How old is the pony? (Sorry if it was mentioned and I missed it) Also does the vet agree on the age range that you were told? It sounds like the pony is very young and was possibly rushed through training to get sold or never had a good training foundation. I agree with others that you need to start at the beginning with clear and firm instruction. It is up to you and your trainer to decide your skill level with this undertaking. Maybe your lessons can first be with basic handling skills and stable manners so that you can see if the pony is going to work out for you or is going to need another environment to get past these issues.
Also, how tall is the pony? (Again sorry if I missed where it was stated) Is the pony big enough for your trainer to ride? Maybe the pony will need some time under saddle with the trainer to make sure that he is a safe ride for you. Good luck and I hope things work out for you.
If she is kind when you handle her in other places, I am not as worried about her pinning her ears in the stall as some other posters. IME some horses are territorial about their stall and need to be taught proper behavior. I would spend some time putting her in her stall and then approaching without the bridle. If she is fine with that, then your problem is more related to her worry about being bridled and ridden than territorial. But if she does it without the bridle it is likely more territorial.
I agree with looking the Warwick Schiller videos - many are free on youtube. Learn how to approach in a way that she sees as less threatening and how to get her to ultimately step towards you to accept the halter and then the bridle.
If she is calm in the field you can practice there haltering and then bridling. And add a reward for any progress when you can. It might be scratching an itchy spot or food. My horse reaches for his bridle - likely because a sugar comes with the bit!
ETA: Agree with Gardenhorse about the need for a vet check!
I agree. If she is fine when you halter her in the field then it sounds like she is probably more stressed out in the barn, with all the activity going on, and you just need to work on getting her more comfortable there.
However, the discomfort with being bridled, rushing, and refusal to pick up her hind feet could also all be due to a physical issue. I would ask the vet to do a basic lameness exam as well as looking at her skin issue.
Personally, I wouldn’t be riding or exercising a horse whose feet I couldn’t pick out. What if she has a rock in there? Or thrush?
It sounds like her hooves are overdue for a trim as well, which could lead to new issues down the road if not addressed. Have you tried sedating her for the farrier? Our local rescue has to occasionally resort to that with their wilder acquisitions when they first arrive.
I really hope that your trainer quarantined this pony when it arrived at the barn. There is no excuse not to when you buy a pony whose origins no one seems to know. Is there any record of vaccinations? Coggins test?
The people that sold her to you obviously know where she came from, since they had to have bought (or had been given) her from somebody. Her origins shouldn’t be a mystery. Neither should your trainer have bought the horse without: a. knowing where it came from and b. having a veterinary record to accompany it.
Do get the Vet out ASAP and good luck. Give the pony time off from riding and let her settle into the new barn. Spend some time just getting to know her and learning how to handle her on the ground.
Real talk here. I bought a pony who presented as a solid training level pony school through some second level movements. The sellers were not dishonest but she was deeply deeply shut down. She was so shut down that no one knew that literally every single thing she did was in absolute terror. The move to my barn was just enough to finally shatter the walls she had up.
We are 14 months our relationship. When she arrived she was a train wreck. I did ulcer treatment, exhaustive saddle fitting, and then “treated her like a horse”. Every bit of my previous experience taught me if I ignored those freak outs and acted normally, she would come around. She didn’t. Something that was an issue month 1 was just as big of a problem month 6, if not worse.
Last June I stepped back and decided to invest in rebuilding her from the ground up. Honestly, I thought I was looking at 2-3 months tops…I haven’t regularly ridden in over 8 months. There are days when I sit at the end of a 22 foot rope and I’m still too close for what she can handle that day. It is emotionally draining and really hard because the more I listen the more I realize how much her world truly terrifies her. This is a pony that if I forced it, tomorrow she would ground tie for tacking, open her mouth for a bridle, and seem “rusty” under saddle. She would be obedient but truly 8/10 stressed and liable to blow at a small stimuli because she’s already on the verge of boiling over. She deserves better though. She didn’t ask for all the people before me to ignore her stress signals until she shut down and didn’t learn how to communicate. Today she started full body shaking because a farrier was working on a horse at the other end of the barn. It broke my heart but also, it is honest. She feels safe showing how much a “normal” activity still scares her.
