MYOB or say something?

[Caol_Ila]

I keep my horse at a large boarding barn (livery yard over here). There are circa 60 boarders, some of whom are friends, and others are more like passing acquaintances.

Anyway, a couple days ago, I was riding my gelding past the mares’ field, looking at the mares, admiring how lovely they were in the evening sun, and one mare caught my eye. She was a different shape to the other mares, a shape that eerily resembled my two-year old filly last year when we discovered that she was unexpectedly pregnant. Now this horse could just be fat. But there was something about her that had me wondering.

The horse has only been with her current owners, a 14-year old and family, for about three months. She was an upgrade when the kid grew out of her pony, and they have not had an easy time with her. I’ve seen her kicking out on the ground and acting quite balky, grumpy, and unwilling under saddle. The family are more like passing acquaintances than close friends, so I don’t talk to them that much, but Mom has described maresy as “moody and opinionated,” attributing it to her being a mare. Horse passed a vet check in Feb, but then, so did mine.

About a month before she had her BOGOF foal, my filly became quite difficult to handle, which I attributed to a two-year old Kevin phase until I learned otherwise.

I’m sure these people want a foal like a hole in the head. I know the feeling! I don’t want to freak them out or be that crazy boarder who is all up in everybody’s business, but I’d hate to see what would happen if no one caught it, and she foaled down in the field full of other mares (the horses are turned out overnight), or there were complications. Say something, or quietly let the situation develop, and if the mare is pregnant, hope that she gives enough warning signs so her owners can’t miss it?

[Highflyer1]

I don’t think it would hurt to say something-- once. Just tell her your experience and that she might consider having the mare checked. Then let it go. FWIW, I’ve seen a few overweight horses that just carry the weight in a way that makes them look pregnant. Whether her mare is pregnant or just overweight, a vet check (and a muzzle if she’s not pregnant) probably is a good idea.

[Libby2563]

Agree with @Highflyer1. I wouldn’t mention anything about the mare’s behavior—just her appearance reminding you of your BOGO mare.

[2DogsFarm]

I’d say to the owners exactly what you said in your post here.
I’d also let them know I think the BO needs to know “just in case”.
If they choose to forgo a vet check, you’ve done what you could.

[frugalannie]

Assuming your barn owner/ barn manager is a good horseman, have a chat with them and let them mention it to the family without throwing you under the bus. That’s why they get payed the big bucks (hahaha).

[outerbanks77]

Yeah, I would talk to the barn manager about it and let him/her take it from there.

[findeight]

Say something. But please not to the 14 year old kid or inexperienced parents. They don’t need or particularly want your help as a random boarder and it could create panic with them and/or conflict in the barn.

Tell the Barn Owner and/or Manager who do have the authority to step in on behalf of the mare and advise the minor child and parents.

Sounds cold hearted, it’s not. And its not MYOB. But its the best choice for the mare and these owners. Its not a communicable disease or injury requiring immediate attention from the nearest person.

Have been told by fellow boarders more then a few times over many years ( decades) in boarding barns whatever horse I had at the time had some condition or other and do appreciate that they cared Just did not appreciate them telling me and other boarders that, based on their “ diagnosis” my horse needed immediate vet attention and/or to be quarantined immediately to protect other boarders horses or, yup. was preggers. All wrong and all created unnecessary barn drama. Speaking directly to the BM would have eliminated all that plus vet could have been called immediately if there was a problem requiring vet visit.

Just tell the BO/ BM/Trainer your suspicions about the health of other boarders horses. Its the right thing to do. Don’t tell other boarders about your suspicions about their horse’s health or that of any other boarders, thats not the right thing to do in a boarding barn.

[2tempe]

funny, I met a woman at a show this weekend who had a very nice ISH/Connemara cross. She said he was a BOGO. She bought a mare 10+ years ago, seller said mare had been bred but did not take. Several months later bigger and bigger belly. She called seller and said something like “well that breeding that didnt take, who was the stallion???”

[Kyrabee]

My first horse (when I was in Jr High) was one of those BOGO deals. I kept her at home so I discovered the situation myself. I hadn’t yet joined 4-H. Mare was losing weight fast…yet she had a large belly and I saw it move! I asked my Mom (parents had ZERO interest in the horse) if we could have the vet out and she agreed. He said she was wormy not pregnant after simply looking at her…no other exam. Well she foaled a week later…it was a mule.

I would have liked to known before that so I could at least do some reading.

At that point, I knew bupkas about horses and my parents even less. Everyone survived. Mare started getting appropriately fed and gained weight. I sold the mule as a 1 yo as the mare would not wean her and I could find no other accommodations for the mare so I could get them apart. By that time I was in over my head and recognized that . We found out later there was a jack in the pasture but the seller said he never bothered the mares . According to the; pasture’s owner, he chased them until they gave up.

Now, how to present this possibility, I am not sure. Perhaps the BO or BM would be the place to start.

Susan

[Caol_Ila]

Unfortunately, our barn owner is a bit of a character and not an easy person to work with (then why are you at this barn? Because every other barn owner in the area is even crazier). The family aren’t novice owners – the kid had the pony for a long time, and I think Mom has had her own horses in the past.

