Mistakes you made when you first got into horses

[dungrulla]

I’m reading back on my post history, since I’ve used COTH on and off for several years, and am reflecting on mistakes I made back in those early days. At the time I was 23, and had recently acquired an unsuitable horse that I SWORE was everything I wanted that I had really been somewhat pressured into taking by someone I am unfortunately no longer friends with–I’m not going to get into that story, it’s not related to this one.

I made a frankly shocking number of errors in judgment and hope maybe someone googling ‘first time horse ownership’ might hit across this thread and give it a nice read through before they make bad decisions. I still have the horse, and I don’t regret having him because I love him and he’s my friend and he will be with me for the rest of his days no matter how many or few there may be, but I could have made better choices.

Anyway, here are some bad decisions I made:

I adopted a horse off the track with no retraining

OTTBs off the track are, for the most part, NOT good choices for first time horse owners even if all you intend to have is a pasture pet. They are hard keepers, demanding, and have a lot of quirks. Unless you’re committed to feeding the hell out of it and waiting a long time–possibly forever–for the animal to be rideable, there are far better choices for the adult ammy.

I let my heart lead me

He was cute, I was attached. There was no good reason I should have been given this horse, even under a ‘you can try but he’ll probably never be rideable’ disclaimer. I secretly hoped in my heart of hearts this would one day change. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

I was in denial of what I really wanted

I swore up and down I didn’t want to ride, which was of course easy to do because I didn’t have a horse I could ride. At the time I was also having significant pain issues. In the meantime I’ve discovered I have rheumatoid arthritis and now that it’s being treated can enjoy riding several times a week on horses that are actually safe for me to ride. Some days are harder than others but I get in the saddle as much as I can.

Also shoutout to @candyappy who called me out on this privately in DMs and told me I should lease a horse and ride the shoes off it and leave the other one alone. You were right, friendo LMAO

I let people pressure me into doing stupid things

I swore up and down I did not take that animal under pressure from anyone else, and I did in fact get attached and feel very bad for him but if the idea hadn’t been put into my head I probably would not have. And the much more experienced person who gave him to me frankly should have known better. At the time I was not looking for a horse at all (I wasn’t in horses at the time), but had been advised dozens of times that I should get one anyway. In the long term it did work out for me, horses are a passion of mine and I’m glad I found the hobby again, but there were safer and less-heartbreaky ways to do it.

This isn’t to say it was this person’s fault because it was 100% not their fault, it was my fault for letting my heart lead me above my head. I was an adult culpable for my own decisions. But I also didn’t know what I didn’t know, and as a person with at least some experience I wouldn’t give a horse like that to a person like me at 23 in a million years.

I didn’t have a support system

All I had was one friend. I didn’t know anyone else in the community. That meant I had no connections and nobody to turn to if I got in over my head. And this was mostly because…

I didn’t take lessons first

…I’m sure everyone on COTH is shocked to hear I thought my high school lessons I’d taken five years before on steady-eddies would be sufficient for fixing an off the track thoroughbred with very severe behavioral issues.

I continued not taking lessons after I got the animal

…Probably as shocked as they’d be to find out I then didn’t take lessons after I acquired him for almost three years, after I’d FINALLY given up on getting on him.

I didn’t hire a trainer

Which if he had been sound he’d have desperately needed because we were both green beans and I had no earthly idea of what I was doing. I’m honestly so lucky I wasn’t badly injured or killed.

I didn’t do comprehensive diagnostics

To identify the health issues he had. Which leads me to the last point…

I lacked sufficient funds to do what the animal needed me to

…Horses are expensive. Don’t buy them unless you can afford a few thousand dollars upfront for diagnostics or you can afford pet insurance. This is way more true than it was in 2014 because something safe and not half-dead is about ten grand now. I don’t buy new equines now unless I know upfront I can afford vet bills and a long stay with a trainer.

Anyway I hope this is a useful thread for others. I’m sure some of you remember my early threads and the comedy of errors they represented. I at least hope I’m doing better these days…I acquired another green bean (some of you probably saw the thread) but this time have a trainer in my corner and experience and so the experience is going much better.

Feel free to add your own early mishaps as you see fit, fellow adult ammys.

[moonlitoaksranch]

I was fifteen and no one in my family knew anything about horses. I had my mare for less than a week. I thought it was okay to use a rope around her neck while I bridled her. She panicked and set back. I tried hard to loosen it, but she was too strong. She was choking right in front of me. I looked her in the eyes and tearfully begged her to trust me as I tugged at that rope. She relented, stepped towards me, and I got the rope off. Then, I hugged her and cried for I don’t know how long. I never, ever, made that mistake again.

[shiloh]

Oh dear lord what did I not do? So many mistakes. Fortunately I had a horse that was an absolute saint. I may not have really appreciated her at the time but as the years go by I appreciate her and my last horse so very very much. And all the patient people I encountered over the years.

