone suffering from anxiety, depression, etc. It’s a life changer.

[Ceylon_Star]

My pony is my everything. Without him, I would no longer exist. Even with him 50 steps from my front door, I still struggle immensely with my mental health.

I have borderline personality disorder and schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type). The jist of it is that I am hypersensitively emotionally reactive, have extremely low self esteem, have black-or-white thinking/reasoning skills, and top it all off with bipolar mood swings and schizophrenic hallucination and delusion. Ugh.

I don’t cope with my issues very well. I forget to eat because I’m too busy trying to tune out the voices, or I’m unable to cook because my oven and smoke detector are telling me to kill myself. When everything goes bleak and numb, I self harm in order to feel SOMETHING, and then battle intense guilt for having done something so foolish. I am only capable of working very part-time, and even my short work days/week (4 hour days, 3 days a week, with a 2hr afternoon thrown in on one of those days) is overwhelming and exhausting.

I am both unbearably lonely, even around people, yet also overwhelmed and made more miserable being around other people.

I am grateful to live where I board, because it means I can go out and snuggle my pony at odd hours when nobody is around, and if I can muster up the energy to do so, I can ride during the quiet/low-traffic hours so I don’t need to deal with more than my barn owner and maybe one other boarder at any given time.

My inbox is always open to anyone needing a friendly ear.

[mroades]

Horses don’t lie, and that is everything to me…

[Albertabound]

I am convinced that my horse is the one thing that has kept someone very close to me alive over the years.

[TheBrownHorse]

I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone.

I’ve been diagnosed with chronic, severe and debilitating mental illness. From Anorexia to Bi Polar, ADHD, Complex PTSD, BPD, Anxiety, and so on, I was what some deemed a hopeless case.

And sometimes I still feel that way. Being labeled as a “chronic” severe anorexic was hard for me. “chronic” severe self-harmer. I’ve been psychiatrically hospitalized 25+ times. I’ve nearly died more times than I can count from ODing or Self Harm.

The only thing that keeps me going in my horse. He is my soul horse. With him I was able to recover from my anorexia, though I still struggle I consider myself in recovery. I am weight restored, maintaining, and not obsessed with food like I used to be. AND i can ride again. Being malnourished, be it by starving, binging and purging, binging, etc. your brain just goes out the window and it’s near impossible to focus on anything, let alone riding or seeing your horse.

So I get it, and I wanted to let you know, that as someone deemed a chronic and severe case of BPD, Self Harm, and Anorexia, that it IS possible to find recovery.

Here’s an article I wrote for COTH, maybe it will help

http://www.chronofhorse.com/article/my-battle-eating-disorder

[Everlong274]

I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder with occasional depression and PTSD. I hate going to therapists b/c i know what they are going tell me, mostly b/c i have to say the same thing to my patients. But time spent at the barn is far more effective at overcoming my anxieties, lowering my stress, and making me feel at peace than any hour spent paying to talk to someone. So I go for my med checks and talk to my doctor, and spend my therapy time at the barn.

[20SpidersInATrenchco]

I am autistic and bipolar (both types WHEEE) with limited speech ability, awful executive dysfunction, and severe anxiety to the point where I can’t hold down a job in an office or retail environment. Riding really helps with my symptoms…I feel like it’s building muscle memory in my brain wrt good coping mechanisms and healthy responses to stimuli. That also has the added benefit of making horsey employment a good, sustainable income option for me.
I was at the dentist recently having a lot of cavities drilled-n-filled, couldn’t afford sedation other than nitrous, and I was doing my level best not to have a full-on sobbing panic attack. The dentists all remarked on how calm and collected I was, and why on earth did I think I need sedation?
WELL when your “therapist” is a collection of anxious sporthorses, I guess you start having different responses to that “ohmygodI’mgonnadie” feeling…

[Bluey]

[QUOTE=20SpidersInATrenchcoat;8999046]
I am autistic and bipolar (both types WHEEE) with limited speech ability, awful executive dysfunction, and severe anxiety to the point where I can’t hold down a job in an office or retail environment. Riding really helps with my symptoms…I feel like it’s building muscle memory in my brain wrt good coping mechanisms and healthy responses to stimuli. That also has the added benefit of making horsey employment a good, sustainable income option for me.
I was at the dentist recently having a lot of cavities drilled-n-filled, couldn’t afford sedation other than nitrous, and I was doing my level best not to have a full-on sobbing panic attack. The dentists all remarked on how calm and collected I was, and why on earth did I think I need sedation?
WELL when your “therapist” is a collection of anxious sporthorses, I guess you start having different responses to that “ohmygodI’mgonnadie” feeling…[/QUOTE]

That is true, horses teach so much, to each whatever they need to learn.

