I got pretty sick in 2015, a couple of surgeries, all nothing to do with horses. But you know what, it made me much bolder in the saddle. I figure I would much rather check out doing something I love than withering away in a hospital bed from a long illness. From what you’ve written, it sounds as if horses are your respite away from family and you shouldn’t give in to their fears. Good luck in finding those compromises you can live with and be as happy as possible . … life’s too short to give up something you love, even if it takes some adjustment to keep up with it in later years.
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Come over to the dark side. Take up dressage. You will be surprised.
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Your family is right, you need to seriously re-evaluate your life with horses.
The body gets old. Some bodies get old earlier than others. Maybe you should stop and consider yourself lucky that you were able to ride UNTIL you were 65. Many do not get that opportunity.
My father had to quit riding in his 40s due to a bad back. I drove a good part of my 20’s & 30’s because of spine issue. I did ride again in my later 30s, but had to give it up completely because a mangled ankle. So no riding past my early 40s. I had to choose between walking or riding. Walking is the much more important of the two.
And you are whining about not being able to ride at 65.
I have found that the worst complainers of the over 60 set are the luckiest ones. The people I know who have been in pain or faced limitations for years bear aging gracefully. The one who haven’t had major issues whine constantly about not being able to do something at 65 or 70. Get over it, you were damn lucky to do what you did. Many, many others are not that lucky.
Quite frankly, the “OMG, what will I do without a horse” drama I don’t find amusing at any age. People live without horses all. the. time. Again, you were lucky to have had a horse at all. Not riding or jumping is an inconvenience, it is not life ending.
Maybe I’m a little tough, but I have had too many 60+ folks tell me, often dramatically, “Wait until you get to be my age.” Guess what, I didn’t have to wait. Lucky me. You, OTH, are lucky but too blind to see it.
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Hang in there…I so understand how hard it is to come to terms with aging changes…it does feel like ones body is a traitor sometimes. Your post helps me realize how important it is to get some praise for still making the effort. Sometimes getting on is a real victory! I hope support here is coming to you loud and clear.
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red mares, I hear you.
I’m in the no longer riding crowd and it is not fun. I miss riding and spending time with my horse more than you can imagine but it just isn’t practical or safe for me any longer. I’m sitting here with a lump in my throat even now as I type this.
OP, figure out how to keep horses in your life and keep yourself safe. It can be done 
Red mares, I am very sorry for your situation. That sounds awful, and I agree, that given the choice between riding and walking, you made the right choice.
But I have some problems with your response. Rather than offering the OP any constructive advice, you just replied, in effect “Oh, quit your bitchin’. Other people have it worse.” Which is an accurate, though not kind, response to 99.8% of the world’s complaints. There’s always someone whose had it worse, but it’s rarely helpful to point that out to the person who is in distress at the moment. In much the same way that telling someone that they’re too emotional rarely makes them less emotional.
And I didn’t perceive the OP’s post as whining or complaining, but as a request for advice, as in “How do I navigate between my own wants/desires and the wants/desires of my family?” A question I’ve been asking in one form or another for most of my time on earth.
All horse problems are “first world problems.” We are all incredibly blessed to have these magnificent creatures in our lives in any form at all.
OP, hang in there and ride for as long as you can.
Redmares,again, sorry for your situation.
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Good for you OP for navigating a difficult situation. I have no useful experience but I think you’re on the right track.
You may also want to consider dressage, western, or Australian stock saddles (without horn) to provide some more security in the saddle. Jumping saddles are made to get us out of the saddle, for better or for worse. You may really enjoy them with your new focus on flat work.
I’m 63 and now starting my second Decade Team horse in Endurance. Which means by the time my new horse and I have our ten years of 50+ mile rides together on our record, I’ll be 73. And all our conditioning and training is done as solo rides, just she and I together. Up and down mountains, miles of trotting along gravel roads, through fields and woods far from home. I bicycle a lot (with a local club) to keep my legs in shape and strong, and that’s my secret for being a stronger equestrian rider. 
You might want to think about it!!
I’m not the oldest Endurance rider in this sport, either - an 80+ year old endurance rider was on the cover of this January’s Endurance News magazine. I did foxhunt up to about age 60, but decided it was too extreme for my taste anymore. I do have a good friend who is still hunting (2nd flight - non-jumping) at 67, and another one hunting 2nd flight at age 80.
For what it’s worth - I had my hip broken in my 20’s. Got kicked in the ribs by my brother’s horse and sent flying. When I hit the ground is when the hip cracked. Doesn’t always have to happen being ejected from a saddle. Everyone else I know that had a broken hip had it from falling down: cycling, walking, climbing, stepping off a curb. So there you have it! It can happen anytime, anywhere.
