Non Horse People Stories - Spinoff from "Sigh. … Why? Just … WHY?"

[Libby2563]

Hopefully this isn’t too inappropriate:

Years ago when I was first getting to know a work friend and he found out I ride, he wanted to ask me a question but wasn’t sure if I’d be offended / report him to HR. So he mentioned it to our mutual friend, who knew me slightly better but also just had less of a filter (and who is now my husband lol). The next time I saw them Hubby, the soul of subtlety, blurts out to me, “Jeremy’s afraid to ask you this but he wants to know if you’ve ever had an orgasm while riding.” Poor Jeremy turned bright red.

[hybriseris]

@Libby2563 If that were the case, wouldn’t waaaaay more people get in to the sport? Good god LOL

[sweetsalute]

Believe it or not…I actually know someone who has experienced this. Apparently some women can get it doing ab workouts too. That sure would be awkward in the middle of a gym

@Mango20

My XH, upon getting to know my horses, was really surprised they had individual personalities.

Haha my boyfriend still doesn’t quite believe they have personalities. And I have two mares so personality is definitely not something they lack!

[Jenerationx]

@FjordBCRF

someone would have to dress up like a carrot and run.

I had a stressed out day from hell waiting to hear how a “we’re family now” friend’s valve replacement went… and really needed this laugh today. I’m picturing a Fjord chasing a man in a 6 foot carrot costume and typing through tears from laughing so hard. Thank you for sharing that.

@pony_grandma That is a great story. Sometimes 2 horse people just meet and click right away, and it’s great.

@Libby2563 I think I’d take up endurance riding if that were to happen.

[Libby2563]

@sweetsalute

Believe it or not…I actually know someone who has experienced this. Apparently some women can get it doing ab workouts too. That sure would be awkward in the middle of a gym

It has actually happened to me, maybe 10 times in 30 years of riding. The first time I was 15 and I was like, “WTH was that???”

[lenapesadie]

Mr LS is as non horsey as they get.

When he inevitably has to field questions about the horses, his answers crack me up.

My current favorite

Neighbor: Is it a lot of work to have horses?
Mr LS: Like having enormous cats. They are bossy and hungry.

Once when I was still boarding, some random visitors were walking around with their small girl child, around 5 yrs old. The dad stopped to visit my horse and I in the wash rack. Dad made a fuss over my horse (big, dark, friendly and hairy). Dad asked his little girl if she wanted to come closer and pet my horse. Little girl says with a serious tone “No, he’s too big.”

[ChocoMare]

Oh that’s awesome!

[pony_grandma]

She’s a professor in Zurich now!

[ABookworm]

My non horsey neighbor was extremely concerned when my small pony had to wear a protective mask over an eye injury. This thing looked like a scuba diving mask and the poor neighbor was so concerned that the pony couldn’t see properly.

It was the sweetest thing when she came over to the fence and asked, very politely, if I could explain why he had it on because she knew I wouldn’t do something without a valid reason.

[demidq]

When trying to find a part boarder for my daughter’s 15’1" pony club horse, I was amazed at what came out of the woodwork. There were several LARGE men who wanted to gallop around in western tack (no previous experience) that were easy to weed out as well as the "I’ve been on some trail ride " types.
There was also a very nice young woman who told me she had been riding several years, lots of lessons with a dressage trainer. When she came to try the horse, it was clear she was a VERY rank beginner. She seemed really grateful for the suggestion that she might enjoy a good lesson barn more, and gave her several names. I later heard she had actually taken me up on the suggestions and was having lots of fun.

[Laverne77]

Many years ago, when I would still go out on the occasional date, I would often find myself taken to country bars since obviously I must be a cowgirl since I have horses. (Nothing against cowgirls or western riding, but I ride English. And I detest country music.) Even minus the country bars the conversations would always include the same assumption. And then the same universal question: “So when can I come ride your horses with you?” sigh

[Jackie_Cochran]

When we took my oldest grandson out to ride at a stable I ride at he was shrinking back away from the horses who were all of 14 hands or so high.

He did not say anything but his brightness had fled.

So I took him by the hand, told him I wanted him to meet a horse I had been riding, and took him to see the 18.2 hand high half draft horse. My grandson stood there, craned his head back so he could see the horse’s head, and went WOW, he’s BIG!!!

We went back to the 14 hand horses and we had no more problems, he was no longer scared of them since they were so big. All it took was introducing him to a BIG horse, then the other ones looked like a more reasonable size for a little boy.

[endlessclimb]

@sweetsalute

Apparently some women can get it doing ab workouts too.

The reverse incline bench is not for me. It’s never actually happened, but yeah. No.

[Tarlo_Farm]

Some of you may have heard this story before; I’d left a DT magazine at my parent’s house one weekend. A few days later, out for breakfast with them, my dad leaned over in a conspiratorial kind of way and asked, “How are those halt-halves coming?”
I nearly fell out of the booth laughing, but his interest was so cute and so touching!

[2DogsFarm]

@attempting

He is scared of mud and puddles and trees and cows, so we are not big into intense stuff

Hey!
To your horse, all of the above counts as Intense Stuff!

[2DogsFarm]

Scratched cornea
My horsey friend called it his Face Bra

[SuzieQNutter]

Mine was from a girl who had owned and ridden before. I went to assess her as a favour for a friend. A girl who had bought a horse, tb of course, a trail ride horse and wanted to do dressage at a rented farm and no facilities for horses or to ride, and she hadn’t ridden in years.

I took off the stock saddle that didn’t fit, put on a better fitting dressage saddle and after riding for a bit, hopped off and started teaching him to lunge.

I told her honstly to sell her horse or send him to my place for training.

Of course as soon as she saw Sim and Stars she was in love. She said something about us going to competitions together and she could ride Sim, then to herself disappointment that I would be the one riding Sim.

I trained her horse. I put her on Sim and gave her lunge lessons. I let her have reins connected to the lunging cavesson, he was in side reins.

Her horse started to round up, she went from being scared to being able to canter without stirrups.

I kept hinting that it was time for her to go.

The end came when she asked when she was going to ride my horses. I said you have ridden Sim.

No I mean when do I get to ride him properly with reins on the bit?

Never.

Why not?

They are not school horses, if you want to ride school horses you can go to Dalson Park and ride the school horses there.

She was gone the next day.

Boy I made a lot of money while she was here. I made sure it wasn’t cheap as an incentive from the start that she wouldn’t be here too long!

[attempting]

Agree! I worded that wrong, so yes we do some intense stuff, but not in the normal category of intense. I love that horse though, so I’ve gotten used to the things he finds worrying.

[attempting]

See, it does kind of look like that! I see their point!

[Jenerationx]

@lenapesadie

Neighbor: Is it a lot of work to have horses?
Mr LS: Like having enormous cats. They are bossy and hungry.

He nailed that one!