Glad that you found a way to compensate thru horses.
Maybe others will learn from this.

[Mukluk]

I am glad people have been so supportive on this thread. Our mental functioning is influenced by so many things- genetic propensities, the sort of environment in which we grew up, our current circumstances, our thinking, and our behaviors. I certainly wish everyone the best. Horses, pets, and caring others can be wonderfully healing. A good therapist can be invaluable. And medications can also be a life saver for many.

[btswass]

All through college I thought I had bipolar disorder (I was diagnosed with it) until right after they found a large tumor in my thyroid. I was fortunate enough to have my horse at school and I swear I would never have made it without him. I never want to feel the way I felt in college ever again and give so much credit to those who deal with it on a daily basis. My thoughts were always out of control. I used to call it hamster wheeling.

They removed the tumor and I felt so much better. I didn’t even realize how bad I felt before. But then the major fatigue set in, then problems with my small blood vessels, my eyes stopped producing tears, I found out I have a cyst in my brain that can kill me if it moves, and suddenly developed colitis. I found out I have myotonic muscular dystrophy which is the cause of the dry eyes and blood vessel problems. The cyst, muscular dystrophy diagnosis, and colitis all happened in a 6 month period. The stress and anxiety caused by this many health problems all at once is enough to send anyone over the edge (especially at the ripe old age of 25. I’m supposed to be healthy I’m only 25!!!) And horses were there to steady me yet again. I’ve finally got a handle on my thyroid medication so I’m no longer insanely tired, on medication that creates tears for me, and my colitis is manageable without medication so long as I stay away from certain foods. I haven’t felt this good mentally or physically well really ever.

I wish everyone struggling with mental or physical problems the best of luck. And I promise the darkness always subsides in time.

[Luseride]

I have a small lesson barn. Currently I have one young lady that is autistic, one that has anxiety issues along with some physical problems and another that has self-harmed. All three families use the horses as part of their overall plan to have a good life.

I have had others through the years but having three at once in my small program is a high percentage.

[GallopAndJump]

Diagnosed with autism and anxiety several years ago. The one place I feel the most confident and comfortable is with my two horses. Gone the therapist route, did medication for awhile, but I’ve always felt the most … me … with horses. I am what is considered “high functioning” as in I am able to hold a job, I have a husband, etc. but there are certainly days and times when it doesn’t feel like it and I almost always take some sort of comfort in just spending time with my horses.

[invinoveritas]

[QUOTE=btswass;9016546]
All through college I thought I had bipolar disorder (I was diagnosed with it) until right after they found a large tumor in my thyroid. I was fortunate enough to have my horse at school and I swear I would never have made it without him. I never want to feel the way I felt in college ever again and give so much credit to those who deal with it on a daily basis. My thoughts were always out of control. I used to call it hamster wheeling.

They removed the tumor and I felt so much better. I didn’t even realize how bad I felt before. But then the major fatigue set in, then problems with my small blood vessels, my eyes stopped producing tears, I found out I have a cyst in my brain that can kill me if it moves, and suddenly developed colitis. I found out I have myotonic muscular dystrophy which is the cause of the dry eyes and blood vessel problems. The cyst, muscular dystrophy diagnosis, and colitis all happened in a 6 month period. The stress and anxiety caused by this many health problems all at once is enough to send anyone over the edge (especially at the ripe old age of 25. I’m supposed to be healthy I’m only 25!!!) And horses were there to steady me yet again. I’ve finally got a handle on my thyroid medication so I’m no longer insanely tired, on medication that creates tears for me, and my colitis is manageable without medication so long as I stay away from certain foods. I haven’t felt this good mentally or physically well really ever.

I wish everyone struggling with mental or physical problems the best of luck. And I promise the darkness always subsides in time.[/QUOTE]

I don’t understand this? (This is old thread but was bumped up recently.) If you were diagnosed with bipolar disorder, does this mean that a thyroid tumor has the same symptoms as does bipolar? I boarded at a barn where a woman had been disposed with bipolar disorder and was supposed to take meds for it, I think lithium?, but she did not like the meds and chose to not take them. Should she go check and see if she has a tumor somewhere that is causing the same symptoms? I thought it was depression with bipolar??? Please advise.