Need advice - lesson girl's lame horse

[floppyammy]

I have been following this thread and I applaud your efforts to help the horse and the family surrounding it.

Horse ownership is a journey. We didn’t all start out educated - someone somewhere taught us along the way. There are so many threads bemoaning today’s lack of horsemanship skills in today’s riders. You, @endlessclimb , put skin in the game by trying to educate the next generation. It’s not as easy as it used to be. My trainers growing up were gruff, to the point, and at times could be harsh where it was warranted. But there is no place for that type of learning in today’s society.

Just a word on the dad’s resentment of horse costs - That makes the entire picture make so much more sense. My husband gets weirdly frustrated with vet bills (of which there have been many, many many over the years) but never complains about costs associated with lessons, shows, clinics, etc. It’s a weird mindset to me, but there you have it.

[endlessclimb]

@floppyammy

You, @endlessclimb , put skin in the game by trying to educate the next generation. It’s not as easy as it used to be. My trainers growing up were gruff, to the point, and at times could be harsh where it was warranted.

I try and incite fire in the young generation as often as I can (despite it going against my anti-social nature lol). I have a very safe horse to do it on, if they don’t have their own. We need young people in this sport, and not just the tippy top levels.

I am the gruff trainer. I don’t mince words. When you get praise out of me, it’s not sunshine and butterflies, it’s because you NAILED it!

Edit: something that comes out of my mouth a lot in lessons is “well, I guess I didn’t hate that, but it could be better…” I give the instruction that I got when I was that age, along with no stirrup work etc.

[OverandOnward]

@floppyammy

Just a word on the dad’s resentment of horse costs - That makes the entire picture make so much more sense. My husband gets weirdly frustrated with vet bills (of which there have been many, many many over the years) but never complains about costs associated with lessons, shows, clinics, etc. It’s a weird mindset to me, but there you have it.

I share the frustration, because of the control aspect. We can plan for the costs of lessons, shows, clinics, etc. Choose cost levels of activities, budget over time, cut back if needed, and so on.

Vet bills (not counting routine things such as vaccinations) are an uncertainty. When they will come up, how much it will be, how long it will last, re-occurrences, etc. etc.

Sometimes we don’t know for sure how large or small an issue will turn out to be. Or when the horse will be available for the next thing on the calendar. Maybe a suspensory is caught early and clears up expeditiously. Maybe an abscess turns out to be deep and recalcitrant and takes time to clear. Maybe we expected the opposite in each case and modified plans accordingly.

The longer, more uncertain and expensive treatments are the more they can make a person crazy, especially if they are trying to plan and stick with a budget.

[Angela_Freda]

Spending money to deal with the lameness now while it’s fairly new/recent/etc… could save them money in the long run.
Just something I might consider pointing out to them.

[beowulf]

Any time a parent has complained to me about the price of horses, I point out that rehab, therapy, and drugs are much more expensive. Horses are good for young kids. They can keep them so busy they don’t have time to get in trouble. They also teach them life lessons like responsibility, autonomy, and compassion.

[OverandOnward]

There is another thread about disappearing lesson programs. Lesson programs allow people to ride without all of the responsibility of ownership, without these expensive decisions.

The program has a certain cost that can be budgeted, without unexpected vet bills or even a need for a new blanket or something. And the chance to learn and make mistakes without ruining their own horse. And to learn on different horses.

Not intending to derail. These folks may need their own horse to show and collect ribbons, depending on their future ambitions. With the help of endlessclimb, they seem to be making progress.

@beowulf

They can keep them so busy they don’t have time to get in trouble.

Yes that worked a charm for me & my friends in high school. So many classmates were in trouble for drugs and … everything. I didn’t know how they had the time to even do that stuff. We were always getting ready for a show or just riding and training and trying to do better. Teaching lessons and teaching our non-horsey friends who wanted to try. Endless amounts of time spent on barn chores as we were partnered up to do self-care. We also bought and transported our own feed and hay. Picked up the hay out of a field. That was an adventure.