The things I put that poor horse thru: combing her mane and tail with a thinning comb, giving her vigorous curries with a metal curry comb, asking he to go places that make me cringe now and much much more…bless her for not killing me. RIP Tetonia Anna Marie

After I got her I thought I was soooooooo smart so I went out and got a mustang and I was going to train her. Nope and nopetty nope nope. She was pregnant and her foal was one of the most wretched difficult animals I have ever ever encountered. Fail.

Last horse had his baggage and I learned to deal with a real horse that spooked and got irritated when things did not go his way and he taught me a lot. I wish now that I could have lived up to his expectations and needs. RIP Sharpe’s Diamond aka Shiloh.

[dungrulla]

I’m afraid to ask what happened to said foal.

I’ll admit to calling my mule Sal ‘Salisbury steak’ when he’s working my nerves. I’m lucky he’s not actually very difficult as of yet.

[shiloh]

I kept her for many years, actually got her saddle broke but she needed a male rider. I donated her to a trainer in SoCal and I lost track of him. Last I heard from him was that he had given her to another woman and that they were doing ok. I wish I had known then what I know now and that I had known some of the people I have access to now. The story might have turned out different. She would have made a great cattle horse or NATRC competitor.

Regrets…yeah I have a few…

[clanter]

@dungrulla

OTTBs off the track are, for the most part, NOT good choices for first time horse owners even if all you intend to have is a pasture pet. They are hard keepers, demanding, and have a lot of quirks. Unless you’re committed to feeding the hell out of it and waiting a long time–possibly forever–for the animal to be rideable, there are far better choices for the adult ammy.

We had one thoroughbred, she had a pasture injury as a weanling damaging her right front leg, she was never ride-able but was most loyal to her chosen pasture mate who never liked any other. She worshiped the ground he walked on, always close by but not in his way. They would be by themselves separated from all others. Horse was of very good blood lines and had two speeds even with only three good legs…walk and Run As Fast As a Bullet.

She was very loyal (but completely worthless)

[dungrulla]

I feel lucky my guy will gladly go out with about anyone, though if he’s alone he loses his marbles. We were short a horse earlier this week and he was even fine being thrown in the round pen with the mule for a couple days.

[Texarkana]

Everyone makes mistakes. No one should feel bad about that. Anyone who says they never made any is lying.

The important part is that we learn and grow from the mistakes. It sounds so easy, yet so many don’t do it.

[Mango20]

When I first got into horses, I was incredibly lucky that at 6 years old, my family moved right next door to a riding school run by a British Horse Society and Pony Club trained instructor. Sure, I did stupid things, but at least there was the structure and expectation to do things correctly. At 10 I was the guinea pig to get thrown up on unbroken two year olds, or try to sort out difficult ponies.

At 11, my parents finally relented and were ready to buy me a horse. We looked at several perfectly suitable horses, but I chose the 8 year old large pony who had been left alone since an unsuccessful attempt at training when she was 2, and had just had two months under saddle. She was flighty and green but I loved her. It actually worked out okay in the end and she took me through my B in Pony Club and training level eventing, but I think I would have progressed much faster in my riding if I had started out with a more suitable horse.

The scariest mistake I made with that horse was tying her directly to a screw eye attached to the outside of the barn. She pulled back, and ripped out the screw eye along with the 8’x4’ piece of T1-11 plywood it was attached to as well as the attached 4x4’ stall door. She understandably freaked out and went galloping off with all that wood flapping along with her. Surprisingly, she was relatively unhurt but did end up with hematoma and eventually a dent in the muscle on her shoulder.

[candyappy]

@dungrulla

Also shoutout to @candyappy who called me out on this privately in DMs and told me I should lease a horse and ride the shoes off it and leave the other one alone. You were right, friendo LMAO

I did? I don’t remember that my memory has never been very good( very selective) but I am glad it was good advice for you!!

I myself did all the wrong things. First horse was a weanling I bought at 13. I had learned to ride at 10 and had my own POA before that, but I took on his training all on my own.

I still marvel that I am here!!

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

I rode as a kid, but just walk/trot/canter and when I first started riding as an adult some of the doozies I made were:

1. Picking out the first barn I rode at because it had a nice name and was pretty, with forest green trim and matching blankets and tack trunks.

2. Not realizing said barn mostly had very roughly trained horses not suitable for beginners.

3. Not picking a barn to learn at with an indoor, and with an outdoor ring that was either flooded or frozen over much of the year.

4. Not expecting to be treated with respect by my instructors, who were sometimes an hour or more late or yelled at me if I struggled with a skill or was afraid.

5. Assuming someone was a good rider if they rode a horse that bucked/ jumped big only riding once a week and so forth.

6. Doing fairly major barn chores like cleaning out all the stalls because I felt badly for the instructor/owner (who seemed perpetually short of money and time), with absolutely nothing in exchange.

