Need some advice picking between two horses

[DollyDoll]

I am looking for a bit of advice. I’ve been trying out horses for the past three weeks and after trying out a little over 7 horses I’ve found two that I liked and could see a future with but the problem is I’m having a tough time deciding on which to choose from and I would really appreciate some tips and advice, they are both priced the same. Below I’ll list both horses:

1st horse Fin: He’s a 10-year-old turning 11 KWPN gelding, he’s from Europe, pretty fancy, lovely temperament and from what I could tell while riding him for two days is that he’s pretty honest and respects whatever distance I give him to the jump. He’s quite the fancy mover and honestly I sat on him and felt a really nice click with him, I felt comfortable and safe with him somehow, he was honestly the only horse I dared jump higher than 1.10m while trying them out. Problem is, I’m looking to move up to the 1.20m this year (did the 1.15m last year on my devil pony) and he’s only ever done 1.10 in competition at most from what I’ve found but he definitely had scope for more and he once did the six-bar challenge and got up to 1.75m without batting an eye. I’m just worried due to his inexperience he might not be the horse to take me to the 1.20m and also due to his age he might not last me very long so to say. I also have no guarantee that after the 1.20 he could do the 1.30 with me.

2nd horse Bronx: He’s a 9-year-old turning 10 Holsteiner gelding, he’s from Argentina, very strong but isn’t rude or pulls you but his movements are pretty strong and kinda hard to sit. First time I galloped him I swore I was going to fall off from how strong his movements were but at the same time it was kind of cool to feel the strength behind it. I did feel like I lost a bit of control with him, like he was beginning to pull me towards the jump and afterwards i had a hard time calling him back, but he was very honest and he always jumped no matter what but he did not really enjoy me trying to measure the distance and wanted to jump farther away, he is a bigger horse. He was great honestly and I know I would come to like him if i got him but we didn’t initially clicked. He has done up to 1.30m on courses and he’s never once gotten eliminated due to refusals so I’m not worried about his attitude while jumping high, what I worry is that we might not ever click as much as I might be able to ride him.

Please be gentle with your advice, but I would love to hear your thoughts on it

[supershorty628]

I don’t understand why you’re acting like there’s a giant age difference between them when they’re one year apart.

I would go with the first one, you sound much more comfortable with him, if your options are only these 2. It doesn’t sound like either is the ideal fit.

[Redlei44]

Three weeks is no time at all for a horse search, especially in this market. Is your trainer assisting you in your search? What did they think about your ride and prospects with each? The way you describe these two horses, I would say that neither are ideal and you should keep looking. You are not wrong to target horses with experience doing what you want them to do (especially since they’ll be bringing you up the levels). You are also not wrong to target horses that you “click” with, as in feeling safe and confident and fun.

However! Unless your budget is unlimited, at that level you’re going to be compromising on something. Age, experience, level of maintenance required, rideability.

[DollyDoll]

I am going with a trainer, he’s helped me out. I don’t really think three weeks is little but maybe in other countries its different.

My trainer followed me to each horse and he said I looked very much in tune with the first one and that he and I could go really far since the horse had a nice attitude and seemed very willing to listen to me.
On the other hand, my trainer did say he personally liked the second one more simply because of his strength and his experience but he didn’t think I looked as comfortable and didn’t think I clicked as well.

What he wants for me is a horse that gives me confidence and never stops at jumps since my last horse absolutely floored my confidence and I’ve started to get a bit fearful when jumping.

[trubandloki]

@DollyDoll

What he wants for me is a horse that gives me confidence and never stops at jumps since my last horse absolutely floored my confidence and I’ve started to get a bit fearful when jumping.

I think this makes a huge difference when picking a horse.
A person who needs a confidence builder is a very different rider than one who is moving up with confidence.

Of the two you listed (if they are the only two options) I would go with the first one for someone who needs confidence. If, for some reason, this horse is not capable for moving up to the division you want to move to then once you have your confidence back you can either keep showing at the lower height or sell/lease out this horse and ride something that your new confidence allows you to move up on.

[DollyDoll]

I’ve just been told before that if I keep trying horses people might get annoyed and call me someone who only likes to try but never buy, already happened last time I picked out a horse. Luckily this time I have a trainer and he really does believe that one of those two is the perfect match for me but its up to me to decide. They are within my very limited budget (tried out a mare that could easily do grand Prix and we seemed to click but omg the price on her was insane) and seemed to have the right temperament for me.