That’s what I remember of high school! LOL

[FjordBCRF]

I was SO disengaged from the normal high school social life, especially my own high school. My two best friends were barn friends and the three of us each went to separate high schools. I met my HS boyfriend through the one and he went to a her school and naturally got wrangled into all our horse stuff . My two friends still managed to get into some trouble, but not as much as a lot of other people. I was pretty strait laced as a kid and having a horse was definitely my biggest thing.

[endlessclimb]

I had no friends in HS because when I wasn’t riding I was working to pay for the beast lol.

[seriously1]

@endlessclimb how did it go with the kid?

[endlessclimb]

That will be this evening. I know this is hard for her to wrap her head around, and the animosity over money flow is not her fault.

She feels like a little sister to me, I see a lot of “me at that age” in her, so I can handle whatever emotions she throws my way. I had to deal with it when I told her I was moving barns, too, so I know what to expect. All will be well, I hope.

[mika0116]

probs the same thing that they think of vaccination in humans hence they’re not interested in medical treatments that “appear invasive” for the animal.

they also just sound uninformed and disinterested in furthering their knowledge. lots of people like this - i work in statistics related field - it is every damn day for me. I learn to let them experience consequences if they cannot be “logically motivated”.

[OverandOnward]

The truth is that we don’t know the source of their reluctance. There is no way to know unless they inform endlessclimb, and I don’t expect that will happen.

It is easy to guess and speculate about the reasons people do things. In my personal experience, about 95% of the time the guess isn’t even close to the real reason. When the real reason has been learned, it turned out to be something personal to them that I would never have guessed or even known about.

[endlessclimb]

Well, no lesson last night. They cancelled for what appeared to be a good reason, though I suspect the girl is really overwhelmed and asked mom to be the excuse as to why she couldn’t make it.

That’s ok. My line in the sand has been drawn, which is all that ultimately matters. I hope this isn’t the end of things, but if it is, it is.

[ShenanAnna]

When I was a kid, we were fairly poor. There was always money for showing, however; my father apparently liked the prestige, the “country gentleman” aspect; he was from a Richmond slum.

[endlessclimb]

That’s the other thing - their show schedule is NUTS. Pretty much every weekend from May until October.

Cut a few out those out, and voila you have the money. I’m pretty disappointed in them right now, but I’m going to give them time to process and reevaluate their priorities. It’s easy for those of us who have had to do it a million times to say “screw the show season, let’s get this looked at.” It would be harder the first time around, I’d think.

[Heinz_57]

@endlessclimb

It’s easy for those of us who have had to do it a million times to say “screw the show season, let’s get this looked at.” It would be harder the first time around, I’d think.

I think you are right to be disappointed, and I hope they come to their senses soon. If your (g) car has a leaky tire, do you just keep driving around on it until it goes flat and then deal with it? Or do you take the tire to the tire shop and have the leak fixed? There are both kinds of people in the world. Sometimes money is the decision maker, but other times it’s just procrastination/lack of priorities/responsibility. If they can afford to show 20+ weekends a year and buy a LQ trailer, a proper lameness exam shouldn’t be a stretch?

Horses don’t have spare tires, which is why it’s important to plug the holes before they go flat.

[JBCool]

That is a great way to describe it @endlessclimb!

[ComingAttraction]

I’d put my foot down. Either they figure it out with a vet or I’d fire them. I don’t deal with those that don’t gaf.

[Arlomine]

I have experienced several young horses who were the product of a reining program. They were the ones who were culled. Each and everyone of them could be treated like a punching bag with almost no reaction.
Three different programs, and I’m sure none of them were high quality. But all the horses were totally shut down.

[endlessclimb]

They ended up getting him looked at by the local vet. Narrowed joint spaces in the hocks, worse on the right. They injected both left and right.

I’ll see them Wednesday.