More barn drama! (you know you love it) FINAL UPDATE page 13

[lorilu]

[QUOTE=shelly;7878937]
You know, since you have her responding to her via text. Why not respond to her with… “I am sorry that this arrangement had to end this way but, as you know, you are behind in 6 months in boarding fees owing $XXX.XX. I need this money as much as you do. How are you going to pay this back, do you have tack, etc. that could be given to me in lieu of payment?”

Then, if she does return your text and if she does agree with what she owes you maybe you would have a case to hold her tack until she pays you???[/QUOTE]

Yes, create a text thread that spells out your side of the story,what she owes, etc. This could be very important in case of a lawsuit… filed by either side (you left her horse out in the cold… whatever.)

[bambam]

[QUOTE=Ghazzu;7878549]
At this point, I’d turn her horse out and leave it out.
Take her stuff out of your tackroom and lock it, and leave her gear in the empty stall. Feed and water the horse, and that’s it.

And put a bottle of champagne on ice for when she pulls out of your driveway with the horse.[/QUOTE]
:encouragement: This

[Crockpot]

At this point, I’d turn her horse out and leave it out.

personally, I would not do that if the horse would not be comfortable with that but would get owner out of my barn asap.

[Crockpot]

At this point, I’d turn her horse out and leave it out.

personally, I would not do that if the horse would not be comfortable with that but would get owner out of my barn asap.

[kdow]

[QUOTE=DressageFancy;7878819]
Yes, I have. I knew up front that I would be 5-6 months out on receiving board payment. This person had a very good reputation and came to me with excellent references. All references said the same thing when contacted. That person would pay as soon as the unhappy incident in their lives was resolved and that incident was actively being worked out. I took two horses for her and at the end of 5 months she delivered me a nice fat check.[/QUOTE]

This is about what would’ve happened if I’d had a horse at the time my husband died, because we were dumb and didn’t set things up sensibly and so my income was limited until his estate was settled, which was delayed for a couple of reasons totally outside my control. So I would’ve been quite upfront about the situation and made sure we were keeping good records of what I owed, and paid up as soon as possible.

Though that experience is also why I now have a savings account I am working on that is essentially just for horse expenses - so it can sit there and exist once I have a horse, and should I have sudden income issues or what have you, I still have a cushion to keep paying the horse expenses until I either get back on my feet or I can sell the horse to a good home, depending on how things look regarding being able to pay for horse expenses in the future. (Good home meaning I don’t want to have to sell to the first person who comes along even if they seem shady, because I need to get rid of the horse. Horse doesn’t deserve that.)

I think the key really is that someone who needs help will be upfront about it and have some kind of plan or updates that make sense, rather than just putting things off until the next thing comes up. I mean, sometimes problems do happen when you’re already dealing with something else, but that’s when you’d expect the person to come to you about the new hiccup, or start talking about a lease or something, not when they should be spending money on stuff like supplements or other care ‘extras’ that the horse could manage without for a bit. (Not stuff medically necessary, but if you can’t pay board, you don’t need to be buying buckets of shiny-coat supplement, yknow? Horse doesn’t care how shiny it looks.)

[js]

I wouldn’t take it out on the horse, it can’t help being owned by an idiot. Do what needs to be done for the horse but nothing for the owner other than to get her out and as quickly as possible. Text her that she owes $XXX and you want it now, in full and in cash. Threaten small claims court if you need to but with fruit bats like this any threat might back fire with returned threats; in some cases it’s best to have them gone and forgotten. That doesn’t help with what is owed but decide what is the best path to pursue getting your money, if you think it is possible. I hope for the horse that it goes to a good home with a new owner!

[gumshoe]

The OP knows the horse probably better than its owner knows it at this point. The OP can determine whether or not the horse would be okay left outside. That would be my plan. Turn it out and leave it out (as long as there was some health issue).

I would also be really, really hoping she would take the horse elsewhere for the lease trial. Then have those huge concrete blocks delivered to the end of the driveway as soon as she left. Or just park my truck at the end of the drive blocking it. But that probably won’t happen.

Completely in favor of turning the horse out, putting her stuff in the stall and locking everything up that doesn’t belong to her. I wouldn’t hold the tack, whether that is “legal” or not. I wouldn’t want to give her an excuse to stay a second longer. “You locked up my tack. I’ll have to stay until I can raise the cash to pay you because I need my tack.” Oh hell no.

[Lady_Counselor]

Don’t feel bad for getting played. This has happened to a bunch of folks on here, myself included. I would never take advantage of someone and just have a hard time realizing that many people ave no problem doing it to others. My final solution is no more favors, no more riding friends. It would be nice to have someone else here to ride with, but it’s much more peaceful this way.

[Ambitious_Kate]

Can’t wait to hear how this finishes. OP, sorry this happened. Try to think ahead of all possibilities to manage yourself and your property safely as you get her out.

[spotmenow]

I like the idea about putting her stuff in the aisle/empty stall and locking the tack room. I’d send her a text and say: “In light of the 6 months of back board owed, I will no longer provide blanketing for free; you need to come and do it yourself. Your belongs are in the aisle/empty stall instead of in the now-locked tack room, also due to non-payment for services rendered.”

