Need to rant about a deal gone wrong but would love to hear your opinion

[DollyDoll]

So, I decided to sell my demon pony not only because he and I just never quite got along but because I just needed something that would take me higher jumping-wise and not freak me out because my pony after a certain height just would refuse like a mad man and try to knock me off. As soon as I put him up for sale I had interested parties, he was national champion so of course people would want to try him out, but in the end the girl that immediately offered to buy him was a girl at my barn that even worked with the same trainer and was on our same team of riders. She was new, wanted to start riding seriously so she wanted her own horse, and I agreed with the deal. My pony seemed to match what she was looking for and at lower heights he’s always behaved so she liked him. It seemed like I had lucked out selling him so quickly and getting someone interested so quickly.

Before I continue let me explain, I’m 19, when I bought my pony not only was I 17 but I did everything myself. I worked out the contract, met up with the seller, made sure they had room at the barn, made sure I could get the cheapest prices, even negotiated my ponys price because my parents wanted NOTHING to do with it but were happy to support whatever I decided because I was always a responsible child. They never once met with the seller and I always let them know everything that was going on. Since I was underage they did sign a contract but they didn’t even bother reading it and trusted my choices. Once again I was doing the sale by myself, a bit of help from my new trainer, so when this lady approached me looking to buy my pony from me I did exactly as the other seller had done to me.

This lady is about 24, much older than me and should be responsible enough to handle everything. I let her know his price, when I wanted to get paid, how I wanted to get paid, and even gave her the contract and everything ready to sign, I made sure she knew that any doubts I was 100% willing to answer. She signed the contract and said she’d get me the first pay that same week… Cut to two weeks later and she had yet to pay up. She was still riding my pony but just blamed her mother for not paying on time. After two weeks I told her sorry but I can’t let you ride him anymore until you pay up and she almost threw a FIT. A GROWN WOMAN. She said she understood why I was doing it but she really had hoped since we were in the same team i would be more patient and whatever

Cut to this week three weeks after our initial agreement for the first pay, I find out that she never even let her mother know she was buying a horse. Now yes, i know I should have spoken to the mother beforehand but I was dealing with a grown woman, I did ask to meet her mother but the lady claimed the mother wanted nothing to do with it. My trainer even blames me for not dealing with the mother first but how was I supposed to know the lady who is well into her adult years would be so immature when while i was only 17 I made a deal all by myself to get my pony and stuck to my word? So now here I am stuck with my pony, who I do love so much but is sort of making me feel stuck, and my dream horse is being sold off (since i had thought my pony was sold I went out and tried some horses and fell in love with one that apparently is being tried and people are starting to like him). So yeah, to say I am frustrated is an understatement. Worst part is I can’t even put any money on my dream horse because the money I would get from my pony would go directly to what I could pay for my next horse ;-;

[Scribbler]

So you were dealing with a flake. Happens all the time selling horses. Now you know to get the money up front. Just count your blessings this was an in-house sale. Imagine the hassles if he’d gone to another barn or city!

I am sure you will sell your pony and buy a suitable horse, and I expect the 24 year old child has burned her bridges at your barn.

[OnDeck]

Completely obnoxious and unprofessional but it unfortunately happens. I don’t think you’re in the wrong for not dealing with the mother. It’s not your job to have to deal with (apparently bad) family dynamics.

Complete sidenote: You’re hurting my soul a little bit calling a 24 year old “a lady well into her adult years” Come back in 5 years and I can guarantee you will not feel that way about yourself! (Of course, still way too old to be pulling stunts like this)

[DollyDoll]

I just hate people are like that! I mean if at 17 I could be responsible enough to go through with my word how can a 24 year old not be responsible or at least mature enough But yeah, I can’t imagine what would have happened had it been at another barn.

What angers me the most is that she acts so chill and still says high to me at the barn and even coos at my pony whenever she sees him. And of course no one except me seems kind of mad about the situation.

[DollyDoll]

Exactly!! Yet my trainer swears it all falls on me for not dealing with the mother because 'you have to deal with who is paying"

I am so sorry I just couldn’t seem to find the word for describing someone well over their teen years cause English isn’t my first language. I bet you look stunning for whatever age you are

[OnDeck]

@DollyDoll

Exactly!! Yet my trainer swears it all falls on me for not dealing with the mother because 'you have to deal with who is paying"

I am so sorry I just couldn’t seem to find the word for describing someone well over their teen years cause English isn’t my first language. I bet you look stunning for whatever age you are

It is a good rule to always deal with who is paying but when you’re dealing with family relationships that can get a bit tricky. An adult told you she would give you $X and honestly it’s not your business if that money is coming from her savings, a family member’s, or the bank she just robbed. If she had explicitly told you her mom would be paying then you could have requested her mom come sign the paperwork but at 24 you would think that wouldn’t be necessary.

No worries, your English is great. I’m sure many native English speakers would describe a 24 year old the same way. It just gave me a good laugh!

[Ceffyl_Dwr]

To think that a 24 year old could - or would - ask their mother to buy them a horse!

I’m sorry to say that I think you’re stuck with your pony. I don’t imagine it’s worth pursuing the contract terms. I’m glad you cut her off from riding your pony.

[DollyDoll]

Its pretty common here in Mexico to still have some financial support from your parents I still do and I’m about to turn 20 but I am forever thankful. What just made me mad and kinda confused was that she just assumed she could have him and buy him without letting her mother know XD kind of ridiculous

Yeah, I’m just scared he won’t sell since he can be a bit of a dick and has had some bad fame. He wins a ton but you have to ride him or else you will basically fly off the second he’s done with whatever you were doing

[anon81364900]

@DollyDoll

What angers me the most is that she acts so chill and still says high to me at the barn and even coos at my pony whenever she sees him. And of course no one except me seems kind of mad about the situation.

