My story

Hi everyone,
I ride horses probably since 5 years old.
My friends owned 2 horses when I was a child. So, I finally got the chance to be closer to horses. That was the hat I was dreaming about as horses are fantastic animals. I was training, spending time with a horse, feeding it, and walking with it. It lasted for 7 years. One of those two horses became my favorite. Then I realized that time is the most precious thing we have.

My horse died because of cramps. The wet lived between the farm of my friends. He could do nothing at that time. I remember, that before he always helped everyone and did many possible and impossible things to treat his patients. Not that time.

Sometimes destiny is cruel enough.

Now I’m 30 and I’m afraid to be emotionally connected to any horse in any way.

Did anybody have the problem similar to mine? How did you cope with that?

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Sorry the horse you bonded to died.
As Grandma used to say:
“If you don’t have them, you can’t lose them.
Your choice, how much you like all horses, that is your answer”.

Losing a horse, dog, cat, even people in your life is part of life and it hurts to lose them.
Then, they are never lost, they live in you, your memories, right?
Try to remember the good memories, that will help you, eventually, move on.
If horses are your passion, find a way to continue.
Another horse will be different, but also unique for you.

As why the horse died, you mean “cramps” as in colic, maybe of undetermined nature, tying-up, or other?


The sad thing about animals is that they do not live as long as people. 10 to 15 years for a dog, maybe 18 to 20 for a cat, 25 to 30 for a horse. We do not have them for our whole lives. It is what it is. And all animals have some fatal ailments that aren’t the same as people. Horses in particular are fragile in surprising ways, because they are prey animals like rabbits or deer. They don’t tolerate anaesthesia or surgery well, compared to dogs and humans.

As a child that’s horrifying. As adults we need to go into our relationship with any animal accepting that it’s likely we will see it through to its death. And that we can try to ensure that death is humane, kind, no excessive suffering. And then we can really value the time we have with them, and live in the moment of now like they do.

Wise choice and good care of a horse can help mitigate expensive and heart breaking medical emergencies. But at the same time, as adults we live with the knowledge of mortality both of animals and of humans. There’s no way out of this.

I would add that the way we feel about animals at age 12 is not the way we feel about them at age 30. Or 60. We can still love them, but we have some distance on things.


As why the horse died, you mean “cramps” as in colic, maybe of undetermined nature, tying-up, or other?

That were colics as owners told me.

Since that time I tried to ride horses in other places. However, I felt broken.

I think that when you put in much time and effort, feel their soul, and be with these amazing creatures, you will feel the pain on the day of loss. It was strong 12 years old horse.

But yes, you are right, we keep those who passed away in our memories. Only there we are still happy together.

There was the time when I had a raven too. His name was Phoenix. Our pittie found him damaged. Tessa, our dog, led my parents to a small black point on the snow. The rottweiler of our neighbors broke the wing of Phoenix (he totally injured it). The bird couldn’t fly anymore. We tried to treat the newbie as well as we could. I hope his life was good with us. Phonix got on well with his tailed savior. A bit later he shared the meat with tessa from his “house”.

In this case I don’t fell such a pain of the loss as I did everything I could for this bird. I think this is the main problem when you are a human. Sometimes you think that you could do more for somebody.

I totally agree with you…

Sometimes guilt and regret makes grief much worse. Sometimes as children we feel guilty about not stopping or not fixing things that the adults do. But we are children we can’t. So if you are feeling somehow guilty that you couldn’t or didn’t do enough to save that horse at age 12, remember that you had no power in the situation and it was out of your control.

It’s true that it can take a while to warm up to a new horse and that it can be less satisfying to ride a strange horse. But you can always go on ans find a new horse to love even if you lose a beloved horse.


I have suffered the loss of more animals than I can even remember.

Sadly death is inevitable in every life. I have never had your problem but my way of coping is to realize the joy of having, interacting and caring for my animals ( dogs, cats, goats, sheep, chickens, cows and horses) is necessary for my sanity and far outweighs the pain of loss when that time comes.

We can choose to shut ourselves off from what we love, so we won’t experience possible pain and heartache but that is not living but merely existing and so much passes us by. Life is all about taking a chance.


Thank you all for your support :blush: Is so kind of your side.
I feel much better now…

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