Need some advice -- considering getting a horse

[DragonflyRed]

Hi everyone,

I’m new here. Please forgive me for not making an introductory post, but forums are really hard for me. I have a neurological disorder that affects all aspects of my life. Please forgive any wording errors because of this.

I used to be an avid horse person, but then I got really sick. I have forgotten all the things that I once knew about a great many subjects, horses included. Because of this, I’m feeling more than a bit lost trying to figure out if this is something that I should move forward with or not.

I have been wanting to get back into riding for some time now, but I only recently have been to the point where it is feasible from a physical standpoint. I miss horses terribly, but the location I’m in does not have much access to ones that I might be able to ride. The closest place I have been able to find is an hour away and charges more per session than I could do on a regular basis. Because of this, my husband brought up the idea of getting a horse.

We are on two acres and have access to eight more. Part of our land is our fenced backyard that is roughly 3/4 acre. The fence is a 5’ chainlink. Across the way is a pasture that previously held horses, and I think it’s about 1.5-2 acres. The fence is barbed wire, which needs to be restrung, and the gate was broken when a tree fell on it.

I have been talking to a guy about a specific horse for a few weeks. It was primarily because I’ve been trying to figure out if it’s feasible for us to even have a horse. I absolutely love this horse. He’s on the shy side, but when I went to visit him, he fell asleep while I was giving him loves. A couple nights ago, the guy who has him called and asked if I still wanted him. Apparently he (the horse) is being bullied by his pasturemates, and the guy is worried about him. He thinks I’d be a good home for him and wants me to take him.

I’m uncertain about it for a lot of reasons, but one of the big reasons is keeping him by himself. We don’t have the resources to keep two horses, and I don’t know when that’s going to change. We’re hoping to move, but we don’t know if it’s going to happen any time soon. I was thinking I might be able to get him a pasture buddy, like if someone needs somewhere to keep their horse, but I don’t know if that would be possible given our location.

Another thing is that we’d have to put him in the backyard until we can fix the pasture, and that’s another thing that I don’t know when it will happen. Neither the pasture nor the backyard have what I’d really define as shade, although the backyard does have this place where we could theoretically put up a tarp or something until we could put up something more permanent, either in the backyard or the pasture, but again, I don’t know when the more permanent thing could happen.

Probably the biggest problem is that we’re not financially well off. I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to take care of the horse’s regular needs, but I do not know if we could come up with the money for a big vet bill. That’s not to say we for sure couldn’t, but I just can’t say for absolute certainty that we could.

I know that logically speaking, I probably shouldn’t get him. But for me, he will be more than a friend. I know this may be hard for some of you to understand, but he will be a piece of medical equipment for me. That sounds a bit cold – obviously I will love him very much. What I mean by this is that a horse will provide me with physical therapy unlike anything else. He will actively mitigate my disability and help me to get better. That may not sound like a big deal, but my disability is chronic, progressive, and has neither a cure nor a truly effective treatment. Medically speaking, all I can do is manage it. To have the opportunity to actually improve, even if it’s not a cure… I can’t tell you what that means.

If I don’t take this horse, I don’t know that the opportunity would ever come that I could get another one, or at least one that is reasonably trained that I have bonded with. I have spent quite a bit of money on purchasing my service dog, but that’s not something I could do with a horse, despite how it would help me – a horse is not something that could accompany me into the grocery store or to a job. While it would help, it would not increase my independence directly.

I know that this would help me tremendously, but I would never put an animal into a bad situation knowingly. I really need some advice on this.

[Laurierace]

That sounds like a really bad idea to me, sorry. Are there no therapeutic riding centers near you?

[red_mares]

If a horse is not financially viable, don’t buy one.

I’ll repeat that - If you can’t afford a horse, don’t buy it.

Granted this is a sore subject for me, as I have apparently been subsidizing the care of a number of horses where I board, and that board is super cheap.

Before you commit to taking on the responsibility of ownership, why not take some lessons or find a therapeutic riding center?

If you are meant to have a horse, another opportunity will present itself.

There is an older guy with a TBI where I board who just bought a horse. This was after spending significant time at a therapeutic riding facility. My barn isn’t fancy at all, but he does have help available most of the time if he needs it. I would worry about you getting in over your head physically as well as financially.

[betsyk]

That’s a tough position to be in - the land sitting right there, the horse practically walking into your lap, and the lack of other good options for horse contact. But beyond those aspects, there are a few big red flags… the cost of making your property safe and suitable… the lack of “emergency funds” in case something goes wrong… the lack of a support system, if you need short term help or a long term plan if your disease takes an unexpected turn.

