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Netflix worst horse movie-ever

Off Course
#41

Riderintherain, for some reason I can’t quote your post, sorry!

I studied abroad in Siena twice, and was there for the entire week of the July 2015 Palio. Those horses are truly treated like kings. The race itself is dangerous- a jockey hurt he knee or lower leg pretty bad in the palio I saw- that is honestly the only difficulty in their life. I’m facebook friends with the owner of a recent palio winning horse and he has it so good. Lots of turnout in huge fields and they seem to get a lot of time off and live out until they’re brought back into work in the new year. Vets are involved in every single step of the race. There are multiple vettings several weeks out, to select which horses run in the trial races. Vets give the ok for the horses to run in the selection races. Once horses are assigned, each contrada has a vet that is responsible for the care of the horse until after the race.

I have several books about Siena and il Palio, but this is just what I can remember off the top of my head!

#42

BlueBobRadar - that was very much the impression I got from the documentary re: horse care. They described (in general terms) the vetting process and the horses certainly looked well care for. I was also surprised (and impressed) that one of the main horses they talked about was an 11 year old, which would be quite old in most other racing situations.

I will admit I had mixed feelings about watching the footage of the Palio itself as some of the falls looked so hard (but really, the same can be said of selected footage from flat racing, eventing, etc.) but I also really admired the seats on those riders and some of them seemed like really genuine horseman. I say “seemed” b/c the documentary was clearly made for a more general audience, so they didn’t go into great detail into training programs, care, etc.

Can you recommend any good books in particular? I’d be curious to learn more.

Also do you know what the breeding of the horses typically is? There were many references to horses being bred specifically to be Palio racers, but they didn’t say anything about the breeds or bloodlines involved.

#43

Anyone see The Derby Staillion? I promise you it’s the absolute worst! In the ever so classic horse show scene, you see his horse going towards a jump and then it cuts to the chest and front legs of a jumper. Different collar horse. Has a breastplate with the number in the center. Pretty sure they stole it from actually horse show footage. Lol please. Go watch it and report back!

#44

Has no one mentioned the Long Shot yet?

Absolutely dreadful but strangely compelling!

The moment where the woman says breathily ‘he’s running blind through traffic’ or some such nonsense as blind horse trots about arena is particularly good at searing itself onto your brain…

#45

Wait, the movie ends with the $8000 donated goods tag sale and they never actually take the horse to a show???

We never get to see the Farm-Saving $250,000 Lead Line Cross Rail Stake??

#46

I watched “Sunday Horse” this weekend. For the most part the horse parts were well done, the finding God bit went a bit weird but hey at least the riders were dressed appropriately, and seemed to really know how to ride. Then I found out its based on a true story, in the 1980’s which means the clothing and tack was WAY off and it kind of ruined it for me.

#47

The worst movie, not in the context of the film making, but in the way horses were treated, was “The Misfits”. Running down mustangs, roping them and tying them down to be picked up the next day to become dog food. Yes, they showed it all happening and since it was made before humane laws were enacted, it was brutal. It starred Clark Gable in his last film role and Marilyn Monroe. I can’t watch that movie without breaking down into tears thus, I’ve never seen the whole thing.

#48

[QUOTE=findeight;8975086]
Hey, I kind of liked Hidalgo, good B action flick. Yeah, it was inaccurate and stupid but the non horsey friends I saw it with enjoyed it. Been watching moves for so many years with stupid horse stuff, doesn’t bother me so much anymore. I mean, Black Stallion is stupid too but beautiful and I’ll watch that one every time I come across it on TMC.

Guess I’ve developed a tolerance for it as cops have for cop shows, lawyers for legal sagas and anybody in the aviation industry for anything with a plane in it.[/QUOTE]

I didn’t think Hidalgo was too bad either.

#49

So I actually love the show, it’s really good… But I was just today laughing at one of the scenes in The Crown. They were watching the horse breeze and the Queen’s champion race horse looked like my big old school WB… Was about as fast too :lol:

The following scene however was was waaaaay too accurate. The Queen and I believe her sister were talking about her horses and how her husband doesn’t understand her passion for them :lol:

#50

[QUOTE=copper1;8975882]
It always amazes me that with all the money in the movie and tv industry that they don’t get an expert to sort out all the stupidity that we see in horse movies! I am sure it is the same for car people or doctors and lawyers! Even when Debbie Stephens was the technical advisor for “Something to Talk About” some of the horse mistakes were laughable![/QUOTE]

Yeah, but think about it – you want to make a movie that has horses as a part of the plot.

Now, recognizing that a good movie has to have a plotline and several minor conflicts as well as a major one, what are you going to come up with? Miles and miles, hours and hours of practice is not terribly interesting.

I had a friend once who wanted to have a horse-subplot in the book she was writing, and she was trying to do some research by talking with me, but none of what she’d settled on made any sense at all. (Something about having to save the ranch so they went to South America to hunt for treasure…WTF?)