If you like dressage, go for it. Or trail riding, or carriage driving. You can’t live your life according to someone else’s expectations. If you do, you’ll regret every day of it for the rest of your life.
And my condolences to having a family that is anything but supportive. That really sucks.
red mares - Sweetie, if you aren’t doing so already, you need to get some counseling for what’s going on with your emotions regarding your inability to ride anymore, and/or your family’s history. There is way too much pent-up anger and rage in your initial response to the OP. Waaay too much, and waaaay over the top. It wasn’t healthy the way you lashed out at the OP, and by default, a lot of us here on this board. Not at all healthy.
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Caveat: Haven’t read all responses, so apologies if this is a repeat. But, OP, it seems like your problem wasn’t so much returning to riding, but trying to do more than your body was ready for. In your discussions with your family, I might be inclined to emphasize this point, and to outline your plans to make sure it doesn’t happen again (e.g., sticking to flat work only for XX amount of time to make sure that your fitness and reflexes have returned sufficiently, perhaps doing some longe lessons, off-the-horse fitness plans like yoga or pilates to help bolster your weak areas, etc.).
From your post, it sounds like a few jumps were fine and you should have ended there. But you overestimated your ability and tried for that line, darn it all! Yeah, a lot of us have been there, done that, sheepishly worn the t-shirt. But the good thing is that now you know you need to give yourself a lot more time and take things more slowly. I’m sure your family can come to see that, too.
:eek:
Seems a bit presumptuous…
This comment rates, for me, right up there with all the people who presume to tell me they know how I feel when, in fact, no they do not until they’ve walked in my shoes.
Harsh, Red Mares.
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May be not the same but… I’ve suffered from osteopenia from an early age. That is the previous step to osteoporosis. I’ve had many bad falls and my family obviously was very concerned about it. Specially my husband. After my second serious fall (broken knee) when he came to hospital he said that that was it. No more horse riding at all. And I told him that, if I wasn’t to be able to ride anymore, I didn’t care whether I was able to walk anymore either.
I’ve never heard a complaint since then, even after a bad fall this summer, broken sacrum and pelvis (my +17hh hanoverian stumbled and fell, and I fell with him).
I’m taking it easy after that, but the thought of not riding anymore never crossed my mind. I’m 54 now but diagnosed with osteopenia at 38.
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I’m about to turn 65, ride a calm OTTB, and I suggest not throwing the baby out with the bath water. It is possible to minimize risk to the point where riding can still be a sensible choice. I have osteoporosis, and I do not want to fall, so I no longer jump and always try to aware and avoid risk wherever possible. I cast a look around when mounting to see if there is anything that might cause a sudden spook. When it is cold and windy and my horse is up, I may not ride or may just opt for a relaxed walking hack. I stay as fit as possible, so I can adapt to sudden moves. I keep my horse’s training and manners up, so that he stays a dependable ride. I basically just try to do everything I can not to fall, so that I can keep riding. I have been lucky so far, and hope that my luck holds. I think your plan to ride your steadier paint is a good one and wish you the best of luck.
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I’ll be 69 in June and my 22 y.o. Paint gelding and I are headed for a century ride in about 4 years. We’ve been together for 16 years. I rode a bit when I was a kid, but not enough to call myself a re-rider. Beloved gelding has only one flaw, which is that he is spooky. Before I had a secure enough seat to stick with him, I spent a lot of time on the ground. A lot. One day in 2002 we were trotting down a lovely dirt road and he stumbled and fell to this knees. I rolled off and didn’t break anything, but did shred a lot of the nerves controlling my right arm. Many have come back, but some haven’t, and won’t. But I did get back on and got beyond most of my fear. I did give up cantering fairly early on, however. I have had a couple of enthusiastic teenage girls who were more than happy to ride him. He galloped the current one across the hayfield yesterday in 1.5 feet of snow and they had a blast.
I still ride about 30-60 minutes a day, 5-6 days a week, including mornings before work. We have found a lovely balance and lovely relationship and I’ve never been ready to give it up. Mom (age 95) and late Dad were always concerned about my safety, but that was true too when I was autocrossing Porsches with my friends and single-handing a tiny yacht in Maine. It’s probably the bipolar showing. They’ve never insisted I give anything up, though I now think I never realized how generous that was. Maybe if I’d been married and/or had kids it might be different.
So I agree with those who encourage you to continue on, but perhaps modify your activities so that you can continue to enjoy your relationship with horses until you can’t swing your right leg over and back. Good luck, and most of all have fun!
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I’m hope OP is finding encouragement to work out some modifications and keep riding, if that’s what is preferred. As other posters have written, you ca n make safety a priority and still get on …asking, trail rides, grooming, etc. you can make it work. And I will repeat the urgency to up the ante on your fitness efforts. Wishing you the best…
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