So… reframe the situation. I can’t tell if you’re hoping to ride, or just spend time with a horse if you get one. Can you start networking (build that support system!) and see if someone ELSE is looking for a second horse to keep their horse company at their place? Can you find a stable with good care where you could board, knowing that if weather is bad or you get sick, your horse will be cared for every day? If riding is a big part of your plan, definitely identify an instructor who can help you now and in the future, and get back into regular lessons. I always tell families that the horse that’s suitable for a beginner child will hopefully only be suitable for a year or two, if the child is making progress. You might flip that statement and think that if a horse is suitable for your current level of ability, will it still be suitable as your condition progresses?

You might also sit down with your husband and figure out how much - exactly - each month you can devote to the horse idea. Then figure out how much “bang for the buck” you can get and what’s important. Maybe paying board isn’t the best route when you consider how many days you wouldn’t get to the barn in winter. Maybe your money is better used for riding time, if other aspects of horse time might be free if it’s a lesson horse (extra time spent at the barn grooming, cleaning tack, stable chores, etc). Having a horse at home seems great at first but when you realize you don’t have anyplace to ride, or anyone to help you, lessons and leasing sound a lot better.

Heading into winter is NOT a good time to enter into horse ownership. Take your time figuring out how a horse might fit into your life. There was a poster on here a year or two ago who was brainstorming ways to get some horse time, and found another person from her area with an older horse who needed attention but not riding = win-win situation. Here’s hoping you’ll find a solution that works for you!

[AmarachAcres]

Betsy has great advice.

For me, I just want to say I wish you the best and it sounds like you have a great husband. I really understand what you are trying to say, and I wish I could just say go for it.

Sit down with your husband and budget. Pasture repairs, feed, trimming, vaccines, training, halters, brushes, boots, wheelbarrows, pitchforks, manure disposal, etc…

Could you afford to board? Have you checked out craigslist?

Would insuring the horse be an option to help cover any emergency medical expenses?

[Appsolute]

I would recommend NOT getting this horse and trying to house it with your current set up.

Winter will be here soon - I am not sure what part of the country you are in, but that will mean snow or MUD which will tear up a yard real quick.

Barbed wire is notorious for really injuring horses - causing horrendous injuries and huge vet bills.

But I understand your situation, and how beneficial it would be to have a horse. Here is my idea:

What about working with a horse rescue? I would start seeking out and talking to rescues. Maybe one is near you, and could use someone to groom and give horses love and attention.

Maybe you could even foster a rescue horse once you improve your facilities?

My other thought is save your money through the winter. Use the savings (and the time over these months) to put up an electric fence to keep any horses off of the barbed wire (really, that is an accident waiting to happen). Research into some affordable shelter options (depending on where you are, a portable car port could even work!).

Once you have safe facilities in place - perhaps you can FOSTER a rescue horse. This way the horse could stay with you - you could both heal. But, unlike owning the horse - you would have options to give it back to the rescue should you have to move etc. It is also not as big of a financial commitment. Many rescues would cover major medical etc. Some rescues would even cover care expenses. You will also then have a network of horse people to work with.

[CHT]

I am sorry for all you are going through.

Are you planning to ride or do you just want a horse to pal around with? If the latter, then a pony might be a better option for your small amount of land.

If you are hoping to ride, have you ridden this horse? Something gaited might be a good option if you have physical issues.

Don’t fall into the trap of taking this horse “because it needs you”. An easy trap to fall in for anyone, but even more so for someone who needs to feel hope themselves.

Overall though, I agree. Get your property ready for the equine BEFORE you bring one home, and if you are planning to ride, make sure you have tried the horse being ridden ALONE and on trails before your bring it home. And to a vet check including a drug test!

[alto]

Have you looked to the local horse community for contacts? there may be alternatives to that hour distant facility.

Is there a local pony club or 4H group?
Have you gone out to any local schooling shows - often a good place to meet & chat.
Are there local feed shops, tack shops or community bulletin boards with a livestock focus? Also check the equine vet clinic.

I’d really encourage you to find someone local to mentor you with a horse/pony for several months before deciding if owning is right for you

[2tempe]

OP - Very sorry to hear about your situation. Have to agree for a number of reasons that this might not be the best time to get a horse. Tempting though it may be given the neighbor, still think you need to wait, analyze and ponder. Even fix the fencing and get the some shelter arranged. One thing that you don’t mention and I see it with a friend of mine - is dealing with the horse in all weather and being alone. Its tricky for anyone who rides when no one is around, stuff happens, even on the ground.

