Pony Person if you are reading this go get some eye bleach!! :eek: And return to Stick Art.
The farrier opened the “ahem” accessory from the purse and smiled. “A woman should always be prepared,” he said as he took a bite of the richess chocolate bar from Germany he had ever tasted.
“Would you like a bite?” the farrier asked seductively.
He broke a piece off and fed farmeress , piece by piece, the smooth, rich flavour flooding her mouth with sheer ecstasy.
The horses, whose jaws were on still the ground, picked up their face and began chewing lunch again.
One of the equine looked at the other and said, “I think this is a remake of the movie, Farm Girls Gone Wild.”
“Nah,” replied his stable mate, “More like Moderator Gone Mad.”
Meanwhile Monty Python, the hawk, whose name was Harley, and the parrot, Polly were now preoccupied by the antics of Moderator 2 and Ricky Martin.
You see Ricky and the Moderator had finally gotten down to …
nevermind
[QUOTE=Moderator 1;2923848]
…Mod 1 who picked up her crop and came to remind everyone that the board is read by kids, and that the content has to be kept more G-rated (and horse-related) for the fun to continue. If it’s not, we’ll have to…
NM[/QUOTE]
Mod 1, I think this is the funniest installment yet! Thanks for the reminder and also the chance to play nice! Althought I really need to
Nevermind.
I am sorry, but I have to say that this thread has caused me to laugh loudest of all! Ok, I am working today and am on shift with the craziest crew on the plant who are well known for their off color humor. I have laughed til I cried! This type of twisted humor is right up their alley so they’ve all gathered around to read over my shoulder! All along they thought I’ve been here for the horse stuff! rolling their eyes They always knew I could be twisted but now they think we all are! LOL
Thank you, thank you!
[QUOTE=farmeress;2923931]
The farrier opened the “ahem” accessory from the purse and smiled. “A woman should always be prepared,” he said as he took a bite of the richess chocolate bar from Germany he had ever tasted.
“Would you like a bite?” the farrier asked seductively.
He broke a piece off and fed farmeress , piece by piece, the smooth, rich flavour flooding her mouth with sheer ecstasy.
The horses, whose jaws were on still the ground, picked up their face and began chewing lunch again.
One of the equine looked at the other and said, “I think this is a remake of the movie, Farm Girls Gone Wild.”
“Nah,” replied his stable mate, “More like Moderator Gone Mad.”
Meanwhile Monty Python, the hawk, whose name was Harley, and the parrot, Polly were now preoccupied by the antics of Moderator 2 and Ricky Martin.
You see Ricky and the Moderator had finally gotten down to …
nevermind[/QUOTE]
Riding their horses… Ricky still wearing his shake your bon bon chaps and nothing else… and Mod 2 did slip on breeches for comfort… As she was putting the saddle on her horse she asked Ricky where his saddle was… Ricky smiled and gracefully vaulted onto the large stallion and said. " I always prefer to ride bareback to better feel the contact with the horse" Mod 2 felt the heat rising to her face as Ricky leaned down from his mount and extended his hand to her… “Ride with me” he whispered seductively. Mod 2 started to drop her saddle where it was but remembing is was her new custom County regained her senses enough to place it back on the saddle stand and joined Ricky on his steed. She wrapped her arms around his muscled waist as he began to…
nevermind…
I’m trying hard not to laugh as I’m sitting in a huge lecture hall listening to a lecture about community health care nursing… but oh… NEVERMIND that.
I’ll never be able to look at my farrier again without blushing! This thread will pop into my head and I’ll imagine…
nevermind
She wrapped her arms around his muscled waist as he began to have a sneezing attack that had the stallion shoot off on a bucking spree.
Moderator 2 heard Ricky gasp as he landed on the stallions’ whither in a way no man should.
Being well balanced in her seat, Moderator 2 was steady. Poor
ricky hit the dirt…or pile of manure, soft, fresh and steaming. She notice that Ricky was bruised and had started to swell in the area of his…
nevermind
Well muscled loins. Mod 2 jumped down to investigate the bruise when at that moment Mod 1 appeared around the corner with her own well chiseled man in tow and after seeing poor Ricky in the dirt she gives Mod 2 the all knowing eyebrow lift, thinking it could ONLY happen to Mod 2.
Farmeress was also peering from behind that finely tuned farrier body and seeing Mod 2 in such a compromising position she…never mind.
