This is a great post, dmveventer! I was lucky enough to have my mom support my horsey dreams as a kid, and we were able to do the A circuit. But, we did it on much more of a budget than the rest of my friends. To save (some) money, we did things like: bought young and green, we didn’t show as much as the other juniors, and my mom learned how to braid. So, my horse would show during the week with my trainers in the greens and then we would come for the junior stuff and she would braid on the weekend. She was so good she would often get our braider’s overflow and make some side money.
We also bought each horse with an eye to selling it- the first we sold as a Children’s Hunter and the last two we sold when they were confirmed in the Large Juniors with me and doing the Regular Working Hunters with my trainers. We had very nice horses and I got a great education in the process. This isn’t necessarily something you want to do, but the basic idea is that you can do this sport on somewhat of a budget and be successful, you just have to figure out how to get what you want.
I also rode everything and anything for my trainers, from bringing along green horses to be part of the lesson program to sales horses, and I occasionally catch rode at shows, so I got way more saddle time than I would have with just my one horse. If your daughter is truly passionate about it, and her skills are able to develop, this might be a route for her, too, down the line.
I began as a pony jock when I was around her age, and rode a lot of different horses and ponies before we bought our own (a just-broke 3 year old!) when I was 13. It doesn’t sound like any sort of catch-riding is much of an option with the program she is now in, but as you become more familiar with the scene in your area you might find a different situation exists at another barn. If she is a good rider, there may be more opportunities for her to get saddle time. I would go to shows, talk with other parents, watch other trainers and how they school their students, and (quietly) suss things out to see if there are other options. This is a stupidly-expensive sport, but there are ways to do it that get a bit more bang for your buck.
Someone mentioned eventing–I do jumpers but board and train with eventers, and that might really suit you guys. It tends to be more DIY (although not always!) and more hands on than a lot of the top HJ programs. My trainer has a working student program that has brought several young riders up into accomplished horsewomen. Your daughter is too young for that, but in a couple of years she would fit into the sort of program we have at my barn. They get an education in everything from the ground up, get lots of time in the saddle on a range of different horses, learn how to groom for the FEI level, and so on. My trainer has a couple of 2 year olds right now that her working student helps with, and the other day the kid learned how to drive the tractor with the bush hog to mow the fields!
Lots of things to think about! I wish you and your child luck and hope you can find a good situation where she can develop her skills and learn how to be a good partner for whatever horse she is on.
