Oh, where to start…
#1-1985-ish, taking shareboarded young QH to a show 2+hrs away from home. Owner was generous & agreed.
Take horse to the unoccupied outdoor arena to warm up. Did not check that gate was closed…
Horse is young & fresh, bucks me off & heads out the open gate… Towards the road…
Lucky me, he knew where the barn was (after less than 2h on the property ) & went trotting back in.
#2-FF to 2004
New to Horses at Home, I begin unloading supplies at the front gate to my drylot & pastures.
Both horses are waaaaay at the far end of the bigger - ~2ac - field.
I turn to unload something, not closing the gate & both have teleported to the open gate
I’m able to slam it shut before TB makes his way out.
But TWH is headed across my 5ac, on the diagonal, to the 2-lane road that leads to SR231, a mere 2 miles.
At least I knew running after him wasn’t gonna work, so I’m speedwalking, but not before he’s crossed that road
With a pickup truck right behind him.
The God of Idjits placed my neighbors’ Hackney Ponies in the field on the other side & apparently, his 17h+ was intrigued & he stopped to introduce himself.
I do not put halters on my horses in turnout.
I use my jacket around his neck to “catch” & ask neighbor lady who came out (& whom I have not met until now ) if she has a rope…
When - again: God of Idjits - the pickup returns.
It was a neighbor I did know & we’d exchanged farmsitting, so he knew where my halters/leads were & had gone for that.
I introduce myself to neighbor lady, thank other guy & lead the truant back.
TB is most indignant he missed the field trip
#3-First of a few
I forget to latch a stall door after feeding in the morning.
I stroll down to feed late afternoon & open the service door.
To discover a Horsy Rave has taken place.
30gal galvanized cans of grain are in the aisle, near-emptied (TG, they had been not more than 1/4 full) bag of treats decimated, bales that had been neatly-stacked on pallets were pillaged, several de-twined & spread in the aisle. Then pooped upon.
Horses wearing “However did this happen?” expressions, leave the aisle & go sedately back into their stalls.
Because, if I’m there, it must be dinnertime
Of course it is Winter, so I omit any grain from their dinner, serve scant hay & settle down to observe for any sign of colic or founder
Barncat is thrilled I’m providing a lap to sit on for longer than usual.
We all survive.
#4-& My Crowning Achievement
Harness my mini to drive. It’s been a while, so I do a short tour of the drylot first.
Horse & pony are loose, as per usual, but disinterested, return to grazing in the pasture next to drylot.
He’s fine, so I decide to hit the road.
Then all Sense leaves my body
I open the 12’ gate from drylot to All Outdoors.
Walk mini & cart out the gate & turn to close gate…
Only to discover TWH has Majikally appeared at the gate & shoulders me aside as he strolls out.
Mini wishes to go too, & my pony is approaching the Exit.
I try shutting the gate 1-handed, while still holding harnessed mini.
And fail spectacularly.
I do get the gate shut on the indignant pony, but mini pulls free, sending me to my knees in mud.
Horse & mini (with cart) are headed down the road, Eastbound.
I have time to remember roadwork is in progress at the East intersection, barriers are up, closing the road to traffic.
I’m yelling for horse to come back & amazingly, he does & trots back in the gate I hold open
I shut the gate, start calling the mini.
Who is nowhere in sight
Helpful neighbor kids (NOT!) are calling mini too.
I start slogging down the road, which means scaling the 4’ ditch between my property & road.
No mini to be seen…
Then I see him.
Headed back to me, but stuck in some thorny scrub in a field just beyond my lotline.
God of Idjits (yes, again) has him tangled, but unhurt. Lines are wrapped on a wheel, acting as brakes.
I get him & cart free - scratching the bejesus out of my arms - & start walking him back.
Then (Why? Oh, Why??) I decide to get in the cart.
The aforementioned Gods weep.
Amazingly, we drive the short distance back to the farm without incident.
Sum total of damage: cart has a flat.
There are more, but I’ll stop here