Mission impossible? Oh, those tough decisions

[HHH]

[QUOTE=rugbygirl;6956512]
Yes. :yes:

It made a huge difference to my outlook on life when I realized that my horses are nice, but they aren’t going to set the horse world on fire. …
I agree with others, I think that there is something not quite right, but it’s probably not the horses. You need to figure out why you’re creating all these unachievable standards for yourself, putting requirements on your own performance that you wouldn’t expect of anyone else …
Just one suggestion, offered in sensitivity/empathy…do you think that maybe you are setting these insane standards for your horses to give yourself a “valid” reason to avoid spending time doing something else? I have a tendency toward hermit-ism…[/QUOTE]

Thank you for giving me your story. I like your analogy of hermitism. I am an introvert too. But for the time being I actually MISS being more social (outside work and the horse world). I MISS doing the other things that I enjoy too, like taking a walk in the woods without bringing a fourlegged friend along every time.

I appreciate to hear somebody labelling my standards as insane and unachievable. It helps putting things in perspective.

[HHH]

[QUOTE=DancingArabian;6956070]
Have you tried setting up a schedule and putting some structure into their work? Some people that have multiple horses kind of feel overwhelmed with what to do, with which horse, etc. maybe if you tried scheduling it out, including maybe one or two ‘if I feel up to it’ sessions it might be easier. That way you won’t have to face six horses everyday - you’d have a couple maybe.[/QUOTE]

Yes, I do have a structure and that is a very good advice, particularly the bit of including a little room for slack in it too :). That is, for three of the horses that I train regularly. For the remaining three (including a 3-year old that are not yet backed), I have the “whenever there is time and energy left”.

[HHH]

[QUOTE=red mares;6956087]
(Zipping flame suit)

You sound overwhelmed. You sound unrealistic. You sound like you need some help, and not in the barn.

I doubt that you are the only one who can adequately take care of any one of these horses. While your horses apparently lack for nothing, they would likely be no less happy with a bit less.

I think putting down a perfectly saleable horses is a bit silly. If they were old, infirm, nuts, or no buyers at all - no problem, kill them. Putting them down because you don’t want to work in 7 years or because they might get silver plated care instead of gold plated? Not so much.

To work yourself to the point of utter exhaustion or sickness, is frankly, dumb. (BTDT). Based on your post, your financial situation sounds self imposed. Besides the fact that you don’t want to work in 6 years is there any other reason that you don’t spend anything? Saving 55% of your income and complaining about the expense of trainer doesn’t work for me. Horses are expensive. If you can’t handle the expense, thin the herd.

Without knowing why you have this financial timeline, it sounds unrealistic. Unless you’re using them as transportation, etc. horses are a luxury. There are times when we need to rethink our priorities.[/QUOTE]

I see I was not clear enough about the finances. The horses are not a financial burden (see my reply to another poster). The financial timeline is due to the fact that I am overwhelmed and stuck, and I see that I might be stuck for a while. So I save in order to get some space to breathe. Having the financial timeline help me from burning out completely. I know I will get a break!

Simply “thin the herd”. Well, if it was that simple, this thread would not exist.

[threedogpack]

[QUOTE=rugbygirl;6956512]

It made me smile hugely to put a visitor from China up on my Hunter. She had even borrowed cowboy boots and a hat for the occasion, and she thought that hopping on him bareback was the next thing to skydiving, bad-assness-wise. I led her in a few circles and she clung to Mane and shrieked several times, and my good Hunter didn’t flick an ear. Honestly, at that moment, I realized that there was more JOY created in that moment than I’d gotten winning all the Hunter ribbons I’d fought so hard for…so, is pony-ride mount really a case of “wasted potential?”[/QUOTE]

this is just so awesome. I bet your foreign friend will NEVER forget her ride.

[HHH]

[QUOTE=Candle;6956301]
Why not put them on a rotating schedule and pony the trained ones during the week for base fitness? That way you can work three or four horses at one time like the polo players do and then have only two left to “work” that day assuming you want everyone ridden each day.[/QUOTE]

Yes, ponying is a valuable help! It seems I have the barn owner with me on putting up some sort of mini-track where we can train the horses loose too :).

[HHH]

I am realizing here that I have come across as a highly ambitious competition rider. Hmm… my ambitions for training the horses is to keep them healthy, straight and supple. With “vasted potential” I see lack of suppleness, stiffening joints, overweight and so on, not missed ribbons and merits.

[Bluey]

[QUOTE=HHH;6956938]
I am realizing here that I have come across as a highly ambitious competition rider. Hmm… my ambitions for training the horses is to keep them healthy, straight and supple. With “vasted potential” I see lack of suppleness, stiffening joints, overweight and so on, not missed ribbons and merits.[/QUOTE]

Sounds like you are overhorsed, need to cut back to what you can enjoy playing around with, not the current too numerous ones you have to run ragged to get the minimum done with each.

[RedHorses]

Maybe this is a crazy idea, but have you considered hiring someone to help work the horses? If you can arrange accomodation you might be able to attract a young foreign person who is looking to travel the world and experience another culture - even if it’s just for the summer between college/university school years. I don’t know what level of coaching you could offer, but that might be an attraction too. If you hired someone for the summer, you could get those horses that you’d be willing to sell ridden regularly without killing yourself. If they have show potential, perhaps help would allow you to take the horses to a show further away where you could make some contacts to find buyers. Yes it would cost you money now, but you’d get some of that back when you sold the horses and more back over the next six years by not having to support them. Plus the reduction in stress on you might allow you to keep working a little longer without creating more stress.

[rugbygirl]

I appreciate to hear somebody labelling my standards as insane and unachievable. It helps putting things in perspective.

I’m sorry, it sounds terrible put that way, and I didn’t mean it that way…your standards for horse care are admirable and you’ve maintained them for a long time, so they aren’t unachievable…a better word might be that they are not currently sustainable for you. Those standards would be unachievable FOR ME, and for most of the horse people I know…so it would be insane for us to set the bar there…but you are not in my immediate sphere, so it isn’t fair for me to apply such a harsh judgment.

What I really wanted to communicate is that it is very reasonable that the workload of maintaining six horses would become too much to balance for one person. I can easily see the mental work of keeping 6 different horses in “work” becoming a looming, never-ending pile of work. Add that to a demanding job, and I can see why you are starting to feel overwhelmed. I don’t know anyone who could have kept up with that for as long as you have, but it doesn’t mean that you have to keep up the pace forever. Even assigning short-term breaks to a few horses might help alleviate some of the stress, and free up some time for you. Performance horses are often put on breaks, if only to keep them mentally fresh from time to time.

Really assess though, if you can let some of them be “finished.” Even for a little while! :yes: Try it on for a month, see how it feels. If you feel really daring, don’t ride ANY of them for a month (or a week, or whatever time period is suitable), and see which ones you miss the most!

Since you don’t sound like showing is your goal, it might be really helpful to frame your personal goals for these horses too. “Straightness” is something that you can improve forever…so that’s a self-defeating sort of goal, because it isn’t an endpoint. You won’t ever be done. “8 strides of good leg-yield”…THAT’S a goal. “Trotting for 27 minutes with a steady pace”…that’s something you can achieve. I decided that my big mare was “finished” once I could put other riders on her, with confidence. My TB was “finished” once he successfully completed a 2’9" Jumper round at Indoors.