[Redlei44]

@DollyDoll

I’ve just been told before that if I keep trying horses people might get annoyed and call me someone who only likes to try but never buy, already happened last time I picked out a horse.

This can be an issue, I’m sorry that happened to you, but all you can do is your best. Only try horses you can afford and who are true possibilities based on what you know of them. But what would be worse - having a few people say that you tried a few extra horses, or buying one that isn’t right?

I agree with the above advice - if you need to rebuild confidence and you have to choose between these two, buy the one that gave you confidence.

[Willesdon]

One you have clicked with and gave you confidence the second scared you when you tried him. Go for #1.

[OfCourseItsAnAlter]

I don’t even know why this is a question. Why would you ever pick a horse who is scary, sometimes verges on being out of control, and is a rough ride instead of a horse with whom you click, is a smooth ride, and makes you feel comfortable and safe? I would not have to think about this for more than 15 seconds before picking #1.

Despite what you’ve said, age is not even a factor. These two horses are essentially the same age. One year is a meaningless age difference.

I also think having no guarantee that the first horse will be able to do 1.3 is not a factor. Given what you’ve said about the second horse, you’ve got no guarantee that the two of you will even make it safely around at 1.2. And just because a horse has never refused with a different (pro?) rider is no guarantee that he won’t refuse with a rider who has less skill or less confidence.

I’m sorry if my advice didn’t come across as gentle as you requested, but I’m just having trouble wrapping my mind around the idea that you don’t think horse #1 is the obvious choice, especially since you’ve admitted that your last horse destroyed your confidence. Why even consider another horse (horse #2) that seems almost guaranteed to further damage your confidence?

[trubandloki]

@OfCourseItsAnAlter

Despite what you’ve said, age is not even a factor. These two horses are essentially the same age. One year is a meaningless age difference.

I think the OP bring up age being a factor because the first horse has not ever, at this age, done the level they want to move to where as the second horse at this age has already done that level and above. So the age factor is that neither horse is young (not saying they are old either), so they have most likely already gone to their top level. Will the horse the OP likes more be able to go up a level or is there a reason they have not gone up that level at this age?

I don’t think the OP thinks one year difference in age is a huge deal past that.

[DollyDoll]

Yeah, thats exactly why age is kind of a factor in this. Sure they are by no means old and they will 100% still be jumping at the top of their game for at least 4 more years but I worry that since the first one has never done official 1.20 courses it might mean he’ll never do them or he might even get scared at the height. Maybe it’s my anxiety from having a horse that the second the poles got to 1.10 he would refuse and it would be a struggle to get him over them, but I just don’t feel like suffering with another refuser.

[Redlei44]

@OfCourseItsAnAlter

I don’t even know why this is a question. Why would you ever pick a horse who is scary, sometimes verges on being out of control, and is a rough ride instead of a horse with whom you click, is a smooth ride, and makes you feel comfortable and safe?

Because their trainer is saying that they should keep the horse on the list due to its experience and scope. Only the OP can decide if what’s more important and right to them. (Obviously there’ a consensus in this thread.)

[DollyDoll]

You’re 100% I just feel hesitant to discard the second horse because of how good he was honestly. He was amazing and I feel if I buy horse #1 I might be missing out or wasting the opportunity.

[trubandloki]

@DollyDoll

You’re 100% I just feel hesitant to discard the second horse because of how good he was honestly. He was amazing and I feel if I buy horse #1 I might be missing out or wasting the opportunity.

Have you made a pros and cons list for both of them?

This might require a sit down conversation with a trainer that you trust (which I assume is a fitting description for your current trainer).

[DollyDoll]

Yup, I have it and even made a pros and cons list for every horse I tried XD But they both have the same amount of pros and cons just different.
Have you ever had to make choice like this? between a horse you really liked versus one that was way better so to say?

Like I know in my mind the better horse objectively is the second one but I preferred the first one way better but what if I don’t take this chance and get the second one when i can and miss out?

[supershorty628]

@trubandloki

@DollyDoll

What he wants for me is a horse that gives me confidence and never stops at jumps since my last horse absolutely floored my confidence and I’ve started to get a bit fearful when jumping.

I think this makes a huge difference when picking a horse.
A person who needs a confidence builder is a very different rider than one who is moving up with confidence.

