My daughter rode horses but it seems we have a whole different outlook, in our locale, in the culture about kids and horses than other folks posting on here. Kids start young, but usually get “learn as you go along” instead of structured lessons. Horses usually are “out back” in the family barn, not boarded. Parents, older siblings, friends are who teach the beginners how to lead, tie, groom, help the kids ride bareback or with a saddle. I think expecting an 11yr old to “get everything right” might be setting the bar a little high for many kids. Certainly the horse obsessed kid will grab the knowledge and get 99% correct. Other kids need a bit of checking up before they ride, gently corrected on items they miss, so animal is clean, comfortable while being used.
Mine could not saddle her own horse at 11yrs because he was too tall, western saddle was too heavy. But she groomed and bridled him, cleaned hooves, then I put on his saddle for her. Her structured riding was done within 4H, attending workouts, getting critiques from her very knowledgeable Leader. Sit up straight, leg and rein TOGETHER, etc. She saw the other kids learning, improving as they worked on what Leader told them. Always more fun hearing it from Leader than Mom! But I also would watch daughter ride at home, though not every ride. I corrected little things as she got more physically coordinated and able to manage all those body parts at once!
Daughter got more confident, skilled, as she grew, and time passed. The other kids in our Club were pretty nice, so it was fun socially too.Daughter was in other 4H activities too, dogs, sheep, calves, so we attended various weekly meetings, clinics, competitions over the summer. Horses were the only year around club. Daughter also volunteered fot various 4H activities needing help, clinics, Special Riders Camp as a side walker, warmed up the school horses before the kids got there, saddled and bridled horses for them as she got older. Daughter had chores related to her animals that she was expected to complete daily, like stall cleaning, walking her market animals daily to condition them, training her dog. Practice posing the animals so they showed easily at Fair.
We tried the dancing lessons, which did not go well. She did not want to practice, it was not “fun”. So I was only out one term of lessons, some leotards and a pair of tap shoes. She enjoyed her swim lessons, got good basics, confident in the water. We did not get into swim competition until Middle School athletics. As she got older she did other school clubs, debate, plays. However, I am a big believer in getting a full nights sleep for kids, so activities were limited to one a semester. She did swimming, Soccer, track and enjoyed them, horses were kind of on hold with our winters, no structured riding, just fun and daily barn chores.
I have to say my daughter REALLY enjoyed winning ribbons!! With attending the local shows, being in a lot of variety of classes, she collected a quantity of ribbons. This was also true with her other animals too. As Adults we can say “ribbons don’t matter much”, but they TRULY DO! Watching the kids actually glow, smile big enough to hide their eyes when their number is called, is wonderful! That kid had to get horse (or other animal) to cooperate, perform what the class calls for, at a better skill level than the other kids to win her ribbon. She did GOOD!! Winning ribbons is a visible show of success for all to see. We hung ribbons in the living room, to show anyone who came, how proud we were of daughter and son.
As Adults we need to NOT qualify the win of ANY placing by critical comments. Winning means the kid did well, teaches kid they ARE good at stuff. Maybe not first, but still good. A little more polishing and they may win better placings.
I was pretty careful to not do things for her, that she could do herself. I held a lot of animals as she inspected them for being prepared well. Developed her critical eye. Older kids she admired helped her be a good showman, critique young animals to see WHY this was a better calf, lamb, horse, than this other one. Her animals were always being borrowed for the little Cloverbuds or Champion Showmanhip competitions to show with. Reliable to lead easily, not spooky, stand quietly for the little kids or older kids not used to that animal species.
Guess what I am trying to say, is that child is only 11yrs old. Does she do ANYTHING fun with the pony? Just hop on and ride the fences checking for things needing repair? Learn some games or gymnastics on him? Not always riding equitation perfect? Looking back, it was just kind of “expected” that daughter would ride horses, join 4H, show. No rigid time frame learning, not a lot of structure until about age 11, when she could manage the large horse. She rode the little old horse as a young child, 6+, but horse was broke to death, reliable to be obedient unsupervised walking the fencelines. And if horse wanted to nibble grass, it was OK. She was the Boss, horse cooperated. We went riding at parks with daughter on a leadline at that young age, ate “trail ride food” out of our saddlebag! Whole family went, with her adored older brother riding too, so she expected to be like him as she got older, riding on her own.
Daughter trained her horse to do more activities as she got older, wanted to compete in more classes during a show, then with Riding Team in High School. I told her what was required to be good, set out the steps to follow, said “no shortcuts” during progress. She had al ready seen some poor results for othe kid’s rushing training, so was very coperative about that. She dId a lovely job with the horse training, horse clearly understood his job in seveal different games and had a good time running!. She did all the work, I gave some pointers that were big horse modifications suiting his size. Little horses run patterns differently. He was a pretty reliable winner, which I always gave her the training credit for when talking to others. Few could believe such a big horse could place so well in speed against the smaller animals. She did not always win first or second in all her showing, but no one else did either. She learned you win some, lose some, not a crisis with lower or no placing. Lots of other kids in the same boat with her!! Gave her confidence to try again, try new stuff, see how it went. That is BIG with girls, confidence to try again, do new things.
I knew pretty soon that kids enjoyed the horses, working with and riding them, but neither was “driven” to be a horse person, lIke myself. They are born that way or not, can’t change it. My Mom said I was horse oriented from a toddler age. Looked for equines out car windows, rode pony rides, cried when dragged away. I was very glad the kids enjoyed our horses, helped us in our adult competitions as kids got older. Neither has horses now, probably never will, though one works in the horse industry.
Maybe OP can change expectations, get DD involved with other horsey kids to make it more fun. Lower her expectations a bit, without pony being harmed, to get some fun in the picture for DD.
Have to smile at this. When I went away to college, I no longer had transportation, because my parents, like most in those days, didn’t see why any college student needed a car. Students were supposed to be in class, doing homework and projects, and socializing with each other on campus. I did have a bicycle with me for tiny trips into town in case something was needed from the drugstore.