7. Not taking dressage lessons first.

8. Not being able to evaluate the care of the barn and horses I rode properly and understanding the effect vet care and tack fit has upon the ability of a horse to move well.

[findeight]

All the above and more.

But, bottom line, underestimated the actual costs of horse ownership. My horses suffered for that in my early years of ownership. Not listening to anybody would be a close second.

[Paint_Party]

My first horse was an ill-bred, barely broke red hony. I had never taken a lesson in my life, so I was a wild child with a wild little horse. It’s a wonder I survived, because I’d do pretty much anything on horseback on a dare.

Once I became “civilized” under the tutelage of a trainer, my biggest mistake-- which was repeated often— was becoming smitten with pretty horses. They could be crazier than a loon, hotter than a firecracker, but if they were fancy and moved elegantly, I was in love. It’s no wonder I earned a reputation for riding and showing hot horses. That’s what I always bought!

It finally got to the point where my sister, who was a more level-headed horsewoman, would hold a sort of intervention, and force me to evaluate a horse’s disposition and trainability before she’d give her blessing to me buying it.

[shiloh]

LOL! You sound like me. If it’s grey, then I’ll buy it.

[endlessclimb]

Fell in love with the first one I saw - a 3 year old green broke bucking moron of a horse. Through sheer stupidity, stubbornness, and an inability to give up, I turned him into Saint Niko. Many lessons, many deckings, many ass-rippings, many “hold my beer” moments got us here…

Honestly though, best mistake I ever made. I wonder if I got a more broke horse if I would have gotten bored with it? I was 13 when my parents bought him for me.

[TheJenners]

Mistakes when I first got into horses? Uh… getting into horses

[c0608524]

Biggest mistake was staying at my first lesson barn far, far too long. The owner was (still is actually) extremely toxic. Felt like it was my only option to ride, which in hindsight is something the BO instills in all her clients.

Took about a decade of growing up to see what was going on. The cattiness was unreal. BO would eventually have an issue with everyone at some point. Turns out there was a common denominator with all issues and it was her. When it was my turn to be the “issue”, I was settled enough into my career that I said “Thanks for everything, but I won’t be continuing in your program”, and left. The relief I felt was unreal.

I then went and bought a horse (now have two!), truck, trailer, and board at a quiet barn. I am a far better horse person than who I was when I left.

Went on a bit of a tangent. But, I still stand by my biggest mistake was waiting to leave. I hope if anyone reads this and feels the same way I do, know that it is not normal and it’s ok to move to another program.

[danhelm441]

Ha! Where do I start? Unfortunately, I’m sure if I hadn’t made those mistakes, I would have made others.

My biggest piece of advice is to get an appropriate horse. So many other mistakes can be avoided if you just avoid making that first one. The trouble is that it’s easier said than done. And especially as a first-time owner, you’re easily led astray—either by your own gut instinct, or by following the advice of well-intentioned but misguided horse friends and mentors.

[findeight]

And learning to tell the difference between good advice from good horsemen and bad advice from idiots, jerks, bullies and somebody trying to sell me something earlier in my ownership journey would have been helpful. And, no, I am not a better horseman because of them, more like in spite of them.

[danhelm441]

@findeight

And learning to tell the difference between good advice from good horsemen and bad advice from idiots, jerks, bullies and somebody trying to sell me something earlier in my ownership journey would have been helpful. And, no, I am not a better horseman because of them, more like in spite of them.

100%! And you attract that type of advice significantly more with a horse that’s beyond your skills to ride and keep rideable. It’s a domino effect.

My other piece of advice would be to trust that you get what you pay for. It’s too easy to be penny wise and pound foolish where horses are concerned. Don’t give yourself “credit” for thinking you’ve discovered a diamond in the rough—a bargain horse, saddle, farrier, vet, trainer, etc.—when you are just starting out. Maybe an experienced horse person can be discerning enough to recognize a good deal when they see one, but as a newbie you’re almost certainly going to pick someone/something that is cheap for good reason.

Also, as far as all the training advice you get when you’re figuring things out with a new horse, realize there is no silver bullet. There’s no substitute for just showing up and putting the work in every day. In my experience, training is not as complicated, subtle, or nuanced as the books/internet videos I read/watched made it out to be. It’s about creating good habits, and being consistent and patient enough to stick around as they develop. All that is probably too boring and slow to make for interesting content.

By the same token, my personal experience says to be wary of professionals who are too into their own “process.” I’m talking about people who believe their methods are unique, who try to brand their approach, insist on certain tack, certain cues, etc., and are very preoccupied with theories and practices of horsemanship. On the face of it, no, there’s nothing wrong with it, but when you get into the practical realities of training horses, like I said, there is nothing all that complicated or proprietary about it, and no technique that can substitute creating a good routine and good habits. Now that I understand that a little more, the theoretical horsemanship stuff sounds more and more like bullshit to me, and I feel automatically distrustful of anyone who thinks their take on horsemanship will solve problems that only time and consistent management can actually solve.