Gosh I wish you lived near me - I have a mare that would be great to work with in a lovely boarding barn. There are many horses that you could find when the time is right. For example, read the ads on the giveaway forum.

Good luck, keep us posted.

[AKB]

Can you replace the barbed wire fences with electric fencing and put up a run in shed now? Then, after the fencing and shed are done, see if you can foster a horse or two for a rescue. You also could foster one horse and take in a boarder so you would have some companionship for your foster horse. If everything works out well, you could adopt the foster horse.

It is not fair to a horse to take him in before you are ready for him. He could be standing out in the sun or the snow, because you haven’t felt well enough to put up his run in shed. That isn’t fair to him or to you. Be prepared ahead of time so you know he is getting everything he needs. It is very satisfying to give good care to a horse, and soul sucking to be unable to give them the care they need.

[enjoytheride]

My suggestion would be to fix the pasture, put up a small shelter, and consider something like a mini and a goat in the spring. If you network right you should be able to find a friend who would loan you a mini provided your care was adequate.

At this time you don’t sound ready or financially able to care for a full grown horse and if you had an emergency a mini might stretch your budget as well. Especially going into winter, which can suck the soul out of experienced horse people.

[Sparrowette]

I didn’t see where you are located. If you could post your location (possibly under an alter in another thread if you choose) I’m sure there would be folks here on the board who can find a trainer that might not be so far away.

I have to echo that if you are starting back to riding in an injury / disability / time off situation, you will need someone to help you along. Just buying this horse, no matter how nice he is, may not be the best thing for you.

Getting into lessons will give you the therapy and exercise you desire, while avoiding the pitfalls of “the horse who did something stupid and now needs thousands of dollars in vet care” which many of us can relate to…

Best of luck!

[Gloria]

I wish I could say, “go get the horse.” but I cannot. I’m really sorry. I also don’t believe you or your husband understands how much work, time consuming, and EXPENSIVE, it is to keep a horse at home. I guarantee you, it will be more expensive than taking lessons regularly. Go and take the lessons. Let them worry about the upkeep and maintenance of the horse. You need to worry about yourself, not the in and out of horse husbandry. It is a very small price to pay.

[Jackie_Cochran]

I have MS. I had 5 horses when I finally got diagnosed 21 years ago. I had horses to give up owning horses, even though I have my own land, because as my MS progressed I lost my strength and endurance along with all the other nasty MS symptoms. There is no way now that I could take proper care of a horse every day. That is an unfortunate affect of neurological diseases that worsen over time. By the time I got a horse ready for riding I would be too exhausted to get up on the horse. Some days, especially with winter storms, it took EVERYTHING out of me to feed and water my horses.

I still ride though. I essentially went to the nearest hunt seat stable (what I ride) and begged the lady to help me ride so I could go on being able to walk. Since I already knew how to ride she took me on, making all sorts of adjustments so I could ride (half-hour lessons at half the rate of regular lessons, with her grooming and tacking up for me.) I do not get to ride her best horses. So far my regular riding horses there have been a very sensitive Arab gelding (who did not suffer fools willingly but told me he would take care of me if I did not hurt him,) an ancient Arab mare crippled by arthritis (she is much better now) and an Arab who looks fine but has some problems with his back. Could you ask if the stable has a retiree or a horse that needs slow work to get better?

I have memory problems too. I was lucky, as I got back riding my memory improved (along with using Gingko biloba) and my horse knowledge started coming back. I walk A LOT better that I did when I started riding again. Riding helps me so much that my riding teacher lets me come out for an emergency ride if I’ve had an exacerbation, because she knows through experience no matter how bad my walking is when I get up on the horse, after half an hour on horseback I can walk decently again. I am also better able to communicate verbally after I ride.

The motion from riding a horse activates different parts of the brain than just thinking does. The motion of riding and the smell of the horse seemed to give me part of my brain back, a part that I thought might be gone forever. It was still there, it just needed some new pathways to become active again.

I hope it all works out for you. I do not recommend getting your own horse, it is just too expensive and too much work every day. I still miss owning horses, but at least I do get to ride.

[planetlisa]

Perhaps post in the horseless riders thread on Off Course.

And you know what? Never say never. Fix up your place for a horse, anyway, so you can entertain future opportunities. Maybe someday you’ll try leasing a horse, fostering ( as mentioned above ) or some other happy permutation of horsiness that is less committal than ownership.

Good luck!