I hope your horse comes around sooner but with the number of holes you are pointing out, she may have some deep deep fear baggage that may take months to unravel. Warwick Schiller saved my horse. Truly. She is one who would have 100% ended up in the slaughter pipeline regardless of her talent because when they shut down this hard they become dangerous if they cannot run.
If I could give one piece of advice, it would be to spend $40 and get a Warwick subscription. Watch a dozen videos in the connection series and then go spend a few hours just observing your mare. Watch how she reacts when you move toward her, watch what happens to her eyes/ears/mouth, see how long it takes for her to go from sympathetic to parasympathetic. Second piece of unsolicited advice, please please do not send her to a “wet saddle pad” “make her appreciate the easy life” type of cowboy. They will crush a horse this terrified and she will shut down and it will seem okay until it isn’t and someone gets really really hurt.
Yeah, I would set aside riding goals for a minute. It sounds like this pony was probably just sort of manhandled along, and not trained in a way to be comfortable with these daily handling things. And perhaps has learned a bit that if she bluffs by acting out, that people will back off.
I agree with the groundwork suggestions, and maybe clicker training could be a big help in reshaping her behavior and getting her comfortable with being handled.
Make sure the vet looks closely at her back end and do a neuro test during the vet exam. Not picking up back feet is very often a sign of some sort of hind end lameness, especially, in horses with ataxia that are otherwise handled but can’t manage to deal with hind hoof picking. I’ve seen that twice – one horse had wobbler’s and the other a spinal injury. Horses can definitely get a bit kicky with sore hocks, SI, stifles, etc.
Glad you are having the vet out, it is key to investigate/rule out pain first or the horse won’t ever have a fair shot of relaxing.
Your busy lesson barn with horses reaching out to ‘tag’ your pony while on the aisle is doing you and the pony no favors. Horses reaching out should have a stall guard across the opening so they can’t do that to others.
Not a fan of your trainer who apparently allows this.
Agree with the Warwick Schiller recommendation.
When I have moved boarding barns it could take a month for the horses to calm down in the new surroundings, new pasture mates, etc.
Some other things I don’t think have been mentioned:
Smaller horses are sometimes, in some families, just stuck in the back yard and mom says to the kids “Get out of the house and off the games! Go outside and play!” What’s outside? the poor pony. Just him, and a bunch of rowdy kids. Grownups are off doing something else. We don’t know, but he may have had some experience like that.
And carrots, used judiciously, can reap benefits in fearful horses. In a situation that would create stress, keep your own mind cool and collected, don’t ask for anything more than he can give, and when you see any sign of relaxation, then: Carrot!
This could be the reason she is defensive in the stall. She knows you are going to take her out and she knows what is waiting the other side.
Can you move her to an end stall where she won’t have to encounter others as she enters/ exits?
When I was a teen in the early 1990’s, I read Dr. Reiner Klimke’s book ‘Ahlerich: The Making of a Dressage World Champion’. He talked about the first few days after Ahlerich arrived from the sale; a young horse who had never lived anywhere but the farm on which he was born, exhausted from his trip, & to whom Dr.Klimke was a completely unknown quantity. He apparently started by taking Ahlerich for some long walks in hand. Just the two of them. Away from the pressure of everyone watching, eager to see if this supposed up and coming superstar could deliver.
I can’t remember his exact wording, but it was something to the effect of: “I could tell that he understood that I understood his exhaustion & was grateful that I was not going to ask too much of him.” But with the further implication that he believed the horse had pride & agency & was anxious that the introduction go well & Klimke be pleased with him.
That passage changed the way I dealt with horses forever. The idea that the horse might have pride in his work & be anxious about beginning a relationship with a new human was so far outside the realm of anything I had been taught as an American H/J kid in the 80’s. I was floored. Ever since, my focus upon meeting a new horse has been to build a bond & foundation of trust. Sort of like team building exercises at work with your coworkers 
Only after that has gelled do we get into the meaty parts.
In short, I wouldn’t worry about what the rest of the barn thinks you should be doing right now. You’ve got the vet coming; that’s the first step. For now, just relax, run down the physical issues, and learn to enjoy each other’s company. She’s not going to go feral from few weeks or even a few months off. It’ll be fine, you’ll get back on track. Good luck & congratulations!
Any update OP? Fingers crossed that you’ve discovered what’s bothering your pony either through the vet or different handling. Best wishes !