Still care for the horse as you have (this is not the horse’s fault), but plan on filing against her in small claims court for the back board. Even if you never see a penny of the money, the judgement goes against her credit and there has to be some consequence for her actions.

Sorry you were taken advantage of; your heart was in the right place…

[TBROCKS]

Thank you ALL for such supportive and helpful comments. Rest assured, her mare is receiving the same care she’s always gotten from me. I have a sheet on her, and if the boarder wants her blanketed, she can come out and do that for herself.
I received texts from her starting 9:30 this morning. The first one said “Happy Thanksgiving! I will be bringing someone to try Mare tomorrow. Thanks.”

Not “can I” or “do I have permission” or even “what time works”. Just putting me on notice that a stranger will be riding on my property tomorrow. NOT. HAPPENING.
I sent a text telling her this wasn’t happening, and reminded her that December 8 is her last day to have the mare here. I began receiving nasty texts, including catchy phrases such as “What is the problem?” “Why do you hate me?” “I’m trying to do as you told me to do which means I need to get rid of her”. “I don’t understand why you’re making this so difficult. It’s not my fault that you let me stay without paying, I thought it was OK”. And THIS is when I lost it : “We helped you as much as you let us. You have thrown me under the bus, stabbed me in the back and rubbed salt in the wound. What the hell did I ever do to you? I loved, respected and admired you.”

So I sent back this response:
Are you KIDDING me. You USED me. You helped? WHEN? You drove up here Sunday, and didn’t so much as glance at her demolished stall that was left for me to clean. You peeled off her sheet after you rode Saturday, and left me to blanket her after I TOLD you she was being obnoxious about being blanketed. Have you ever scrubbed her trough? You assign us tasks as though we’re your unpaid hired help. My husband hoofed it home all summer to bring YOUR mare up at YOUR request. WE PAID YOU FOR A FREEZER WHEN YOU OWED US MONTHS OF BOARD MONEY!!! Who DOES that? Hear me loud and clear. THIS IS YOUR FAULT. And if you continue to harass me on my day off, Thanksgiving Day, you can come and get your mare TODAY.
So far, crickets. Bye, Felicia.

[shelly]

“I don’t understand why you’re making this so difficult. It’s not my fault that you let me stay without paying, I thought it was OK”. WHAT!?!?!?!??! That is where I would have lost it!!!

I like your response… hopefully she’ll quietly pick up her mare soon…

[BeeHoney]

I would just add that at the point when things go south with someone, it’s far better to communicate verbally (in person if possible), and lay out all of the issues in a clear manner. If necessary, you can then back up what you have said with written notice, etc.

I know you aren’t a professional BO, but trying to settle matters in one clear conversation (and refusing to get drawn into any kind of a back-and-forth text/note/message situation) will help keep this kind of drama from invading your life any more than it already has.

[spotmenow]

@TBROCKS;7880417

I received texts from her starting 9:30 this morning. The first one said “Happy Thanksgiving! I will be bringing someone to try Mare tomorrow. Thanks.”

If I were you, I’d hang around all day tomorrow to make sure she doesn’t show up with that person to try the mare. Because I wouldn’t be surprised at all if she does, despite your directive.

Also, I understand why you lost your cool and sent that text in response, but I wouldn’t respond anymore. If I did, it would be very factual. “You owe me $xxx for services rendered. Your mare needs to be moved on or before December 8th.” Hopefully she won’t show up in person to harass you, but if she does, I’d have no problem calling the cops.

And once more, after she’s moved the mare, file against her in small claims.

[Alagirl]

[QUOTE=BeeHoney;7880539]
I would just add that at the point when things go south with someone, it’s far better to communicate verbally (in person if possible), and lay out all of the issues in a clear manner. If necessary, you can then back up what you have said with written notice, etc.

I know you aren’t a professional BO, but trying to settle matters in one clear conversation (and refusing to get drawn into any kind of a back-and-forth text/note/message situation) will help keep this kind of drama from invading your life any more than it already has.[/QUOTE]

don’t forget witnesses you can trust (in case you have to remove the body etc…)

[shea_smom]

Oh, Honey. bless your heart. Keep everything this woman has at your place, except the poor mare. I want you to get your money. this is pissing me off. Get mad, don’t let this little snot get away with this.
Sorry she bothered you on Thanksgiving.

[saultgirl]

I regularly have people knocking at my door asking if I will board their horse. I always explain politely that I don’t take boarders, but sometimes I feel badly about it. I feel a little guilty that I don’t want to let anyone else play in my sandbox.

These threads always make me feel so much better!

OP, I hope she gets out with no further drama! Keep us posted.

[TBROCKS]

@spotmenow;7880554

If I were you, I’d hang around all day tomorrow to make sure she doesn’t show up with that person to try the mare. Because I wouldn’t be surprised at all if she does, despite your directive.

Agree. Just so happens I have a lesson today. My trainer, who knows the situation and has my back, will hang out with me after the lesson “just in case”.

[jessiesgrrl]

Part of me wants a quick and quiet resolution to this horrid situation…

The immature part wants to hear how the OP kicked her sorry ass (literally) to the curb, after getting money of course, with a couple of roundhouses and haymakers thrown in for fun…

[toady123]

She just needs to be out. Yesterday. I wouldn’t engage her at all. Just get her gone.