Why should she be mad? She managed to get free riding privileges on a great pony for nothing. Now that game is up, no biggie.
You need to let go of your anger because it benefits you nothing. It is no one’s fault that your other prospect horse may go to another buyer. No one did that to you. Just channel this energy into finding a new qualified buyer for your pony. And despite all your deal savvy, you now know better than to allow any rides (beyond the initial trial rides) until you’ve got their $ and hand them a Bill of Sale.

I agree that it’s reasonable to assume a 24yr old who presents herself as a principal in a transaction is actually able to complete the transaction.

• Rather than assume your trainer is criticizing you for not having gotten the buyer’s parent’s involved, maybe she’s merely saying “here’s something you can do to avoid this risk next time.” Isn’t that what trainers are supposed to do when something goes astray? OK, so your horse ducked out at this jump last time. Next time through, keep that left leg on him all the way through the line.

• Stop asking whether you’re right or wrong, if you’re already sure that you’re right. Your trainer or anyone else is highly unlikely to volunteer an opinion on this situation if you don’t bring it up.

• If you really think the trainer is calling you out and is not in your court, then ask yourself whether you’re at the right barn? I sure as heck wouldn’t keep paying someone to make me feel bad about myself.

[DollyDoll]

Oh no, I don’t think she’d be mad I just feel like she’s acting as if everythings cool, as if she didn’t just flake and then scold me about holding back my pony from being ridden by her and that she even acts as if she’s still going to buy him. More than angers me, not sure if its the right phrasing, but it rubs me the wrong way? (Hope that makes more sense).

You’re 100% right, guess I just trusted she’d pull through since she rides with my trainer. I just hope my ponys bad fame doesn’t stop him from getting bought.

Maybe, my trainer can be sort of weird. He’s a great teacher, taught me things i never knew I could and I’m excited to get a new horse to advance even faster with him, but outside of riding he can be a bit prickly. So who knows, maybe he didn’t mean to come off so harsh or like he was scolding me, he does kind of treat my sister and me as daughters so you might be right.

[SharonA1]

Ranting and venting are good! And now it’s time to let it go. You had a potential buyer, and she flaked on you. Very common. She’s probably pretending that everything is wonderful because she is embarrassed. So, be the bigger person and continue to be friendly, and firm about your rules that she cannot ride your pony any more, and move on. Don’t worry about your trainer; it sounds like he’s just making a comment after the fact. Holding on to negative emotions does nothing and takes energy away from positive stuff.

Maybe you’re actually better off. What if this woman bought your pony, the fit didn’t work (which sounds likely, from your description of her), and then you had to hear about how terrible the pony was, that she thinks you lied to her about him, etc. from her, every single time you met her at the barn?

I hear you about missing out on the dream horse, but sometimes these things happen for a reason. There will be another dream horse, when the time is right.

[trubandloki]

@DollyDoll

This lady is about 24, much older than me

This made me giggle. 24 is much older than 19. Giggle.

I do get the point you made with that comment. But an old person can laugh can’t they?

[moonlitoaksranch]

I think you dodged a bullet. She sounds like a flake and that would get tiresome when you guys are on the same team. Every time Mr. Pony had a naughty moment, she would probably complain at you.

I hope you find a better buyer soon. Your next horse is out there. You’ll find him/her when it’s time.

[Foitin]

Out of curiosity, what did you show this pony in? Will he continue to show? In what divisions would this 24 year old have ridden him? Not impossible for an adult to show a pony, but not exceedingly common in my experience.

[DollyDoll]

Yeah, hopefully she never does it again to anyone else or else I don’t think I’ll be able to stand her in the same team. I don’t want my good name in the equestrian community soiled because of her behavior.

Thank you, i hope so too.

[DollyDoll]

Yeah, just gotta breath and forget but ugh its so frustrating. Oh well, hopefully this week while riding I can just avoid her and switch my hours.

I can only pray they don’t sell him before i sell my boy ;-; I honestly struggled finding a horse I fit with so he was like a dream come true

[DollyDoll]

I showed him up to the 1.15m, and was quite good, you did have to ride him or else he does stop (though if he has a bad day good luck XD) but he’s super fast and agile so bad distances and jump offs were his specialty, even diagonals he could do them in his sleep. She just started riding so she’d barely start jumping cross rails and she was supposed to start competing him next year at the 90cm but well thats a bust

[moonlitoaksranch]

He sounds like fun to ride! Would he make a good lesson horse for a trainer that takes kids to shows?

[DollyDoll]

Before i got him a kid used to ride him, had to sell cause she got a bit scared by his speed. We got him, with help with my trainer we made him much more ‘on the hand’ (not sure if that’s how you say it in English) and he became way more honest than before.

At 1m he saves almost every jump if needed and he loves shows so you just have to hold on and point him and he goes. He makes a great lesson pony because he’s great at dressage and loves gymnastics and any fun exercise since he’s so smart and just figures things out so quickly. I’ve had my 8 year old sister take him to a show once at 80cm and she loved it, got first prize on her first try around the course and my pony was ready for more. He’s great honestly, he taught me so much about being stubborn and going for the prize.

[clanter]

@Ceffyl_Dwr

To think that a 24 year old could - or would - ask their mother to buy them a horse!

may be a result of " Under current law, if your health insurance plan covers children, you can now add or keep your children on your health insurance policy until they turn 26 years old" so the 24 year old still thinks they are child?