Last night i saw a horse movie on netflix amd i thought, why not? I actually like cheesey horse movies. This was called Christmas Ranch. Omg it was horrible but i could not look away.
Story is- a bitchy/snarky 16 yr old is dropped off at her grandmothers “ranch” (a huge english style farm with empty pastures with shelters in them) bc her parents have to go somewhere and don’t trust her alone. Apparently has not seen gm for many years. Gd is unfamiliar with horses, has never been around them. First issue, gm has one horse left. ( she has been selling them all off one by one) He is in the barn with colic. But the vet is nowhere to be seen in this movie, and so owner gm says to gd-you need to make him feel better so he will eat. No worries about the horse not pooping or where the vet is. Gd works her magic and gets horse to eat a carrot. Then they give the horse grain. Idk how horse is still alive at this point.
Gd grabs the mail from the mailbox and opens gm’s mail disovering that the farm is up for foreclosure. Gm says she had
planned to train remaining horse for showing amd that would pay for the farm. (In what universe)?’!! But now said horse is weak from colic and can’t be rushed. Oh and gm is just so tired now she can’t possibly do it. Gd says she will do it. Ok, bc a person who doesn’t have any horse experience at all, can train a winner in only a few weeks. Of course there is a local farm boy who helps out.
This is where i started laughing- the ‘training’ of the horse consists of gd leading horse on lead line over cavaletti poles and then running around the arena on lead line. After a few weeks gm says lets see what he can do. Gd then runs him thru it again, but this time (in slow motion) they trot over a crossrail!! The gm is thrilled!! No one has ever tacked up this horse, or ridden it in the movie, but that is ok, , bc when show season hits, they will make a lot of money. Nothing wrong with untrained grade horse but i doubt he will win the big bucks.
Bank people show up with realtors. Gotta put the farm up for sale. Gm panics, whatever… bitchy/snarky Gd decides they will have a xmas flea market. Makes gm call in all of her favors from friends and neighbors. They drop off bushells of fruit/veg, quilts, hand carved animals, etc… and people just show up in droves. ( with no advertising except a glittery sign on the driveway) By the end they have made like $8000. (Uh sure…) so the farm is safe for fewmonths until their show horse is ready for showing. Hooray.
It was actually funny to watch all the blunders, the horrible acting, i don’t think ihave ever seen a horse movie this bad in my life. And i have seen most horse movies. Save yourself and don’t watch it unless you do it with other horse people just for the laughs.
Thanks! It’s very similar to a movie I sat through. Emma’s Chance