My filly is a purebred PRE. The sire of her foal is also a purebred PRE (and her half brother ). Breeder ran a well-regarded Andalusian stud, highly recommended. You think you’re doing the smart thing, buying a youngster from a reputable stud. And it was very local. What’s not to like, especially with COVID travel bans, which made it impossible to see horses in far-flung locations. The UK government stopped us from leaving our cities or counties for a lot of 2020 and 2021. It was joyous. But some time in 2020, breeder went a bit off the deep end and stopped separating the uncut two-year old colts from the fillies. Not ideal. This year, my mare’s younger full sister, who will be three at the end of June, had a foal in March. How do I know this? The filly is still at the stud, and breeder posted it on Facebook! Are your unplanned equine teen pregnancies something you really want to advertise??

My best friend agreed to buy my foal as soon as he hit the ground, and she did. I lucked out with that. He’s a lovely, polite yearling now, currently on his way to Germany because my friend is moving there next week. Both his temperament and his mother’s are awesome, so there’s that. They are brave, smart, and gentle.I was sad to see him leave.

Anyway…I digress! might try gently raising it with Mom, if I can get her by herself.

[sascha]

Talk to the (adult) owner/s and to the barn owner. Chances are one or both may think you’re talking out your ass. However, if adult/s don’t believe you and BO does, they will get a 2nd wake up call from BO and may get smarter and take appropriate care of the mare if indeed she is pregnant. If both think you’re nuts, then at least you’ve done your bit.

I would want someone with more knowledge than me to at least attempt to set me straight. I would also appreciate that they chatted directly to me instead of through a 3rd party.

[amb]

Wow, I think this is the first “MYOB or say something” thread I’ve ever seen where I wasn’t on the MYOB side!

Still, it doesn’t have to be more complicated than “Heya, is your mare in foal? She kinda looks like it.” Sometimes another pair of eyes on something can really help.

I would stop there though. No advice unless asked.

[RedHorses]

I talked to the BO and let them talk to the horse owner. Though in my case the experience/flake was opposite to the OP’'s situation.

[S1969]

@amb

Still, it doesn’t have to be more complicated than “Heya, is your mare in foal? She kinda looks like it.” Sometimes another pair of eyes on something can really help.

Just this, if the Barn Manager isn’t easy to work with. And honestly, I can’t imagine a scenario where saying this to the BM wouldn’t also be fine.

It’s not like you care…it’s just that you noticed. It’s not like you’re offering training tips where your input would change the outcome.

And if she’s not pregnant, all the better. But if she is - at least someone might have noticed early enough to be helpful.

[Posting_Trot]

I’ve just been thinking about this question, as a long-time boarder, in terms of how people might react.

I guess I’d talk first to the (adult) horse-owner. Even if you don’t think that she or he is very knowledgeable.

Because I can imagine going to talk the BO first and then the BO says to the horse-owner, “hey Caol_Ila says your horse is pregnant!” And that’s a conversation that the horse-owner is likely to hear as, “We were talking about you behind your back and decided that you were too clueless to know whether your pony was pregnant or just fat!”

But having said that, I’d definitely mention to someone who has some responsibility over the mare.

[Scribbler]

I had a surprise foal with a pasture horse back 35 years ago. Very sad because foal was born fine but fell into a ditch and drowned the first day. I had no idea obese pasture pet had been loose with a long yearling colt the previous summer. Indeed I rode her a week before.

Saying something can prevent a tragedy. And you will be proven wrong or right in the next 3 months maximum.

As a kid I asked the guy who owned the skanky local dude string if one of his mares was pregnant. He scoffed at me. Foal was born soon after.

All you can do is say: that mare looks pregnant. Then you back off. They’ve been warned.

BTW when mares look pregnant but are just fat they need to go on a diet because laminitis etc.

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

I’m also on the DON’T MYOB side. The owners aren’t at fault if this is the case, so it’s not like you’re commenting on their horsemanship, only suggesting she get checked out for something the vet might have missed. It’s good to know one way or the other if she’s pregnant, has a weight issue, has an illness, or if that’s just how she looks/who she is. (I’ve known geldings who look permanently pregnant, after all). The fact you’re worried about offending makes it likely you’ll be polite and phrase it in the right way. It would be different if you’d been nagging them about the mare’s issues constantly, but you haven’t!

[Scribbler]

@Impractical_Horsewoman

I’m also on the DON’T MYOB side. The owners aren’t at fault if this is the case, so it’s not like you’re commenting on their horsemanship, only suggesting she get checked out for something the vet might have missed. It’s good to know one way or the other if she’s pregnant, has a weight issue, has an illness, or if that’s just how she looks/who she is. (I’ve known geldings who look permanently pregnant, after all). The fact you’re worried about offending makes it likely you’ll be polite and phrase it in the right way. It would be different if you’d been nagging them about the mare’s issues constantly, but you haven’t!

I knew an obese older mare that was dripping fluid from her udder and getting hot feet. I thought pregnant but owner said not possible. I did some research and said Cushings, owner said not possible, so I shut up. Owner had asked me to hand walk the pony, so I was involved in her care marginally, enough to report back how our walk went.

Later turned out owner already knew perfectly well horse was laminitis but was playing coy.