Yeah I know everywhere I’m at is full too which makes it harder.
I’d think a text would suffice (and having a written proof that you asked is always good) but I’d just say something like ‘hey I really want to get to the bottom of this before anyone rides him. I’ll come out and handwalk so he doesn’t lose his marbles but I’m going to see what Tufts says before doing anything else with him, riding or otherwise. Thanks!”
Then show up and handwalk him when she usually would ride, if you can. Do you get billed for training rides or hacks?
Everything Turntable said. Your horse is neurologic and lame with a dangerous behavioral issue and it is an epic liability to have anyone sitting on him. No one should sit on him until he has been seen at a clinic. This “lets do 30 days of trotting and see where we are at” is a waste of your time and money, and is not going to help your horse. If you need help finding another barn, PM me.
I used to board at a barn that had 4 lessons/month required and the price was added to the board. When the trainer I liked wasn’t there, I just didn’t take the lessons from the other one, and ate the money. I considered it the cost of having my horse at their barn. Trainers don’t make money off board, they make money off lessons and training which is why they require it.
This doesn’t need to be nearly as impossible as you are making it.
You are going to get kicked out of this barn. At this point you are going to just have to accept that. In a program like you seem to be describing there is one performance vet, and horses only go to hospitals for surgery or imaging. This dynamic where you want to tell the trainer when to ride or who is treating the horse does not happen. I’m not saying that the program is working for you, or it’s a good program, or it’s right or it’s wrong. I don’t know you or the program or the horse. I am saying, stop worrying about how you are going to phrase it, because nothing is going to convince the trainer to keep you as a client through this. So just do whatever it is you are going to do. The trust on both sides is gone and that doesn’t work.
I think CBoylen is probably correct, and that you are not long for this barn. In the meantime it might be best to make this as impersonal as possible. One way to do that is to say that since there is a possibility that your horse is neurological you are not willing to accept the liability of someone riding him until he has been examined by a specialist. If you feel uncomfortable doing this then blame it on your spouse, lawyer, etc. In addition, you need to offer to pay for the training rides (but do not use them) because that is part of your contract. If this gets you kicked out of the barn then you are clearly not in the right place.
Dorito and CBoylen are right-this relationship is not healthy but you have to manage it for now. Shifting the reasons to not riding him over to liability is the move. Nobody can argue with that. I understand the righteous indignation other posters are writing, however, it will not help you quietly exit this barn without incident to come at your trainer with both guns ablaze’. You will need to be diplomatic and succinct and find another barn for him post-Tufts. Good Luck!
As others have said, start looking now for another place to board him, as well as an appointment at Tufts and an independent shipper to get you there.
You are paying the bills and you are in charge. I appreciate that the vet sometimes wants to talk to the professional directly but I don’t expect them to be having full on discussions and making plans for my horse without my knowledge. Full stop.
You could use Middleton’s neuro condition as an excuse to get him out of the boarding barn without setting the relationship on fire, but you have to be firm and cool. In the meantime pay for the training rides but don’t use them; trainer needs the money not the saddle time. Maybe you can put him in a place that has great care for retirees/layups while he recovers and give you time to find a new program.
If you need help finding a place for him, PM with your general location…
It sounds like the current barn may not be a fit for your needs. I don’t know how much we can help you with that from the outside of the situation.
I would go ahead and reach out to Tufts and arrange the appointment/shipping. I would tell the trainer “Thanks for your input. I am concerned about liability if it turns out Middleton has something else going on and he continues to be ridden. I am happy to pay for my required weekly rides but please don’t allow anyone to ride/lunge him until I get better direction from Tufts. My appointment is on [date]. I will let you know what they suggest.”
All you can do is be firm and polite. This isn’t a discussion, you’re not asking for advice, you’re not engaging in WHY you want to do this. You’re just letting the trainer know what the plan is."
I agree with others here that this relationship is not salvageable which frees you to make whatever decisions you want regarding your horse and his continued care.
This isn’t a bit of a boundary issue - It’s pole vaulting way over the boundary. This is NOT your trainer’s horse. He’s your horse. You get to make the decisions. Hard stop. They are making plans for your horse’s rehab without ANY input from you? Absolutely not. Is your trainer paying your vet bills? Is your trainer part owner of the horse? No. Trainer can advise, but at the end of the day they need to honor your wishes.
The video from March 1 is too old? BS. Is he substantially different from March 1? If not, then March 1 video is totally fine.
You need to politely but firmly tell her “I appreciate that you are trying to help, but I DO NOT WANT HIM RIDDEN until further notice from me.” At the end of the day he’s your horse, it is your money and your are the client.
Along with arranging for the vet appointments either at Tufts or New Bolton, quietly start looking for a new barn. I don’t think your relationship with this trainer is going to improve. She sounds like she does not respect your role as Middleton’s owner and I just don’t see that getting better regardless of the outcome from the current problems with him.
If you call the vet and tell her you no longer want her input on your horse right now, she will be under professional ethics anyway, an obligation to not evaluate your horse.
Why your trainer thinks talking to the vet without the owners permission is acceptable is a big red flag. This is a very unprofessional trainer, even moreso after what you’ve told us. She sounds terrible, you really need to put in writing that she isn’t to ride your horse, because she’s going to, and you need to protect yourself if she gets hurt.
I skimmed through this thread, and the last one, and can someone explain to me why this horse is thought to to be neurologic? I live in an area where we do not have a prevalence of EPM/Lyme cases, etc, so I am very much NOT familiar with it, but I feel like by what I have read I would not have thought neuro at all, other than OP mentioning that the barn he came from had some EPM cases.
Because a vet did neuro tests on it and it was positive to some of the tests. That vet assumed it was EPM, in part due to the results of the neuro tests.
This finding is in addition to a history of symptoms like toe dragging, a history of bucking with multiple riders over a period of years, inability to canter through a corner, muscle wasting, sometimes staggering and having trouble just walking straight, a chip in its neck, some close vertebrae etc. etc.
overall, what kicked this fiasco off was that my trainer felt Middleton was stiff though his SI, we had a vet out to draw blood (retest his Lyme numbers and test for EPM) and examine his back and SI. This was the general practice vet that the barn has.
Two weeks later Middleton chucks a serious buck and “throws a fit” with a pro rider (not my trainer) who rode him. This prompted my trainer to get the sport horse vet out and have her evaluate him. She was supposed to be able to give us better, more concrete and more qualified answers about Middelton’s behavior. Vet came out, did a typical lameness exam, and did a neuro. She said, he made mistakes in the neuro, even though EPM bloodwork was negative she was sure treating with Marquis would give us answers and do him no harm.
Your horse bucks and “throws a fit” with some random rider and all of a sudden you need to do a neuro workup? I’m sorry - no.
This barn/trainer is not a good fit. Find another place. Use “taking the horse to Tufts” as your excuse, but return to some other barn with him, and just chill out for awhile. It’s really hard to tell whether there’s a real issue here (other than the horse being out of shape and ridden in ill-fitting tack) or not.
Unless you’ve read all the details on both threads please don’t discourage the OP getting a full work up from a clinic like Tufts. The facts suggest this horse has had issues for years and may in fact have a serious problem (despite the OP’s hope that it be something more benign). Please read both threads fully and digest the info there before jumping on board to spitball ideas. There’s a lot (a lot) of information there that came out in bits and pieces as OP learned/understood/shared it.