Ricky started to bruise in the area of his ankle. As Mod 2 got the large beast under control and dismounted to help Ricky. As much as Mod 2 was enjoying having all that power between her legs she knew Ricky needed her help. As the large Hanovarian stallion pranced around Ricky appearing to be concerned for his master and with those large chocolate eyes saying “I’m sorry” Mod 2 bent over to inspect Ricky’s ankle closer. As she was examining his ankle her eyes kept drifting upward to…
nevermind…
DGRH stumbled onto this thread as she was painfully inserting very large…35 megabyte FILES into a powerpoint…somehow, it took longer and longer…to click on “Insert Picture From File…” and then she looked up from her monitor and realized there was no time left to run to the barn before the dreaded evening departmental seminar.
Damn, she muttered. And mused, should she leave now, with an unfinished powerpoint, and arrive in time for free food? Or should she continue trying to insert very large…
…nevermind…
Moderator 2, having gotten the large beast under control and was now examining Rickys’ ankle, saw Mod 1s’ raised eyebrow and knew what she was thinking.
“Yes:rolleyes: only me,” thought Moderator 2 as she shook her heads with amusement.
Mod 1 watch Moderator 2 in her compromising position of perching on her toes while examining Rickys swelling ankle. Moderator 2s’ eyes kept drifting up to Rickys’ face which was smeared with fresh smelling horse manure and noticed it was contorted in Pain:cry:.
“I think I have pulled my groin muscle and landed in wet do-do,” whined Ricky, “I smell like the back end of a cow gone bad.”
Both Moderators could not contain the smiles at Rickys’ girly tone while being wussy over a little crap happening.
Farmeress who was peering behind the extemely defined body of the farrier with the well endowed toolbelt, began to laugh as did the farrier himself.:lol:
Meanwhile, DGRH had arrived looking for free food to give her the strength she would need to insert the very large 35 megabyte files into a power point.
The two horses in the stall near DGRH looked at each other quizzically.
“Megabytes???” queried the stallion. “Is that what they call it now?”
“What part is the file?” wondered the mare.
The stallion thought for a moment…then pondered…“Is 35 megabytes larger than my…;)”
nevermind
Butt?
I don’t know said the mare as I haven’t seen your butt. I know you have seen mine though.
With that commen6t Mod 1 looks at the farrier wondering just what sort of stories he imparted to the horses he hot shod. Ricky tries to balance himself on Mod 2 shoulder and Farmeress feels it is time to bring everyones attention to the snoopy reporter that has been taking pictures and recording the goings on.
Freedom realizing she has been found out slinks back into the darkness and…
never mind.
As the lovely and ever patient Moderators 1 & 2 attempted to soothe poor traumatized & horse poo smeared Ricky, and the Farmeress tries to redirect the new reporter to a more clothed area of the barn DGRH sat on an overturned bucket in the aisleway while trying to load each of those megabytes into her laptop, bit by long slow bit. Freedom apparently slunk off to the hayloft for a little nap. I doubt she was alone( but I guess that is beside the point right now).
As DGRH worked away oblivious to the dozen or so chatting horses, squawking parrot, swooping hawk and of course, the illustrious Monty- the one eyed python, a pair of sultry deep brown eyes appeared reflected in the corner of her laptop screen. DGRH sweated and toiled to get those megabytes into her Power Point, amidst the racket, the hormones, the pheromones and the even ululating moans coming from behind the latched closet door with such a singlemindedness that only another harried scientist on a deadline could match it.
As she entered the final slide she caught a glimpse of the deep brown eyes again on the right hand corner of her extra wide screen. She couldn’t help but notice that they appeared to be getting closer. She typed furiously and her heartbeat sped faster and seemed to keep time to her keystrokes as the warm cocoa eyes looked directly into hers, by way of that rectangle of plasma(?) just in front of her nose.
Her nose! She smelled…chocolate! “Ummm, chocolate” DGRH, thought as she rested her well worked digits for a brief second or two. Forgetting about the smoldering eyes and turning around on her bucket to ask for a piece of that aromatic chocolate bar that was going around the barn she saw that everyone was gone except for her. And her laptop, and the snake who was coiled up in the corner snoozing away with his one eye firmly shut.
“Hmm”…she thought, “where did everyone go?” Just then DGRH heard a rustle in an empty stall just behind her plastic 5 gallon “office chair”. An ominous rustle. She couldn’t help but think of the poorly adjusted Jason guy who wears a hockey mask and runs around slashing people in movies, for a minute there.
A bit disconcerted she gets up from her bucket and gently closes her laptop after saving the P.P. 3 times- just to make sure, and tiptoes slowly over to the stall, just as she is about to look inside- a tall slender man with gorgeous brown eyes steps from the shadows. Again DGRH notices that she smells chocolate.She also realizes that the fellow in the shadows in covered in it from head to toe.
Just then, with a loud squawk, the parrot drops from a rafter onto the man’s shoulder and the lightbulb goes off in DGRH’s wooley little head.