I actually put together a booklet for romance writers on what NOT to do with horses in their book plots (based on the hundreds of thousands of dumb references we’ve seen in print, on TV, stories from friends, and movies). Even so, I had to quit at rather a high level or it would have been 1000 pages long, and besides, telling people what isn’t true is a much bigger task than talking about what is true.

(assuming they care what is true.)

#51

I just watched Christmas Ranch two days ago- I was super bored. I actually thought the acting wasn’t as bad as some of the other corny horse movies I’ve seen (granted, that’s not saying a lot). Some of my favorites were:

  • seeing the teen girl look in the stall to see pony standing in a halter, but when she opens the stall to enter, halter is no longer on.
  • Teen wraps leather chain leadline around her hand while jogging the pony in circles.
  • Grandma, who up until this point has been all “the animals come first, you can’t rush them, you have to “connect” with them” forces granddaughter to “run the Xs” before pony is ready bc she needs $$$ fast
  • They name the (male) pony “Hope”
  • They keep calling it a ranch when it’s clearly a hilly, green, H/J facility with a beautiful farmhouse
#52

OK, so how many other people have watched christmas ranch since this thread was first started?

#53

To be fair, that happens to me. But my horse is a genius at getting her halter off quickly, haha.

#54

[QUOTE=Mtn trails;8979028]
The worst movie, not in the context of the film making, but in the way horses were treated, was “The Misfits”. Running down mustangs, roping them and tying them down to be picked up the next day to become dog food. Yes, they showed it all happening and since it was made before humane laws were enacted, it was brutal. It starred Clark Gable in his last film role and Marilyn Monroe. I can’t watch that movie without breaking down into tears thus, I’ve never seen the whole thing.[/QUOTE]

I hate hate haaaaaaaaaate that movie, and I only saw like 20 minutes of it because my mother had it on once.

It’s possible I might hate The Human Centipede or Passion of the Christ more, but I refuse to watch any bit of those to find out.

#55

Riderintherain,

I want to say TB crosses, I know there is a rule that horses are not allowed to be purebred. The thinking when it was passed was that mixed breed horses would be tougher/hold up better. I think also they are mixed with a breed from Sardegna, I will have to check and see what I can find.

It has been a while since I watched the documentary but 11 is a little old, average age IIRC was 7,8,9. Approx. 30 horses run in a few trial races, and then the contrades Palio captains decide which ones go into the lottery to be assigned. Very successful horses tend to not run for many years, because the captains don’t want to risk the chance of their enemies drawing a successful horse.

https://www.amazon.com/Terra-Piazza-Interpretation-Palio-Siena/dp/8871450671/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1482200572&sr=8-10&keywords=palio+siena

This book is excellent. It’s about Siena and il Palio from an anthropological and historic viewpoint, it’s fascinating and explains so much about the culture, race and life!

http://sienanews.it/cultura/palio/un-pomeriggio-con-i-cavalli-pensionati-del-palio/ Google translate works well for this page- a recent article about a visit from the mayor of Siena to a retirement facility for the former race horses.

I have another book that I couldn’t find on Amazon becau

#56

I give you credit for even watching a horse related movie. For the most part I just can’t enjoy them because I’m critical of the choice of horse, tack that isn’t correct, the equitation of the rider etc. The only horse related movie I actually enjoyed was the “Black Stallion”.

#57

Most horse movies frustrate horse people. I actually went to the premiere of this movie in Baltimore (where it was filmed), and yes, it is kind of silly…but a whole bunch of small kids left the theater starry-eyed about the magic of horses…the dream of “saving” a horse and going onto competing it and winning…
The OPs unkind “review” makes me weary, because a great group of people worked tirelessly on a very small budget (the owners of the farm at which it was filmed generously “donated” their home and barn for the filming). So, if you do dare rent it, after all the tomatoes thrown at it on this forum of anonymous cowards, focus on the real message…horses and humans healing one another…and you’ll feel better about the world- and maybe even yourself.

#58

I like horse movies, even bad ones. :slight_smile: I haven’t seen one yet that is so bad I would turn it off, I love looking at horses but if the dialogue was dumb I would lower the volume and keep watching just to see the pretty ponies. The Misfits would not make it onto my tv, the premise of the movie is disgusting.

Of course I spent all morning rewatching my horse race videos. King of the Wind has heart breaking moments, but I still love it. The Black Stallion is incredible, Secretariat is triumphant, and Sea Biscuit is almost patriotic! Horses, horses, horses, we all need more horses.

#59

i like bad horse movies too. but Christmas Ranch was Horrible.

#60

None of you have mentioned ‘All Hat’. Now this is one bad horse movie. Seriously bad. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0903131/plotsummary?ref_=tt_ov_pl I previous trainer of mine, at Fort Erie had the ‘pleasure’ of having some of his horses used. Asked him once why he agreed…‘the money was really good’… LOL

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