Still waiting to hear back from the vet, my trainer said she contacted her but I’m considering just calling someone else. Unfortunately there’s not much change I can make where she’s at right now. I’m hoping that soon I can bring her home, and then maybe the more quiet, peaceful environment will help her. Its just very frustrating, I feel like I’m ruining this pony’s life. Refuses the hooves, refuses the bridle, refuses to really stand ever. Someone must have done her very poorly. I suppose only time will tell at this point.
That’s hard! I’ll share an experience I had with a pony I bought years ago who was supposedly a kids’ ride. He was cheap so I didn’t do a PPE. I took his history as truth. My first clue that he was just completely not broke or used to handling was when I went to fly spray him and he freaked the F out. Time and patience. Rule out the physical and then maybe start from square one.
PS he blossomed into a wonderful boy. He just was hardly handled and never really broke.
You’re not… you are at least listening to your horse which is sadly more than a lot of equestrians do.
Maybe, maybe not though. Not every horse that’s flighty and standoffish like that necessarily means someone intentionally did them wrong or abused them. It might be a possibility, but it’s not something I would dwell on. I would just focus on the behavior in front of you and where her anxiety is coming from. Sometimes people mean well but when we write off anxiety, as “well someone clearly abused this horse!” we might be doing them a disservice because we stop listening and trying to understand.
The truth is some horses are just introverted and a little sensitive or maybe they have gaps in their training. Or maybe they are just one of those that traditional training methods don’t always get through to. Warwick Schiller has a video on YouTube called something like “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” or something along those lines. He talked about how some training styles are fine and work for most horses but every once in awhile you get one that is just very shut down. It’s not that the training was necessarily wrong or abusive, but for some horses there’s a disconnect.
I have one of those horses now and I’ve had her since she was 2 and before then she was pretty unhandled in a field with a bunch of other babies. I also know the people I bought her from so I know her history well enough to say I’m reasonable sure nobody every abused her. She’s the best mare in the world and will do anything I ask however her with her personality she gets very introverted and shut down easily. If she doesn’t know you, or worse if she doesn’t like you, then you might be in trouble. Shes just sensitive and takes time and if you want anything from her you have to ask very very nicely. Same thing with the farrier, she used to be horrendous with him but he’s been doing her feet now for 2 years and eventually she realized, he’s not going to hurt her, or get mad at her, or do anything mean so now she stands quietly.
She’s just not a horse that you have to be very present and aware of her comfort level. Not because someone made her that way, that’s just how she is. I relate it to my own anxiety. Nothing specifically every “happened” to me to make me have anxiety, I just have anxiety.
Idk if that’s making sense but good luck and keep us posted!
Exactly. It’s quite likely pony was never kept in a barn at all before.
Why not let her live on a field and just bring her inside for an hour a day to eat, to get used to it?
Some horses take a while to settle. My horse is an anxious type and when I first got him, it took him about 6 months to really settle in. I did get him in January, so I had a cold weather horse when I got him, and when the weather warmed up, he started to act a little less like a nut. Like your pony, he was always well behaved under saddle, just wouldn’t stand, was an idiot about bridling, etc.
The stall behavior is pretty typical of a marish mare. And I did have a friend who could not pick out her horse’s hind feet as well. I thought that was the oddest thing. The farrier never trimmed them, so they grew/wore down funny, and over time I thought it was pretty clear the issue was caused by pain. Until you get that problem under control, you might need to sedate her for the farrier to trim her back feet. You don’t want to end up with uneven growth/wear.
I’d get a vet out for the skin issue but I’d also have them AT LEAST check for lameness issues/hind end soreness, as well as reproductive system issues. It would be great if you had a pretty thorough general exam done.
Honestly, I think a lot of the problems you are having can be fixed with positive reinforcement. When you open the door of her stall see if you can get her to come to you with a cookie, instead of going in to her. I taught my horse to stand at the mounting block using a cookie, and to self-bridle using a cookie. I haven’t done a ton of research on Warwick Shiller or some of the other more “Natural” type of horsemanship but I think there are some good techniques in there.
How old is this pony? And is she actually a pony?
Takes my pony 2-3months to really settle and if horses are being aggressive walking down the aisle either have her stall moved or close doors/windows to protect your horse.
You need a treat pouch and some clicker training. Positive reinforcement and a good vet check would do wonders. I bet poor thing has some serious ulcers and shut down from being passed around.
I love this! Thank you. 