“OMG! It’s Johnny Depp”, she thought to herself with a gulp and a sigh. And Johnny is covered from head to toe in chocolate and he is NOT wearing a pirate suit under all that sweet brown stuff, in fact he is not wearing any kind of suit at all. As DGRH stands there mouth open and in a pleasant shock, she processes a few megabytes of her own.Soon after Johnny wraps his strong fingers around her wrist and yanks her into the stall so quickly DGRH completely forgets about her presentation, much less her computer. Which was probably a really good thing because between you & me what went on in that stall next would have seriously melted her motherboard.
The parrot, startled by the peculiar sounds coming from the chocolatey people in the stall, flies away again just as Kevin Bacon, hearing the slightly piggy-rooting sounds emanating from the stall saunters in to investigate. As Johnny leans over DGRH and eases her back over his arm for an old fashioned movie star dip & kiss Kevin sniffs around until he is directly behind Johnny’s chocolate covered bum. Since Kevin figures to himself with a meaty shouldered shrug “who could expect a pig to resist this” he goes ahead and lifts his pink piggy snout, opens his mouth and begins to…
Nevermind. Really-nevermind.
S.
[QUOTE=Redline Guy;2923691]
OK. That’s it!
Ya’ll are gettin’ Horsey Stick Art for the cover of this novel!
I resign.[/QUOTE]
Chicken! ( brauccckkk, buck, buck buck…)
[QUOTE=RydArab;2926062]
chocolate covered bum. Since Kevin figures to himself with a meaty shouldered shrug “who could expect a pig to resist this” he goes ahead and lifts his pink piggy snout, opens his mouth and begins to…
Nevermind. Really-nevermind.
S.[/QUOTE]
Squeel like there is no tomorrow. Johnny is momentarily startled and drops Geek into the hay with a thud. Kevin ever so proud of himself for keeping the story G rated … ok PG-13 rated… trots off to see how much more trouble he can cause giggling to himself. Johnny feeling awful turns his attentions back to the Geek and apologizes for ruining their moment. The Geek with pride hurting more than her arse and thinking of calling the butcher for fresh sausage quicky forgives the chocolate covered hunk standing before her… “You look like you are good enough to eat” she purrs while striking a seductive pose in the hay. “That’s the idea” Johnny says as he leans over the Geek with is mouth getting closer… and closer… she begins to feel beads of chocolate dripping onto her face and licks her lips in anticipation of the chocolate kiss that is a mere seconds away… but as he gets closer Geek gets the eerie sensation that something is NQR… but she quicky dismisses it as Johnny leans closer and closer and closer… just as there lips were about to touch the Geek…
Nevermind…
“I don’t even care that I am not all that crazy about chocolate…although I do prefer dark chocolate, as it is…more megabytes…” DGRH thought in a haze.
“Do with me what you will” she whispered to Johnny Depp, as they fell through the hay onto the stall floor, amidst Kevin bacon and assorted chickens. "I’m a scientist, and I work on animal behavior. How much more animal behavior can you get than this…?
The moderators were meanwhile thinking, “How long should we let this go on? Shouldn’t we rein them in?” But Mod1 wanted to use rollkur, and Mod 2 felt that a carrot stick would do the job, while Farmeress and Ricky snuck out the back door with some of the other horses, all anxious to compare the sizes of their respective files.
“How many megabytes in your file?” asked Farmeress.
And Ricky replied, “Nevermind.”
She awoke to a start staring up at the horse looking down at her…drooling. “Ewww” she said… “That wasn’t chocolate dripping on my face… that was horse drool…” She then notices that her Pirates of the Caribbean screensaver had come on and that she must have dozed off while loading her files… The horse… smelling fresh peeps in the Geeks pocket and noticing the sprinking of sugar on the Geeks shirt continues to drool and ever so subtley nuge Geeks shoulder to encourage her to give up her prize. “Figures” she sighs… “Everyone else gets hot hunky farm hands and hot farriers and I get horse drool…maybe I shouldn’t have worn my new flannel PJ’s out to the barn…” As she was crinkling the plastic opening a fresh new box of peeps and using the one for you one for me method of dispersing them to the horse she hears someone call her name… she turns around and much to her suprise she sees…
nevermind…
On Sunday when my farrier comes to visit, I pray that thoughts of this thread will NOT pop into my mind…however I fear they will. A Chippendale he is NOT!!! :eek: puh-leeeze don’t let me go there! It’s bad enough as it is! I already try to avert my eyes as much as possible, while still keeping an eye on his position and that of the horse. please please please don’t let me think about this thread!
LOL
…DGRH sees horse-loverz. But somehow, it is not exactly horse-loverz in the flesh, it is a stick horse art horse-loverz. Followed by stick horse art farmeress. Somehow the hunky tool belts don’t look the same in stick art. They look like George Morris’ Big P…
…nevermind.