Of the two you listed (if they are the only two options) I would go with the first one for someone who needs confidence. If, for some reason, this horse is not capable for moving up to the division you want to move to then once you have your confidence back you can either keep showing at the lower height or sell/lease out this horse and ride something that your new confidence allows you to move up on.

I second this.

[trubandloki]

@DollyDoll

Like I know in my mind the better horse objectively is the second one but I preferred the first one way better but what if I don’t take this chance and get the second one when i can and miss out?

And this is why all decisions swirl around in my head for way longer than they should and sometimes I miss out because committing to one thing might be the wrong decision. Heck, sometimes this debate even applies to picking a meal.

I am a timid adult rider who spends way too much income on having this darn hobby called horses (and heck, I do not even show anymore) so my brain looks at it this way - I do this horse thing because I in theory enjoy it. Will I enjoy having a horse that scares me every time I go to ride it?

Has your trainer or anyone you know tried horse #1 over bigger fences to see how the horse reacts to bigger fences? Have you or your trainer talked to the seller of horse #1 about why they have never done bigger fences?

[DollyDoll]

Omg yeah, I’m exactly the same. I just get stuck in my head and doubt what to chose and what to pick but the way you said it is 100% true, we do this sport to enjoy it so why ride a horse that’ll make you suffer.

I actually got to talk to the owner and he said that he’d bought the horse as an easy ride to have fun on but, besides never quite getting along, he never wanted to jump higher than 1.10m on course, he did say he jumped 1.25 at home but never during competitions, but he did show me the video of the time he and the horse jumped a 1.75 fence like it was nothing in the six bar challenge, the horse didn’t even blink even when the rider tensed but not sure if that means the horse is confident jumping high or not.

[mika0116]

Trying to be as gentle as possible! I feel for you. I ride at a lower height and have some baggage from riding 2 horses with a stop in them.

The first who shattered my confidence was in long undiagnosed physical pain and was screaming that he didn’t want to jump anymore, I feel awful about the whole thing. He’s semi retired now.

My heart mare was after him and my confidence flourished she was much like your horse #1 here. I then ‘moved’ on from her to move up to a higher level and be more competitive and rode a lovely horse that was more of a challenge, we did not ‘click’ as perfectly as my heart mare (what you describe as horse #1). My lack of connection ultimately lead to me finding the occasional stop in him despite him being much like horse #2, a strong, forward, powerful ride. My confidence decreased and we went from gorgeous rides to mediocre ones tinged with fear.

I know you want to move up the levels, but you need to be honest with yourself. Do you really think you’re going to go from 1.10 /1.15 to 1.30 on an animal that isn’t a genuine click? Especially with some lingering fear from past rides.

It is a LOT harder IMO to regain confidence over higher fence heights.

If 1.30 is your goal, go with the animal that may be the incremental next step for you that will keep you happy, confident, and safe. If you max out horse #1, sell him / lease out, and look for horse to take you to the higher levels that you ALSO click with.

There is a reason why there is a market for ‘used’ horses so to speak, we are not always expected to keep all of our animals, especially competition mounts, although some do, finances and time allowing.

[OfCourseItsAnAlter]

@DollyDoll

You’re 100% I just feel hesitant to discard the second horse because of how good he was honestly.

But that’s really a different question, isn’t it? There are plenty of horses that might be very good at their jobs, but they would absolutely not be good for me.

Look at what you wrote about the second horse in your first post:

“his movements are pretty strong and kinda hard to sit”

“I swore I was going to fall off from how strong his movements were”

“I did feel like I lost a bit of control with him”

“i had a hard time calling him back”

“he did not really enjoy me trying to measure the distance”

“we didn’t initially click”

If I was shopping for a new horse, all of those things would be saying that this is not a good horse for ME, even if he is a very good horse.

I guess I’m strongly stating my opinion here because I have bought the wrong horse for me on more than one occasion in the past. The last time I did it, I fell into the “he’s got so much potential and he’s a good horse” trap. He did, and he was, but he was absolutely an awful horse for me and owning him was not a good experience. His new owner is much younger, more confident, and more of an adrenaline junkie than I am and he’s a great horse for her.

Plus, the fact that you mentioned that your last horse absolutely floored your confidence and made you a bit fearful when jumping makes it even more important that you get a horse who, as you said the first horse did, makes you feel comfortable and safe.

Yes, it’s absolutely your choice and you and I are not the same person. You have to pick the one that you think will best meet your needs. But I’m old and I have reached the stage of “let me tell you about the mistakes I made so you don’t have to make them yourself.”